page 13 July 2026
waffle created
VERY VERY incomplete
TO be added to and hopefully edited so it's more easily digestible.....soon
Especially as i met a worthy recipient, at....last....
12 July 2026
walking in the hills midday no hat
disastrous production values as a mentally ill one had ever so slightly discobobbed me and i thought the good quality recorder was on when it wasnt but my note taking one in pocket was....
so part 1 is a bit sound compromised
4 files in this folder
plus some video clips to list later
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1Jrzd33JdCXDxenuDIyxJA_CYV3zIQ0gi?usp=sharing
PArt 1 is this file
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1YX0qg8C6kCL-AFMWsfDS3N5fB8-y_lq-/view?usp=sharing
then files 24 25 26
but i have realised what's really the problem
Thousands of hours with books (unfortunately) by English MEN (who firstly stuck their noses up in the 60s) - novels of the last 50 years; not by choice, first choice would have been Rachel Cusk, then for great laughs grown up no moaning, Wendy Perriam or even Faith Bleasdale, but they didnt write enough to keep one occupied through the boredom of y'all in a mess... (32 years ago i knew)
The men.... and a perfect last one today, Matt ....
HAs helped so so so pinpoint 'it'
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this page only half made
I have had half a dozen splurges on this so so dull but fundamental subject the last 3 years..
The splurge on this page may be the best yet
It really adds on to the effort from 2 months ago this page refers to
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1XdHrSWixWHrbLoLFxIih27qXkJCvANS-ZDkiDW-riUQ/edit?usp=drive_link
or rather attempts to begin to suggest and debate with myself how to REALLY advise someone you love...because i know that nobody else can..
the superb Horizon, Why did i go MAd...
link below
which says in REALITY bugger all of it is about heredity ("10% maybe.." with a gun to Dr Singhs head....when he should have said "its almost only..YOU"
'"immigrants [white trash] have the highest rates of psychoaffectives..".but they - the worst stupid expert class ever, are too thick to have worked out that its about VALUES...immos have to move to a different value-o-sphere...
as do...
private schoolboys many who are obviously stark raving tragic... have to move between value systems..
the lass they fancy who works in the sweetshop and the housemaster who fancies them..
have utterly opposite values and both may be as attachment attractive, desperate for human touch as mummy wouldn't....to said privates....
(and i'm not talking about the unknowable sexy stuff) and having to move between different values systems in the same road..or town.... or bedroom or cafe floor . can blow a fuse..
In the simply superb Lyndsay where true feminsim was displayed they gave her equal billing on their motor bike and front row when it came to machine guns later.....
in fact they deified her never mind knew she was sexier than ten Camillas in a vat of Bollinger... and were only at ease with HER....class
But as soon as they then have to go back home - immigrate from her best dancing floor ever whether or not clothed... back into the 'halls' of course they blow a fuse ...confused, as to which value sytem the fuckk is THEM???
hence the quite understandable even if rather sensible even if arty farty ending performance.... as i wouldnt even wish DT the DTS or a cold...
They get rooftop-psychoaffective skittingness... and there we have it proof my theory is far better than anything that proto-Jenny cidere.. who knows no raghead can ever not be a proto-busbomber....
. "the worlds most famous 'neuroscientist' Sam..." .. (even Dawkins fawns on his...not an accident that DAwkins got it ALL wrong too...but had 'charisma' ... ask LA La the movie star
mixed values confuse..
confusion causes. mental exhaustion = 'wonky disorder' etc etc etc.... and many other etcetera's
(And all English male writers especially since maybe Herbert Bates are too thick and fucked up by it, to even slightly explain to you the realities of class..)
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x5m331x
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This audio material also sort of partly refrs back into the awful writing of him here
https://www.ralphschism.com/2026/07/exclude-performative-solitude.html
but there are bits missing for now
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reference even if i like her in a certain way.... even if she needs help
to say the least.... but i just have this little notion, i can MAKE her...for her own sake.
