The psychology of simplest living, via my stories of many years truly simplest living. Real ones - not earnest or pious.
Ten years a landloper. Time to tell those tales, too.
Ralphschism.com My permanent one home online started 22 feb 2023.
Start at the beginning (first 'post' - click 'older posts' bottom right hand corner ). Themes are developed and then woven together - a series of regular essays. Some in handwriting; some audio/vid.
ONLY peaceful nice content here. 07958 5263eight1
Anyway there is too much noisy melodrama in such a word..
Anyone actually paying attention to the reality of this bankrupt swamp... knew what happened especially as i became involved in the lore against them...
As i would term them, then... hey get a piece of paper
HND even degree
from 'Woolly Polly'..
(all must have prizes, it became a university but the name still accurate in fact is the name)
Dye their hair blue
And think they know reality
Basically, put the bluehairs in charge, and one thing abot the bluehairs they never read any Russians ... who teach you that no one is ever in charge and all being in charge is cant vanity and only
temporary
So they ruined the words, too... in case one may wish to use Kushneresque kind of words as defence.
But words are for good word pictures.
And all it really has ever been is walking a plank... or caber... over the very smelly swamp (polluted by their bathdrain blue runoff, they will deny is ever an issue especially if they run The Marches XR..." oh so you have found some magic way of changing your colour every other day even over the age of growing up say 60... that doesnt involve using any kind of chemicals or resources..wow thats clever") they turned solids ..into...
caber... solid wood... balance... not bouncing on a highwire... just down to earth simple words needed...soon
(oops... ok one month of the actual olympics of fixing things...a whole big fat section missed out - here, on how dire the language has become and it is impossible to get any accurate info on what chkdsk does... so i have made my own, as i did indeed beat the Christian and save his unreliable tablet from being mumbo jumbo.... but as for fixing any incoherence, a side issue...as i shared with her... " letting go, leaning in to accepting death, for real, means not fretting if ones terribly good little newthoughts get lost before you even get them into a notepad as the 'goddesses' get a sneak preview and may smile, with an actually sincere one face.." - that being a foreign concept to most own in Londonistan-on-sea - ...
anyway oops, i thought i had 'published' this deliberately obscure bit, in sequence.... but i hadn't...now i have the most perfect quiet of all from dawn ... all i care about is a salvo of quiet clips so as to make my point... i am constant, and do seek quiet... not because of some mental hypersensitivity disorder but because it really is the best place to be as i have found two decades almost always in it - awake and forget the rest of silly humanity isnt there... but not hearing them is the first step on that pathway to paradise of just free thinking.....)
rit a few weeks ago
their pronouns are " REAL babes" ...
And their smiles as they come over the brow of them cliffy paths are real....
A summer of they...
" youve made it.... well done.... the 40km stretch.... and if your smock is sweaty there's the best shower on the walk....... did you know near 75% of walkers along here ..the 600 odd miles thats 1000km in real universal " human" measurements ... are Krautish with the odd Swiss and Austrian thrown in so i can tell all the Ausies, at least one has heard of the greatest writer for 75 years... their Tommy....
" And as for 'feminine' bullshit gender wars.... 75% are indeed female, a word that describes about 5% of bodily constituent and function being just a tad different... but generally the same with the one obvious quirk ignored .... and that 75% doth moan FAR less than the blokes.... they need no sunhat, absurd sunglasses or pitiful potions 'protecting' them.... proving there is a natural state: equally capable if anything, no
workshop needed....
" i knew years ago even if it all so went backwards anyway ... you must exchange, not just take as a tourist visitor traveller...
" please listen to my pronunciation. i think i am getting better... e.g. Kushner a Nestbeschmutzerin ... far more masculine than any whimpering masculinised version... and proves there is extreme sex bias in that the italicised sections beginning every chapter...
"are OBVIOUSLY just a poetical device.... a weaving of someone else's words with hers... and are extremely beautiful in fact... there is no intent or trick, she simply lifts some words someone else once wrote and tangos his words with her new words in her story...
" but as i made it through her greatest book in one sitting...lying on the couch in my small cave then... as i dont cheat and use the internet i am gradually getting a feeling... and by the end of the book... [ loving the great section on wanting to smash up all the chainsaws] ...it dawns... ' what a cheeky lass... now i would never read it as he is a mass murderer and i wouldnt even wish a shaving cut on a ginger fat man...but it must be,...i really think it is..... but talk about sexist biasism..... talk about an unfair world... never mind getting nominated for the Booker and wrongly denied.... no man would be let into his publishers bogs for a piss if he was as a safe old-man beginning to dribble..if he included in his book, verbatim... long tracts of the murderous Unabomber for gods sake.... "
Anyway a summer of even practicing Thomas Bernhard's word...and Rachel K's - of course she is...and that's why they wouldnt give her the Booker... NO PITY! we don't learn from pity.....
my my... it does impress the walking lasses... once they catch my bad pronunciation and adapt it to their mother ear...
And we....smile....
There is only honour walking in remote stretches of pathway ... where no one would hear you scream...
It sorts the women from, the girls...
(two youngers.... my my the 30ishs dont really have an accent any more other than angloyank.... had me taking their holiday snaps yesterday smiling together at the .... i think i will call it classwar rock)
Thursday 25 July 2024
ultra simple zen of nuthing is all..(no that doesn't work either). - 3 years only a few items of cutlery,
now i wouldn't purloin any left-behind quite good nick footwear... I respect the common good..
BUt if still there the next day, well theres no lost and found..
( note to self get out the years of lost glove pics from old territory... in reality seeking the good life in The Marches wasnt any good for you the amount of dropped gloves lettering the roadside! I ended up with a major Turner-deserved collection..of the truth of Starmers sad little not very zenned aisle..and thats in a region 1/8 population density..
out of sequence
BUt...when the adhders of Oggle go and redesign Oggle Blogger so that you cannot any longer one click whack unlimited snippets here at any time and have to now spend half an hour doing one by one...
My technique doesnt work any more..
Reboot
(there being three stories in just this one image)
Time to go and live under my rock... at least i know what time the sun rises... which always did scare away the (ex towny) "birds"...
Bless them, four years...(starting in the glorious new era of spring 2020... )
The movie, soon...i have dug into my treasure trove of actual treasure. None of the last 18 months is...
so, all i was doing was googling: [surely Alexei has something to say about] " Alexei Sayle on Lycra"
As i have never seen so much lycra in my life in the last year ..or maybe he still used that lovely old far far more real word, spandex - rather more descriptive of ... well, one day maybe i shall get to that. (reason for hiding way way west )
Spandex, Lycra, or elastane is a synthetic fiber known for its exceptional elasticity. It is a polyether-polyurea copolymer that was invented in 1958 by chemist Joseph Shivers at DuPon
Anyway i have no, zero, nada, interest whatsoever in the pollution of the SW...none...not one polymer of my business. I did not come to care...
It is merely sad, and somewhat symbolic, there are virtually no butterflies, even..
I have known for 10+ years it's the pixies, or in fact in original parlance "space cadets" .. who got in the way of real environmental stuff...
I am simply astonished that said - but needed to see.. how the 'middle class' earth mothers / goody goodies... all from the SE., moving out here on their dodgy cash to recreate themselves as do gooders... simply never mention their own obvious consumerism in new often light coloured spandex (which requires more of mother earth to keep clean)..
Always someone else....always...
We knew of 'corporate greed' decades ago...
And it was obvious by 2020 if there is no one left to vote for, then its time to leave a region...meaning the whole sceptic aisle.
All i care about is the total lack of irony, absurdism, or depth in the new Messiahs of goody goodiness...
And to see them in their home territory, was unnecessary as i already knew...but is a cartoon..in fact cartoon material for the rest of life...
Good for me...
Indeed proof, of ... the 'working class' are generally just fine... and do in fact have ok qwork life balance - all this knockin off at 4pm splendid, most work being artificial... but i have never observed so many clearly angsty fretful middle class goody goody types, who clearly have posture problems... despite all the spandex and yoga, in that its about how to be... always. Not merely for the photo shoot - selfie or the ubiquitous 'group' so as to pretend you actually are human.. .. or dont need pills to sleep, or dopamine to get through the inauthentic day after day with nothing real to say..
All of which sounds gobbledygook.
All... every word...
But nearly 5 years ago - the only time in my life for many years, i felt bodily maudlin verging on almost a real downer ... brexititis 3 year mental fugue setting in ...cos i DID stuff...to no avail...
And sat in the recently on the road jalopy, in a Horrorfordshire layby... in one of my quietest atchin tans... along came the last person in the world i would think would be the simple happiest ever change... as she was the 'enemy'
And that story, is certainly worth a something or other..
Film script?
THing is i joined Mubi 9 months on...time on my hands...and i simply jaw dropped at the misery porn... the self regarding self obsessed self pitying bullshit...
Is the world ready yet for the actual truth for some... especially her .. just how truly New life 2020 became..
I doubt it with the Starmites in charge...
Ironic a few days later " highest national debt since 1962"
And today we have " eight years to clear the waiting lists"
The Pixies of course ( the mermaids all having died of PCB, that fills the sea - very very serious..real...not a joke) think it all hit the fan by 'magic' and certainly none of their behaviour may have resulted in ...anyway it can be magicked away by industrialised corporate vudu, if you cannot quite get to Eisenstein levels of book contract... and good vibrations
BUt the best thing of all - Alexei surely has read his Russians...as i have - almost all.... you want tyranny! Stalinist Kafkaesque dystopia...
As it creates in time true art and creative newness... and being able to MAster and his Margheritas ..laugh at it all... with guile..
Being on the cliff edge, keeps the spirit alive...
( i will assume i wasn't shopped, or tales told upon, which seems to be the UK Olympic actual Arena, for good, even if for bad... caught; as if she actually did have a real "second sight", and felt my gaze... my great eyes lingering on her bent over and me enjoying the simple pleasures.... my delivery yestereve... how sweet!.. damn i want to stay here.... it has worked.. )
Anyway, i still cannot find the right words.
'Simple' simplify... cut back, methodically go through every smallest item and stow away anything not absolutely necessary to living in the now, for several years... and why simplify? (because no one can ever be relied upon - all too busy looking up ex drug dealers who preach ethnic bullshit or indigenous claptrap as its easier than being a cleaning lady..) except a more elegant way of describing it is required..
and 'ascetic' is too often vibrating in a semi religious puritan way, and one thing for sure - as i have studied it... them... ALL religious tendency including second sight of a shaman's bottom... with the shits; the Ayahuascadose Miss calculated in that even a micro dot of it on a "micro ['spiritual'] adventure" (ohhh woe is me) is not as nature intended and disturbs the system...
Now, so you dont have to do it, i have been gently plodding along in sort of studies most evenings for 18 months...intended for one. But it is always to the same pattern: ponder what those better at marketing their nonsense to the so called 'aware' and or 'enlightened' peddle...
But it must be those who have or rather are fakebook or other diseases, spread among the cliquey elite...
I hadnt heard of Charles Eisenstein, nor Martin, with a cute i... ...
But all they are is latter day variants of the original Tom Pauls (who sadly i had to see in person 20 years ago as they invaded first, all from the South East...all on mummy and daddy's inherited money, too..and so so so damaging - audio in can, to release one day... ) ... please note, male - and frankly it is all no different than sex trafficking pimping, and extremely misogynistic ... basically all harking back to the blokes making a racket on their tom toms and the women staying in the kitchen being "alchemists" at the cooking pot - just a cutesy way of enslaving...
But the new-bloke...one i sat and studied, 2020...as he was a 'friend' of an old 'friend' ... i simply copuldn't believe the claptrap basically from his newfoundland porch setting himself up as a New Messiah on zoom and attempting a 'Feed the World' Geldofian fame level... except no 'f' words...
Funny thing is they really do all look the same...
Adnd nowadays make everyone even sicker with the sick joke that is their pious rhetoric...
(all of which needs a book...) but there's a sequence...
2020 the divine glorious year of Be New...
"Oh there is some new work in that very remote corner of the woodland....
" ohh no...you are kidding... the one who also looks a bit like an aged Charlie ... and preaches the same sort of crap... him and his equally pious full of herself Extinction Rebellion hosting Missus.. have bulldozed alive a load of baby badgers... "
Bad enough
But it was then the several months of meandering around the supposed 'aware'
"nature" fans of the region - female... at great personal danger seeing if any would put down their books on morphic fuckin resonance to actually get some moral justice - in an arty profound way ..for said cided brocks..
Nope... zoom calls to make to morphic central i guess..or just be stuck and unhappy with no actual 'energy' which is the net effect of all this Charliesque misery..
( i didnt know that almost every incomer bloke in the SW - those via Kensington and Fulham, style themselves on Charlie -indeed many actually could be twins - exactly as the girlfriend wants... second best)
A subject one day to be continued, however... lasternight, at LAST!!!
Mister "making sense" says something sensible. (and ohh how i have studied him)
Though he uses the wrong word (s) - and it is hard, neither "social justice" brigade, nor 'woke' work... too many complicated undertones ...
And years ago i got the right word... Precious.... except that doesnt really work either - perhaps too aggressively disparaging even said softly
However anyone with a brain - if there are any left, knew about 5 years ago, that if the 'left' - none of them know...
oh yes it came back: " while i remember" yestereve..
I think the real key to the last 20ish years is the absolute inability of anyone - especially the 'aware' lot... to understand what the phrase ' for the common good' actually means. (too important not to try and write a few good paras soon )
Anyway back to closeout of loads of drivel over the last month.
Next... but for now
If, she - the glittery one...
let go...
Maybe she could even be as good as the one who did... for real..
(i am so glad i picked this up on my last meander around helicopter-gunship town)
It became a kind of "insight" and bible
Even if to burn.
Except fool me i now see it is more insidious and cultish intafadesque than their Queer'un
And it worked.
Meanwhile back to the simplify tapes, soon.
complexify to simplify
and all that.
Now it is nearly finished.
There just isnt a bloody word for e super methodically organised into absolute purest minimalism of nothing needed 'in the moment' except a few notepads but keep to just two! you naughty greedy lazy man! in 20+ year old plastic covers to keep them dry...
And anyway most of ones ideas come to nothing...so just be
prepared for anything
but expect rain.
Which reminds me - it is quite extraordinary in fact how little the songwriter has changed in 60 years... her [inglit] phrasing is so similar to
Wonderfully Rimbaud.. absurdist if you listen to the words... leaving her meaning, to the imagination... exactly as it SHOULD be..
and if you are so black-obsessed, well marry one as he did or get the best backing singers in history on board as equals...
Oh yes Mister 'Sense' ....
" Trump.. The Turk.. the 'authoritarians'... maybe folk are drawn to them as they are so utterly made ill by the 'social justice' 'message' used to [lie] by the precious brigade ... quite as vicious as Gollum ... "
Infact there's a bit of medicine or healing: it seems to be really bad for the skin all that fake piety... most of 'em i have known do need a bit of expensive skin cream as it rinkles em well before their time..
But of course theyre stuck.. (to becont)
i need some words: for momentum + simple.. = good. Gyroscope wont do...
I believe
sooner or later they will come.
And 'simplifying' is necessary as they say they may and never do... and thus one wastes endless time...
Wednesday 24 July 2024
only 100 more of those absurd snippets to go, then nasty photos...soon... and so much REAL writing
One day
But even more perfect timely timing...
Kathleen's dad was simply the only person with "second sight" worth reading a word of...as his are still true 120 years on
TO utter perfection.
ONly good thing about the doggie lot (others have contributed to this soon one day their words, too) is far fewer "performing dog" on the wild Western Coast thang god.. they still perform fucking pig though.
So,. as usual it all comes down to the Black Swan ... or don't assume...or dont think you know how you will feel after some "change" - especially one you assume will be negative
Having undergone one small change i would have assumed as Untouchable negative as possible... indeed the exact opposite is so.
And having happily adapted - what a dull word for found the seam of gold...in ANYthing
I deserve a size 7 to need a pair of walking boots...
As anyone would simply, agree..if they knew my actual truth. Which is too good to be true.
"class" she said... at her rock.
Got me t6hinking...a lot
one missed out.
For now.
The dying bee...
may be...metaphor
Well certainly is for one thing, there are so few skinny women left and all things being equal that tend to keep you alive a bit longer
plus ALL must be reused...no feelings, ever (a book to come on that 15 years in the making with loadsa skip photos from some years ago... Eckhartism makes people get ranty when they discover they arent themselves quite as perfect as they Fakebok..and when people get ranty stuff ends u wasted...year ago i figure and i am thick, all Greens far to intelligent and smart to wonder WHY waste is created...even in their perfect little [cliquey] 'communities... [ he soso soso hilariously has seen through, too...and he is so young and ultra perfect toy boy handsomeand agrees..his lens ..his profession...should try to say something REAL.... )
talk about a propitious timely kairos (what it means) ...
Long planned birthday present to self: get rid of (after nicely tidying away into dairies - maybe one day....nothing in my past do i get traumatised over ) every single message email 'contact' ...ever...
EVER...
ALL a waste of time.... none of it real, ever....
clean slate not that the mobile phone is as useful as a hunk of slate which would fell a bison - or at least a small one, from 50m if your aim was straight and true
JUst more arty stuff...but
Now, "absurdist" is... also never bothering to hashtag or stick ANY kind of cheat stuff into anything ever (only here) uploaded shared chucked onto youtube
Hence the most unviral channel ever... quite deliberately...
As absurdist poetical non-statement on how digital made evey one ..non... nonhuman... not abled...to be
Hence my own use is quite limited and MUST be super hurried no thinking as thinking needs to be saved for momentum moment
But really....
I dont actually look at any stats or any likes or anything
as the unused @ferretsarefun twitter states:
But remembering i uploaded one of the most poignant soulful WONDERFUL 50 year old babe performances ever.....lifted out of an equally wonderful youtube interview i saw some yerars ago and some numbty had taken it down not before i was ardroit enough to download... so not mine, but .... no hashtags or any posting anywhere ... 13 views...really...
Which merely is a ....
Problem is.... what a rare mildly fretful moment, nota dilemma.... i simply have no idea.... if i should bother.
18 June planning or rather the kairos moment came...
thoughtbubble: " itis so so so so...perfect...i awake with it in my ear and i know when i am at ultra peace always and ... its not 'breaking through' it merely is perfect....
...
....well i know for a fact ..... will agree if i say all this
stuff failed as she is a country lass... they tend not to lie or fake manifesting anything...a spade is a spade
But i am also a man of words or at least even age 20ish found the great real women...or at least the ones who maybe one could trust...
In the 'culture' too
And anyone who can prove god or some matrix exists by writing "fabricate redemptive boasts"
age 20 something - so i blame my Nestbeschmutzerin' habit on her...
isnt going to turn into anything inauthentic... as history proved
Anyway a dilemma wrapped up in a load of instagam sales vudu designed to sell herself to the cheapskates of Totness..... who singlehandedly ruined the river Wye.... in the persona of the very first of them....and her VERY expensive felt handbag...
How can....such a singer as truly soulful as...
The last month i ....yesteraft at the cliffs i even had her up against the greatest of them all, ever....
I think it is better than Maria.... and even Tammy...who is better than our joint goddess.... Minnie.... (in the paradise year of 2021 i discovered...in our interview) ... but...
Poor Serbian homoerotic warsong writers wouldnt know being stuck like all the poor Former Sovs in the Cold War...
There was only one form of music that really changed the world..... that makes you hot, always....
And i can never be bought, as The Mong - the male one, knows... i turned her down.... so often in 22 i taunted him...
I have never danced with ANY woman... not met one worth embarsassing myself with
Not even due chunky drunkedness when NYC one lonely Monday evening two maudlin chaps at the bar and in stumbles.... a rather tipsy chunk of ... the greatest soul singer ever who performs on stage for just me and him...
And as he couldnt stand...and anyway an English accent can endear you to anyone in yankland...
Anyway to the point... but it cannot be made: unless... she can listen, and actually ..oops that was 'she' in glittery star signage
"love... i have had you on for days and days now.... even the Queen - the real one...of soul, and heat...and always being in a good mood ... couldnt buy me or get me to dance with her or grope her....well i think there was a bit of that as we were both rather overfriendly.... but ive had you alternating with her.... and if we cut out the "honey wine" bullshit and straight-out-of-Totness embodied ferkin manifestin' "projection" ... and the whole of your instagram act to be pleasing to the cash o'Gwerk 'n the like......i know isnt even you.....
"What you have in there is purest sublime ...bittersweet life is shit and ...no one is in control regardless of how much your yoga mat costs.... and you dance like... well there is only one dancer...and only one soul singer and Sarah died despite Aretha ....
her song...our whole generation's then unknown little 45...
i found out
Just a few months ago... sort of poetic justice... (on her truly awful damaging Thatcherite cunt Master of The Universe old man..)
" ...i can tell... even the wank waffle on black mothers nothin' to do with you but a sales pitch to the Totty... who havent got any cash anyway...their healings all fake ... some do tell that truth.... you usually have it as the intro background..i know you know it is special and no not all musty have prizes... you know what finding that truly unique one in a million real ART songs is.... and it may not be deriguer with the tom tom Totties...who wouldn't even dare watch THE Queen of it very very unmasked and hot on stage in 2020 to make a point.... . but it's as good as... the soul in it.... i have been listening to alongside her.... and ..... but this Totty nonsense you spout is the EXACT antithetical Antonymous opposite of...what the best ever soul is for.... to make you want to live... "
In the can but i still dont know....
And hurrying along i shall make no sense but i know what mindfulness IS... discovering that something impossible - every single thing you know about humans proving real soul is impossible in Totness, is...
wrong.
To be cont. BUt i still cannot decide whether to...
now...in fact all these been in 'drafts' to free space for weeks, but...
A present to myself...held over for the day.
I do rather like symbolism and it doesnt matter if the story isnt yet told.
Anyway it is - the one that matters, new labour minister the other day " ehhh...ALL our rivers are polluted...not a few...not some....all.."
Well us grown ups knew that years ago...
And guess what it it is NOT just the " baddy water companies" ...it is the mermaids too - i forget is that a unisex term? especially as before the merms came along and made being 'green' all about ripping everyone off for dodgy snake oil (LOADS in the audio waffle about that, spat out like a good chest rub, gettin it off..) basically they copied the first wave..all men.. Paul Tom the first...25 ish years ago...
And basically it all was based around the (then) VERY expensive trendy new 'Bell Tent' ... and all mermaids neglect to actually "relate" fact... not only does selling fake cures or anything, corrupt the vendor's soul as much as piss off the silly customers though they darent say so as they 'bought in' to the con... 'skin in the game' as they say or...
In short expensive bell tents mean you have to rip folk off even more with dodgy courses cures and workshop retreats
And... 20 years ago (20th June 2004) ...at the party to " we are welcoming into the world our lovely new [rather large] bell tent" ...within which.. i met the first.... one. Of many...but you do..mean what you say, to a 6 year old...or... 'trauma' may ensue..
which sounds terribly chip-on-the-shoulder when in fact it is exact opposite in that i saw how... her illusions, self delusion, people pleasing ...angst and wrinkle causing absolute fairy talk ...had me fooled...... really did hurt her... and i know she will have died ...far far too young... And no one ever should suffer even a drop of earache blood, as all foolery is just because of being fooled...by someone befopre
Out of sequence, meaning one day there will be a metaphor in this, otherwise my occasional day-to-day workaday of no interest..
Not ot of sequence but so ridiculously incomplete
In fact about 7 years ago pondering the rest of life helpmeet ...
well, almost item 1: must get the actual zen of handwashing.. and i had a clunky old washing machine i managed to keep going for years but as of a decade ago just stopped using it ..simpler, much cheaper and far far more mindful to do almost all your smaller item after a bath o as one is bathing or with 'aste' hot water by hand off the woodburner...
item 2 for sure: must listen; "i have lived in best hotels in world in 20s even some of 30s... sorry love with the fanciest sprays in the world they couldnt replicate the other greatest smell - that of bedding dried in the fresh air ..not of a city
but i started to ponder a small film or just arty farty way of stating this without stating it as you arent alowed to tell people facts... maybe one day i shall manage the actual arty farty version i do have years of photos of handwashed laundry blowing in the ind...in far more beautiful hilly places than this wasteland
yet another intermittent fault my one ALWAYS dependable external keyboard gone...intermittent..first time in many years...
who actually speak the truth, is they are all on a bit of a busty bee
itinerary
Agenda only in 'goals' of km to tick off. And walking is never about that in my actual mindfully healing not that ii have anything to heal for many a year... and the 10% who love our joint observations... " and as for the EQUIPMENT... sunhat/Everest sunglasses... " they love it when we stop and riff about how much better it is to travel very very light and unequipped even if i always find something to 'leg pull'm( they dont have that in German either) ..in fact though obviously selective as my radar is superb and i notice walking sticks from 500m so generally only speak with the simpler lopers... it is nearer 25% ..
who agree
but theyre always off to their next basecamp (except him a few days ago how sad he hasnt meant what he said, yet)
Thing is... even if i know it will be almost impossible (having for years sat and meandered through as research their clearly failed 'therapies' and strategies... one day it would be good to try and fashion something that helps, because all these 'fashions'... what happens in life a grown up - or at least the 90 odd percent grown up enough to breed, discovers that sooner or later something happens... the shit hits (The Kushner principle is about the very end state of that, one day .. but i have to be incognito to tell the stories)... some tragedy or injustice or just ... life
And you spend years fretting over ones loss of 'lifestyle' - and it hurts... And when Labour fail to actually ...well thats another story, but downshifting isnt for most some lovely pleasure...it really hurts..
SO a great policy is from the start get used to needing almost nothing... it is simple sanity... and putting it that way sounds drôle and arrogant so i need to find Eckhartian mumbojumbo speak ways of being ACTUALLY of use; because one thing i know for sure, is a see very few people who have ANY actual inner happy poise and grace or just mean their smiles, always...
(this isnt as bad as i thought having been dreading a month sitting down with this horrid machine, and its ENDLESS intermittent faults... a movie on that soon, already made as parable fable and allegorical obvious fuckin comment on... not me, i am constant and mean what i say)
"simple stories" - even if patronising and arrogant, as i appreciate NO one in the SW really has the utterly zen in the moment here is no 'ego' as the hilly weather and no one around for miles couldn't give a shit even if Eckhart was your houseguest ...
THing is my whole last 20 years has been about so slowly - dot by dot... cutting back, getting it all down to the barest bones, so in fact one may have time and 'space' to firstly figure what REALLY is a pleasure - a real one... and what 'pleasures' from a past life (i am almost unique dropping out at 32 ...30 really...leaving Southern places with no cash in the bank, or profession to continue )
so 'simple' is in fact lifecentral to me...and must not be toyed with.
Absolutely decrying everything here... especially the fancy shops of silly 'wild swimming' hatwear (photos one day - i have made many a photo-study of... .. to be cont) and the endless Londonesque posing...
And a few hours later enforced walking the lanes" ohh poor you" started about 15 years ago... ehh poor them, as there is only one smell - that of freshly turned hay... that is always medical remedy to everything always...
So i gotta get some good words and my my i have been actually trying to research .. thesaurusate... even manifest in my own way which is based on unless you are fairly good momentum having to walk 50km a week at least, then the energy works...
But it's not really 'balance' - i have to wait...kairos-wait... this one key word is not yet here.
All i know is that it is so interesting to have been a year meandering and seeing the postures. The postures of what is in reality a non rural, not at ease in nature, people... i had no idea. But then there were clues... so fool, me
Having heard only once, "posture is political" - and being impressed, as a virgin into that way of putting it, i understand that it isn't quite that, it's something about everyone...
You don't much see in hill people of even The Marches - there there is not much choice if you mean 'be outdoors' as the best bits are a fairly long march up into the hills and back straight, eyes front, no mobile signal or fake 'friends' on Fakebook to fake a selfie-smile at, is more the norm...But that's for pondering, as i have been...
bloody problem... when i knew years ago all is 'connected' and dots are to join, when you quite deliberately reduce your screen use from not much at all, to almost none.... but like making video memos to augment the wandering audios, even with a great memory i lost my momentum, and course, and forget where i got to
Oh well how sad never mind
(i think she the finest kraut would get it: "part absurdist; in a sort of absurdist response to the earnest nonsense i have seen sadly EVERYone else lie through their good teeth about online suggesting they are happy, in balance, or know what on EARTH they want....i do as you saw.. just to remain with that good energy into great banter")
oops such a m3ess and now Oggle changed the system at my end all the habits are mucked up and the momentum needs to be rechoreographed and theres loads of these still in 'draft' now to find
Having been priced off of Yogi bags several years ago - just as when the Primrose Hill tealot took over the Hay breadshop 16 years ago _ i have a superb memory... and the Estianddad ryebread went up 30% overnight...
(to pay for, one day that will be shown: his atrocious music and fauxbohemian old man acting like a teenager, act... that suckered in the second glorious spring - 01... being all should have been 'reset' 2020 to year post-consumerism-zero ....well it was for me in many a dialog )
Methodically, starting from scratch. Something 'else' but all is connected.
Momentum, is the right word, but a rather dull one.
An afternoon, or at least a few hours (this place is no good) with the thesaurus, and oed - I only gave my OED login to one.... likely ignored.
But I understand that now - I can express what the 'London' energy-environment, here...is...and why and what it does.
But I cannot find a word more juicy and alive-sounding than momentum.
Which is absurd as it is what is the key to it all...
It is all very very simple: when in a need-to-walk mode, by dint of circumstances; a decent long enough walk so as to put some real pressure on the body, to get there.. regularly... then gradually on3e enters a different and best-ever mental mode. Way of body and mind being. Not state of grace, but ideal state of curiosity, and not taking anything to heart; rambling on. But rambling on into what next. Actually living that there is a next. Body and mind indivisible.
So for years the silly sportifs speak of 'endorphin' rush. Or similar. Categorically not that. Categorically - of a category of being that is different. And even more 'ideal' than a mode i found 8 or 9 years ago. One thing Missing.
One could say the antonym of the best of all kind of 'momentum' is the bleedin' motor vehicle.
Not only it denying us this fabulous mental mode by dint of needing to walk for our basic needs, a fair way, but the noise...and also the culture of the motor. All kinds, but especially the shiny new ugly varieties, and especially the shiny new expensive ugly varieties displayed as of superior 'aesthetics' ( maybe 1 in 10 last region, here a frankly dystopian one in 5..... ditto special number plates that cost the price of feeding a bottom-third malnourished child for a year or two......infact here 5x more of them - and you have to be pretty mentally malnourished to need a few show off letters a foot above the road......ergo ) . But i have no interest in 'here'.
If my Saint-Exupéry style audio riffing on no home, meandering nomadic just being wherever your woolly hat is.. and .. splendidly meandering with best purpose, which is when the good thinking happens.... stuff like what is 'morality' for... searching for better words... waffling the last few months in my great gently forward momentum state, they can be heard as not of here in any way. Never mind, how wonderful to have had more i
on-path longish chats with Europeans than other 'nations'... I hadn't for a moment thought that ever again really possible. And has proved almost everything...
Although in fact three or four years THE lament...summed it all up: Choosing thirty years ago to permanently be aside, in the wilds and moving away from the cities, suburbs, and everywhere populated (which was everywhere East of Craswall, Herefs, then...), THE "community", to appease, even if very few of them - 10% population density of The SW for example, was the local farmers. And THE one thing above all that was red rag to a bully farmer (due rural loneliness, most become, eventually, especially in middle age, - most of the women need to be 50km from Harvey's Nicks).., was gates left open.
And never wishing to upset anyone, as it wastes time and energy, and keep the 'vibrations' nice, making sure their gates were ALWAYS - that is always...closed, behind one, was simple fact of rural places number one.
But what happened? .. well it seemed to 'change' about 7 or 8 years ago..i remember exactly when: The 6 km between methen and the local evil empire of Coop who still overplasticate and starve due rural extremism in their prices (set to incomer pension pots of gold) ... had a 2 km track section, within which there were three important gates. To be ALWAYS closed.
Until... i guess, among other things when the earthmothers (mainly emigrees from the suburbs of the South even if they lie and pretend roots in the 'soil') no longer teach their kids the actual 'country code' rather focusing on the 'vibrations' in their playbook faerytails.. ...
Well, there's deeds and there's actions..
And as of 5 or 6 years ago the farmers owning the land that track went up - me often on my old bike, happily philosophising, and enjoying BEing in the nature...
Nope....all ruined, as any encounter with a farmer became an unpleasant angst ridden venting of his spleen...
Never mind that catch left open morning - one of many... at dawn hearing the sheep bleeting in the yard outside...
Her sheep.. my one fairly enjoyed rural friend, left...
The problem is, there is no telling even a good old wise one: " i can assure you raised on the land, it certainly wasnt me.. and sadly there is this gradual incoming of mainly unparented yoof who just cannot now manage that oldest code of the land... and a fair few of their parents too... lost in their phones, or angst or drug hazed... sorry... lets try and get them back on your land.."
BUt at that point, there was no point any more... as of course these ex city types think that they can "manifest" a real rural respect for the landowners land.. just by smiling like Buddha or by the right kind of hot yoga label on their bag or bumper...
One day that needs turning into an actual real Fable inside a parable...
It is rather unhappy though. As it is real..
Meanwhile back to actual 'rapture', joy, blissy reality:
A whole book could be written on speaking almost only with European walkers for three months - and the bulk are made up of (quite slim) Germans. ...
But my best by far lasterweekendbefore last ... Two teachers....
"thank you for such wonderful real open speakings... and you read real books, still - not some trendy opportunistic, 'indigenously' harping back to when in fact ....it was mainly backwards.. all this lot here go on aboput nonsense 'wisdom keeper's
. when in fact kids need loads of real real people parenting, based on NOW... but you two, there is hope in the world i guess..."
" so ehh... i know you get it... what is 'absurdist' in Krauten...?"
" but wow... how absolutely fascinating and a beautiful symbol of how hard it is....requiring PAblo Nerudas 'mamouth' hour speaking, before a conversation begins;;; to have any actual consistently reliable understanding between even people with the same viewpoints but some differences in their region ... i was thinking of words to share with you... foundations we can start with.... looking for simple key words we can use...but you DONT aqctually say 'KAfkaesque' in Germany ... hahh thats the perfect beautiful almost poetical proof of how hard it is to TRULY be one humanity..."
" you dont need ...healing.... they all seem to be obsessed with; they have for some years here had snake oil jamborees to perform ...something...to one another..
. all i know it doesnt work...someone needs to do a REAL study on this tsunami that has overtaken this land...i shall assay you on this soon"
And you are as cheeky as me as we are on the same page, as we knew first sentence...between us.
" anyway yes our environment...sorry to say it is just about massive overconsumption of especially synthetics and all the extra housing and building hasnt been factored in so as to improve the drains... but the REAl problem also is the environmentalISTS and then the whole range of opportunists who have also perverted the message that was really very simple... i mean even stupid environmentalISTS always seem to think THEY are exempt from the splendid mantras of even 50 years ago, use less... never mind as we all knew then too, as you still do, makeup is objectifying ... always...
Never mind the increase in bathroom products, especially necessary to clean off this muck... is so massively exponential.."
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