The psychology of simplest living, via my stories of many years truly simplest living. Real ones - not earnest or pious.
Ten years a landloper. Time to tell those tales, too.
Ralphschism.com My permanent one home online started 22 feb 2023.
Start at the beginning (first 'post' - click 'older posts' bottom right hand corner ). Themes are developed and then woven together - a series of regular essays. Some in handwriting; some audio/vid.
ONLY peaceful nice content here. 07958 5263eight1
but one matter of REALlife philosophy no anodyne little toe rag with his fancy 'smart thinking' pile of toilet paper clogging up Waterstones great big ball of superfat in that useless sewer
would ever dare to mutter:
If a woman.... says in front of her lass... not just with her finest gob but superbly bright burnin' eyes... as her lass did see and dash for the shades it was so supernovan
" i care about mine river, born ' n bred to"
errata 'our'
then unlike ( not my words sister Babs a yearago " ) "the utter emotional vandalism of yet another childless woman causing mayhem ...when nothing left to do but get older so they cant help it" ...
she will have meant what she said.... having total "bodily" said
what she meant
and will indeed be true "warrior"
sad but true real philosophy .....a love of KNOWINGS.....
facts
phew i can give up caring
even if i act
for the kids
i do i dont
20 years of that 99.999999% of English women just piss
something like this
behind your back
( but i have 3 in place tested who...dont)
i only rarely very rarely send something to someone else before you disloyal readers ... indeed only the second time ever
tons more to come
Righty ho
god i wish i had had the time and digitals to always chronicle:
How someones mate has his mate invite up his loser mates up from London
If female exempt from checkin' for pervyness, so in they breeze
(full photoshoot soon)
Days we spent gangs of us around large tables in their marquees - theyve always got some Rupertmate who gets marquees on the cheap so he says
caring the meeker kids would be part of the floatmaking gang of course
(even if long ago the London girls be it at Womad or (no i never went to) Glastonbury, one knew they couldnt look the kids paid for their busfare up by looking eye to eye into theirs...
they dont teach that bit of 'recovery'
at their Priory
But then have a few of us - the wholesome homespun
on hand just for that: actually caring about the kids you show off you're off at HAy workshopcaring about
Our table, Est dad and a couple of the less popular meeker
all day for days they put all their wariness into THEIR dragon, too
To be rolled out the evening of dragons in the town
(i forget what nonsense excuse made up myth
any nonsense fantasy Priorites only 'safe' on disreality
and made up 'hiraeth')
We saw our new little friends that night
of only one of the three dragons made to process
one little one the tears all down her dress
Her dragon.... left crumpled in a corner of Ruperts great big marquee
unloved, finished, but too much effort for Camilla
and her Kensington-on-Wye posse,
too much to ask, to recall each child
each dragon made,
and each word to each child about where each is in the precession
means plural; all their draggons.
I declare
on their trade,too
20/09/2008
i have a long memory
I bet their (f, plural, fluttering in from down South to be Missiah) victims dotoo
our seat
theres a whole book on that too
and where it's only one and only successor ended up
if only she would
(next audio inabit)
24/07/2008
my records are perfect
what was in here that day one day i will see again.
Even if i am writing the update
Their Vicissitudes
But theirs are so much more interesting, even if they're just a silly religion, too
Stick a few Glasto style flags up and they are automatically worthy, and thus don't need to do anything else to really guide the kids...
well he is... but is forever infantalised so could never be one, a real one...
Even if an even slightly scary autodidactish one...
I avoided for a few months him being a tad eccentric in my direction, stuck with a broken down tin can by histown three years ago
NOTHING worth ever even for one millisecond pondering as useful in histown...
Nothing, it is not possible... and even if there were anything, my only purpose, to get to Pastyland so as to... (not Bea continued)
Now that alone the 'struggle' with the worst ever fraud large charitable trust is soon going to be fully published every word...of their lies and deceit
i beat
("heres the trusts's credit card....abuse it as you will....but dont tell the BBC consumer affairs program please ... we wouldn't survive the flack" .. that one by Royal Charter... )
anyway that's Utterly most irrelevent even if fun. And the reality of this sceptic aisle.
He however... is what you will never see rit up in your dreadful 3rd sector lanyardheavy Guardian or Novara mee mee meedia...
The truth.
Of how each 'individual' is indeed one....
and why (substack waffle 6ish weeks ago on the third sector)
Not even Nigel and his wrecking crew will have one smallest chance of cutting the disability/ PIP / 'good' causes, bill...
Because someone who was a goody goody Uni prof, musicologist... all round superbly good 'egg'...
even 'beloved' in his 2k smalltown community
Even sharing the bed with the number one power .... and moral authority, in a whole region....
When asked " he ...you must know...has the most genius talent timing and act i have ever seen.... better than his [mymates] dreadful fake Stuart Lee... and a few days ago i sat with him, filmed [but its chunky and takes time.] ... therapising him all his nonsense about being coy and shy is fake, for you... so you can nown again fill his begging bowl...and be his paid friend.... he has a gift that only the greats have Cooke, Dud... Cleese evemn.... and he told my camera that he is aware he only has a few years to at last do what HE said he does want to do..... and is now able to..... all his demons are locked away and his longterm girlfriend agrees.... he has nothing to lose ... by attempting to become, what he is.... a genius... and get off these pesky cagelike benefits.... you need to help him, i can help.... so easy hes already said he wants it.... consistently.... forget the music, he can do thattoo... its his words...his simply unique spirit.... Mayall for now and he has something in the lacuna between his twitches that.... is god.... we both know dont exist .... and a reference of just slightest leg up now ..kairos time.... just being his driver around the village halls perhaps.. it makes me proud having tolerated his other act and now seeing the act isnt an act its pure and it is the real him.... with timing you and i could only pray for to some non existent sky faery.... and be left waiting til the end of time.... and never be gifted.... and the shy thing is an act ... he actually loves the camera i know we filmed the real him yesters..."
guess what, he's already pictured here a year or so back, the one tasked to save the poor and crippled and whatknot.... : to be cont, but you may realise by now there are patterns...
and the camera hasnt lied when i can get back to all that....
but proof soon.
Tomorrow by the grace of...no more interuptions!
(even if her the youngster, my ohh my perfect timing just when i had nothing to do.. all done....)
1 of 3...longer ones bringing you a real genius that you'll be paying a disability chunk for...til he dies...younger than he should because...
the fire inside has to be sheltered from itself sometimes and only one man could have done just that... but of course that would have been doing the task which all English goodies cannot fathom - how to put their needy above being .. their pet.. they look good, administering scraps to, and doing the actual job of enabling him to no longer be needful of the scraps..
the scrapchuckers with their lanyards.... get their pensions from, and thus.... of course don't understand that the purpose of being a goody in the 'community' ..is to put YOURSELF out of business....
bless errrr.... as like the Reithman, (to be filled in later - Socratic discussion around his fantasy version of future demos, i've been full time on the end of the chronicle for six weeks and its a miracle with so little battery) no hope....
All fantasy.
Unless 'love' is indeed defined.
And...off to the lions den.... knowing 'community' project number 1 utterly fated to be failure, not my business! i merely pass on the words of a true battleaxe
project longterm, 2 as if to jab me up the bum with a bishoprick
kairos just in time... there she is, for whom it will be created:
"An extremely well funded temple to ....critical thinking [that only the likes of Primo, Herbert Bates even if he's overlooked... Faith Bleasdale... Wendy P.... and the Rachels..... i need to know what influenced their finest finery .... and it will be replicated..... cloned.... .who knows they may even assist.... its just about the best booklist there has ever been...but thats part 2 later].... " ....
the definition of love.... if you know who is worthy of it.
Now, the only thing i care about is not to be thought 'fabulist' off with the faeries...
And thus will have to prove to such unthinkly numbty retrads that this is not so...
And when, not if but when, the latest fun crusade is indeed publicised....
There will be no doubt in even the lost-mind of the most internet sickened one..
But 'twas never the 'internet'.... the preciousness begqan i remeber the exact moment walking up Preciousstown the one that was WAY ahead of the ones round here .... 2002 thinking " my god it's become so precious here.."
But now as all i am interested in is tomorrow even if i have the most Monty Python meets Voltaire riding 100% on Mrs Mills' coattails...
And a load of Simone power, too, of late
And of late 'suffering' the worst gib in history, no suffering ever only silver linings as had that ferkin mad clearley all her dull life spoiled old Chret bag not kept to her "yea" being "yea" i would not have been at liberty to go to the next stage...
And at last i have her propper!
As 'shared' oppression' even if nobody oppresses me ever, is true glue
And either you fight it ALL the way...all the way.... or end up being burned inj the furnaces for glue somewhere down the line ..
(and there are NO 'enemies' as we meandered the hills Sateraft not even mentioning her former, hump... nope " i hate the regional snobbery sick to death of it petardate the fuckers" in ones inbox full noncon, text...is sublime..if you the measly meany, shamed by Mister Walker and his 100 Euros.... knew full context...you will soon... )
... the poor Greens never understood, there is no ,middle ground .... why their whole party became pondflife stck on the flimsiest raft of decaying plastic fake penises and quite inadequate 'sex' aids for a load of neurodiovergent (who cannot understand as was the case 13 years ago " ehh if every single littigant i help prepping for a truly life-event court thing wants to call their ex a 'narcissist' doesnt it all rather cancel itself out .... perhaps we should keep that word for poor Myra or the bad ones in Broadmmoor..." ) ... i met a new goddess yesterwalk " ehh every single 40 something yummy i have met for some years now claims neurodivergency and theyre so retarded themselves by just terrible culture so it aint their fault... they can't understand if ALL are neurodivergent for free council taxis and extra benefits or in the case of the slightly upper middle class, attention - something to talk about at the family BBQ and put themselves at the centre of the burning desire to MATTER! ..i mean you can't have ALL neurodivergent or it just becomes all are not as if everyone is its just the norm.... so its comedic...even if it matters as even the wonky ancient Greeks will have known if you tell a kid they are a princess and 'special' well you do end up with rather a lot of Caligulas perraps.... it never ends well, ever..... and whilst every retarded eejit of the bbc now parrots 'history doesnt repeat but does rhyme dont you know arent i clever one for being up with the trend sayin' that....'
some things are constant.
princessiness is almost always fatal and almost impossible to 'heal' ever...
and becomes grotesque as we can see from certain recent video events in respect of another actual one.... but they shouldv been Russified a century ago in any civilised MODERN society so pretend they were ... headless...and lets concentrate on the ones next door... a lot of them..
anyway where was i... my ohh my what a non Machiavellian pure phase of impossibly successful regrouping with a few in lead chariot
JUST! for future proof-to-you, and cv matters not that i have ever had a cv..
and with UTterly nothing ...and the bleakest month ever at midwinter guaranteed from mid December til now....
And living total DSM 5.3 every single conceivable risky factor for two decades....
it all results in the most plenished possible midwinter month
thing is oops this should be called ' Even the Northern Micks are takin the mick too...' with fake ' social' farms like the original Paul started 30 years ago and every private school ed St Trinnian traumatised lass wants to be a ' trustee' of
( we shall come back to the glorious real Saints soon..bow i have to tolerate the bad smell of unused equipment under their hems so as to get them to actually not piss on the actually pisspoor... the supremely dull but untold story of Dooneshire is who are they?... and i didnt know that all 150% of the 7% privately educated ended up hiding here... still not over the Trinnian trauma .. . of course the clue is that them fine Mr and Mrs Ridd did fail and the republicans lost . over time... them Trins are still stuck in that battle... in their heads
)
bow yes it occurred to me thister 530am...
just how many of them died very young .
and i know why: Grayling the prominent uk miral philosopher and Donsaid into my chronicle in person 2019 he had never heard of the one greatest European moder writer Bernhard ... real bookish folk are gradually admitting
.... but the even more Teapot tragedy is when fighting as usual with the arrogant Hubrite tribe...
" a propper library should be based on basically whatever caused Rachel Cusk to develop her fabulous critical thinking knowing all her schoolmates were off on one... however...a true non Teapot scholar knows that the sick Engliterate are so ill and iterate only Primo"s Death Cult one is ever spoken of as just as Paris and Berlin are not full mainly of hookers who have upgraded themselves to sweet little Domminixes ..
( 1995ish..ive always ben George Borrow " so what do most of your customers want.... straight sex ..?"
' dont be silly you pathetic normal cheapskate man...all these nursies and schoolgirl cosies in the closet arent for decoration you know they cost a lot!! nope the majority of my ex ovt school traumatised Trinniata dont even want trad sex they just want yo do something pervy with a costume involved .. most dont even spunk up its laughable..." )
being whist If This Is A Man is a glorious wise non judgemental ' record' of Primo's wisest calm soul just as Mister Oz's beautiful regular bloke next door books are a true record of when Israel was a dreamy truly intellectual avant garde artistish paradise ...
but keepin it Primo
nobody...nobody EVER in this whoop whoop only Mad psycho Cathy being abused and never mind gaslit by Heathcliffe is a book when
Other Peoples Trades
The Wrench
Periodical ( not a book about the steps towards perimenopause so of course Babes Hour wont be featuring it in that great big moan ALL my 10ish right hand babes over 55ish all agree is a sick madnes gone far too far and i have many recorded philosophical debates that arent as we all agree its a neurotic madness for MONEY ... all those ' conscious menopause' and 100s of other nonbooks
yes Primos superb comon man philosophical observation books of his meandering during his later work life having forgotten he was once ultimate ' victim' are ttue writing
not blaming anyone just wry observation about his fellow man . via true story
but nobody EVER has Even been nade to read them!
made ... as thyre better than any Woolfe babe or every single british amis barnes mckew and the other two just as forgettable and i have temporarily as all uk male lit for 40 years a weird pervy Hubric boys club
from whom one learns nothing
nope....
what a nation of only Teapot addicted philistines who still think they are yhe most erudite in the world.
laughable
Saturday, 17 January 2026
ralphschism exclusive not on youtube unless i remember later
warming even the free nanas
now You may assume i am nanas
but nobody has managed in five years to get the free nanas in here...
And i dont like snobs who were so shabby even their ex Oxford college thought they were off with the Narniacs so ....eased them on bless your ridiculous little projectionist ....soul
All Souls ... will get free bananas
or i shall ...
well is not me
i don't do 'causes' any more...i promised.
But i know who' winkin' down on us from her best ever neigh rather tragic ... failure, of a story
... to think..... she still matters, even now.... four centuries l8err
indeed 'twill be named after her.... they seem to almost wish she had never been extant...
i on the other hand know the power of a true story...
( liars " church attendance up quite a lot of percent" theyve been peddling several years... if you amortise out my use of them to steal their sparks to turn back on them ...They're even bless attendee and less worthy of their 11 billion in the bank...up from 6 in 2019... about the same multiplier as the amount of new testameners to lies and bourgeois meanness, us roofless... in the same 6 years ...
bbc factcheck recently clarified as total load of pants on fire .... )
now all i know is that since the worst dire new bearded and baldy 'philosophers' came along (every other nonword "narrative") from De Botty via Lawson and especially Gray, and we won't even bother with McGilchrist, there is no more any real useful what-next, philosophy and anyone who merely felt sorry for the private school uneducated knew their god Nietzsche was sort of groovy at times but often problematical
and the point of philosophy is that it does the 'work' on yourself - the bloody thinker of it, and causes consistency...
and i know NO good better than 50 odd years back philosophy ....that works
i know mine on the other hand, works
above all causes living consistently. To values. Be they Ayn Rand (they still all secretly love) or something more actually human. But at least Have some! none do...
Unlike clearly Whitehall's next philosopher king, Hilary Lawson who didn't even know of the public right of way going through his property (next to our peasant farmstead) others will have died fighting for, in real life - laying it down, and politically in days of yore, to have it exactly there for the common good...as the national database of common pathways the OS confirmed to even my then 7 year old lass....
well he did but denied it as thats what being at Oxford does to you: turn you into a hissy little princess
soon i shall list and even edit a bit so many wonderful long waffles on substack and landlope.com
Misha and his guests discuss the landmark work On Liberty by John Stuart Mill, published in 1859 and the increasing recognition for his wife Harriet Taylor Mill's contribution
I am better, especially now theres an angry little teamworker
"Anger is an energy"
as someone once needed to say
not me
i know the useful energy that is the exact opposite - harnessing all the nothings.
To be cont by going back soon into ..it.
friendly free substack audio
A friendly Pondcast on why all your so so so many "friends" cause an effect: you're as ineffective as pondlife. (part of the 'failure' series for The Queen of that)
Full time the last seven days on material for here...
and somebody else.
Out of the blue.
So just when it gets really exciting; i can't lie 'n charm. Fact.
Other fact: laptop charging routines have been fiddled with just a tad...
But back the right side of the curve tomorrowaft a rainy one ....
And all 'delay' is for a 'reason'; even if exactly the opposite of their usual positive energy nonsense version of 'fate'...
Nope.... she knows who the baddies are, too, at last.
one last fabulous pondcast on what THE problem really as been - it's about all of them youtoo nodoubt, who have so many 'friends' they can't ever be real friend to anyone never mind their local 'community' - cos that takes very very feisty realwoman hard battlaxes attit, work...has been in the can for a few days ..
A Big Siters Master-them, or rather past tense, i have, class on....
well, it's always the same "I can't"...cos of cant and vanity
except my will, be done....
As it's simply utilitarian obvious best bangs for bucks...
Right, later on failure.
But far better than my note to Mrs Famous Failure
And thistereve and all tomorrow the grand finale
ish
Socrates was right and wrong about "happiness".
It's a lot more complex than learning to be happy with less, but io have at last simplified it into something even some lost bimbish ...
(as someone who has never seen your vile 'Strictly' (nor any mainstream or any at all tv for 25 years) nor would want to be in the same room as what do they now endlessly go one about.... ehhh.. some program about lying..... deceiving ...two faces....) the bible will be recorded as it already is...on how to always beat their 'system'... they don't even know is the OS.... but a real aside-living, alive. yeoman....always did.
And now i can show all the proof....
for the whole next decade
And there are loadsa vid clips already up..... but this time there will be poise grace and fewer typos...
(just for fun whilst all is on lowbatt 'hold'
....blessim.... that's what religious parents do to you even 65 year on .... 'ocd' before it became a badge of honour..
then, really.... this really did start the heralding of of course if their whole aesthetic is wasting resources on fluttery flags even in an "eco park" by Hay...
one - a genuinely compromising person who knows it's making them all sick, will sometimes use as his lasse's party backdrop if it can be got for free....well...
but there's something in here then i wanted...and spent two now-years sucking up to, to get....
And only one woman also got my passion, in her fabulous NONelitist true temple to the book
THE BOSS: she alone was bright eyed " ferk that sounds stupendously good fun lets find it for you and get petardin' em .."
(later)
(girly bikes for blokes save TIME gettin' on and off)
anyway yes a parent who compromises on it ALL.... as one has to for them..
essay soon
our "zoo"
But i know who has truly a permanent 'sacred "wound"
blessem for they know not how they jab themselves 'pon their own petard
back to now-now just a few days ago and a week ago there were only two...
and now i really do know what it became (series soon)
a real man just makes do with their outcasts
even if its time to assist the "poor" (not my word as they aint no real pauper wastes gazillions on ugly non-ferrit tattoos, and all the rest of their mammoth of desperate look-at-me... especially plastic seastuff... ... series soon)
but then.... there is a sequence - he has to be thanked....
So, all i know is there are thousands, in fact hundreds of thousands, just like me - even me! five years ago thinking.....knowing! even if from late 2009 to spring 2013 over two minus twenty winters - the first so cold that it caught me on the hop even if i had a rather good excuse, rather enedtimes distracted, the old "farmers car" as they call the Peugeot 205 diesel - as bulletproof as they come, froze as i hadnt the cash to top up the antifreeze... and two months later when the permafrost unfrosted... the ferker started first turn of the key.
Even if other 'issues' made it no longer MOT viable...
Anyway even me five years ago fearing and a few nights bad stressin'...
Knowing, even if three earlier years went...well....
knowing: there's just no way i will even tolerate having to live in a tincanvan car or the like... gentrification or rather thievery
and skips of tenants' furniture funerary
pyres, all just the fires still inside her sad little Hemel Hempstead, frippery
cos she wasn't one of the girls that got the attention, you get if fully flouncey
So she comes and takes it out on all of Western Herefordshire - the 'most deprived' region of the Southerners regions...
Even if i was the ONLY one who never ever ever reacted in any way to her
thievery and weird ...infact even if a word i never use as one of their silly words that merely clouds time immemorial actions of the sad little footstamperatti
she is 'gaslight'
and loved to spill her aromatic oils over into a nicely preprepared bonfire ready to make it clear who is
'boss' even if the 5 grand personalised numberplate made that clear before she ever alighted
BUt only one person NEVER ever reacted to her ...ever...
other than as only Rachel Kushner second-sightedly knew,
you just wait..... and at some point down the line their sad little acts; in their mind great big bullygirl, oppressions..
well you peek a little sweet smelling glade through the fires of their tormented souls
(in her case claiming even her Hemmel Hampstead 1980s Snickers against VAT - i know as she left behind her accounts in s a skip did Skippy...... she probably got caught out with her knickers down and bossed around for legal reasons ... "tut tut tut, we won't prosecute THIS time but you're on notice!" and spends the rest of her life seeking revenge and as so many did from the mid 2000s - thats the one real pattern i saw, if you were a small cheese - one of those pathetic little plastic triangles of the stuff, relocate somewhere - especially The MArches, where there is no 'community' nor friendship (audio soon) to call out the fact that if you are now pretending you are a big fat cheese rolling down the hill and squashing all resistance with your not very cheesy actual tyranny that hurts real small people, then you end up the fattest fishie in a small pond... some people, not me, call that 'bullying' even if everyone else called her one of themtoo.... but nobody ever managed to use 'event's Kushneresque ... such as i had the world record arrears
of spinning an eviction out, one and a half years!!
(i mean this woman had a troupe of 'heavies'
that kind always do)
upon knowing i shall no way be able to survive the winter (2021)
for a week
as maybe hundreds of thousands have in the back of their mind
as i write this and as i have written the rest over three years
But every second has been not only purposeful
but now i Kushner-live, fabulously useful!
And as the most self contained person ever from the age of 12ish
-orphans are, especially when they have to hide their orphan credentials
I needed nothing. Never do.
But i knew
there's no way i am going to almost a lifetime later
wish every second could be lived again as so thrillingly actual 'mindful'
of stuff that's more than invaluable
Anyway there was one more word left to ponder, even if one i needed to forget
As its The Southerner way of merely gettin' their 'dopamine' hit
Even if they dress it up as something far more, 'elemental'ly
fundamental.
And my always at 0533 mind in peek new condition thisters
fair dinkum though i am worl expert at stripping out ALL revolting little apps and turning off ALL 'auto' play or think the vile little Al Gorey thing can know me....
as fake as so called green Al Gore whom upon some good day at the polls left his hundreds of bright houselights on all night... enough to require another ferkin windmill despoiling my lands just cos his mummy never taught him to pull the plug out before bedtime....
(as the chronicle states regarding ALL schoolteachers interviewed upon the Path laster year or so....ohh such fun... the best the actual bosslanyardcow - oops thats rude to cows that have some common good sense....
at her school, paid to be environmental bosslady who admitted she never bothered to MAKE the teachers tell the kids to turn off lights ever in fact even the watertaps in the bogs often left running for hours as she too fat to bother doing her...round.....she is paid to and has on her CV so as to brightly outshine the next applicant for yet another third sector conjob.... NIGE wouldnt dare go for as Nige is a baby never grew up neither...you need BATTLEAXES [f] on board for that as just with them Mullahs no point Jimmyin' ion outside punishment, 'sgotta come from next door...even if she is being hung drawn and quartered as we speak.... ..... )
anyway yes distracted by her smile somehow a youtube 'playlist' gets through my fine defences based on a whole life of RAlph teachin' me never ever ever trust any fool.... to know what's good
anyway SAndy come sack to mind via auto-chroincleate
i mean yes...but no you realise of course no Londoner can ever tell any truth they just project what sounds so Laurel Canyon cool and hip....even then. Even if Laurel wouldnt let them within 100 miles.... not hip enough basically one story of London how mean it is in its fakery
which is a kind of power .....
even if all fantasy dream
I don't waste a minimoment pondering as its only about what next
And anyway i didn't know til Terre Roache clearly ran out of cash and doin' the rounds i always thought they were from Amishlands the way they alone seem to have got the perfect wonkiness of a genuine bein' none nowhere, rural life in their sublimest songs about their hometown of NYC life bloody liars but still better than Sandy with her faked unphilosophical take on her life so short cos of her....
BUt the thing i must remember and will likely forget as they make you forget your real identity they suck your differentness out of you and try to turn you into a commission, selling you a job lot of Eckheart course material as you aren't them....
Anyway this is quite serious, and ten times better than any rubbish the alcoholic Alan Watts (they so so all love as of course they're in love with even more 'divinely' painful wounds he basically tells them all of life is just a wound that doesnt really exist as nothing really exists- video about that later ) ...
Thing is that weird equation of 'time speeding up' as you get older.... well yes....
but i have certainly discovered in the last 1/4 of a decade ....ehhh....no
In fact just a year of three supremely interesting gibbers i don't give a second thought to except for how they are amateurs compared to the three in the year before...
and all are irrelevant even if worthy of several operas CenterStage Glyndebourne ... and all are irrelevant as i only do the odd JOB only ever to attempt to leave interestingish things behind in writing i may get to one day - well in a more elegant way
But that equation how does one even put it?
even if gibbed by her and at least 500 of them listens mine....
you have to beat them.... as they all die young or wanly age far sooner than they should
Thing is in 1/4 decade in a vile so polluted so hateful place and that's not just her little fakeplace..
(in fact basically as shabby as a Laurel Canyon too pretentious to live in Foulmouth full of obviously dangerous loons up the coast..... and as we knew the real worse loons ended up doin another first Charlie there.... [ i mustnt forget the one whom tried to metoo Polanski a truly useful genius with his Pianist as of course she had no real talent so thought she may get some clicks via him... when surely he'd had enough for a lifetime and her 'evidence' was her friend a drunk from Kensington...but that's HAy for you..a long time ago...].... yes it wouldn't surprise me one day to turn on the wireless to hear of some berserk person goin'
berserk there.... especially as i saw several bein' half berserk at breakfast time in front of their own kids on Gweek common....)
Anyway not that irrelevant incident or so in a place of no interest.... as grown ups saw through performative bohemianism by trustifarian boys and girls... like.... 20 years ago....as they invaded wealthy West Herefs on daddy's cash - there the mother usually was kept in the coal cellar if she was lucky...
thing is in the most boring place on the whole planet,
(and me not subject to tourist lies and sad little incomers who dont want to clean tourist's toilets to pay her rent , so lie about how lovely their 'community' is...i see through before i've even ventured there )
it's well understood when life is so ridiculously boring and utterly good for nothing meaningful at all just a waste of 1/4 a decade on standby like a fool...
" ohh moan moan who knows where the time goes it feels like i came here just yesterday.... 1/4 decade ago"
but the way to beat them, unintendedly, the most empty hollow echochambers of the whole planet - The generally ex Londonish incame Horatio and his drug dealin' brother who we wont talk about unless he does a MAnsontoo.... and she set up a yurt hire operation ONLY wanting to get a council grant from them, when theyve run out of funday ideas to 'bond' their teams bonded to their compulsory waterbottles and lanyards, to set them up for a day in the local noisy park 200m from the A30, so they can pretend they bonded in 'nature' too...
(ohh i havent even started wait til we get to 'retreats' Monty would say Id rather be ina pit of hungry Pythons quieter than this ripoff 'sanctuary'...)
anyway ... thing is all everyone wants to do is live longer or FEEL like they have at least....
and 1/4 decade of nothing but (oops 99.9%) charades facades two faces and rip off wage thieves...
nobody has read a good book...( except the first sexy librarian but she squashed by the hidden total dinosaur a-woman-her-does-the-shoppin-me-i-do-nowtbutwatchtv... as she told meabout her hubby and he's not even born PAsty but becoming Pasty well that dinosaurory becomes 'licensed' )
thing is....even three months ago seems like thirty years ago my utterly empty nonlife in the worst place in the world.... is weirdly so absurdly cup overfloweth.... time has not just slowed down its almost stopped....
but of course it hasnt
and the equation always was that life and 'time', it seems longer if you have a VERY very fullest daily existence...
thanks to the lord who ain't divine and certainly doesn't exist the way they sexistly say 'he' does, as for now all it is is a ferrit...
who helps me when i start writing! i near forgot the pattern
So, as i don't ponder but allow things to precipitate when they will, yes near 20 years, but especially 7 years of the landowners going wonky; all that " yes wow great stage one of THE JOB" - tending to their rotten wood, and without any obvious cause and effect they spin out of control get all weird and then just like that cancel... when i know full well they really did want their job doing...and probably had some money left after their hidden alcoholism or Xanax addiction to pay for it to continue....
why?
And I always knew what the pattern was but having a truly lovely few days even if hard work (i told my fave librarian she 'won' yesters) reviewing or beginning to ten years of chronicle with all sorts of bits of fantastic aides to a fabulous memory - most pictures taken so i can locate the audio that was being recorded at the time so it will take a lot longer, yes the pattern is so obvious: if one is as a true fringeland rural person of the land must be, always, and was taught well by oldman mentor Ralph, always methodical...always. No matter what or which psychodrama they are addicted to around you, you tune them out and forward plan THE JOB in your head even when off paid duty so they are in fact getting you at about 2/3 of minimum wage as their job inhabits your head even when not being paid to do it, or getting ripped off for the last chunk of wages so often they need to as they need to... live in their psychodramas, yes methodical means that irrespective of the waffle they're waffling to fill in the time between their next pill or drink or session sat all day watching their telly any good rural worker battling the weather and aas always wanting best bang for buck, meaning a great job at reduced cost one thinks ahead such as ponder how one may get wood as dry as possible before creosoting or the necessary two coats of thick bitumern if a gatepost - the way gatesposts just rot away within a few years nowadays as they are designed to, when ye olde gateposts lasted thirty or forty
anyway just drying wood properly in the sun may require considerable guile plotting where to put them out to dry getting best sun and how to quickly put them under shelter ikf there was a rainy one..
etc
a constant tangoish dance and flow of real actual energy to harness that solar energy as if one paints creosote onto dam wood its far less penetrative
And then the tools getting out what you need, and knowing what you will need again the next day and leaving them out close to the job or its some neurotic palaver just to restart the next day and you have some madman or woman who cant be bothered to do their job themselves making comments about leaving her tools out when its her ferkin wages you are saving and anyway you are way up in the hills and youve already checked for dodgy dogs off leads that may take a hammer to play in the yonder field...
Anyway yes methodical ... pride is an awful word and always was the end of sane society but one does have a certain amount of it when figuring that the application of that days methodical plotting saved her money and also gets the long job done just a tad more quickly...
the4 only true pleasure for some years...
now this is a real life version i am afraid of one of my few hero's Primo Levi's books like Other Peoples Trades where he taught us by making gently wry observations of others he would encounter as he travelled far and wide on his jobs.... (oh yes of course that's the other thing they HATE..i mean really really hatefully decry in you) if they see a few intellectualish real novels out on your dashboard that arent some murder mystery or KAtie FForde bimbo towers thing... so one should always leave visible - they will spy! a Turgenev... or even better a Yevgenia Ginsburg which has the added bucvketful of glass splinters chucked into their safe spaciness factor of "yes a peasant woman Russian who survived many years in Stalin's gulags ALSO wrote the best book ever on persisting a gulag and finding the silver linings and a far deeper humanity via her real life experiences...... " when all they can do is be addicted to breakfast reality tv or moaning...
that will cement the hilarious opprobrium which initially was based upon their utter hate of ones methodical approach to their job... it will cement it, as usual with that useful product, that they could have mixed and laid themselves in the base of the wobbly post... turning their disdain at someone methodical ... often reorganising their chaotic toolshed on day one of a new JOB, so as to be more efficient in the rest of THE JOB.... which of course they whine at and know immediately this is being done on THEIR time and money!! how dare he....
never ever actually later admitting that the methodical requirement on day one to organise the tools for simplest efficient access the rest of the days on their JOB.... actually saved them money - i.e. my time working on their job... methodically
And therein lies another 'equation' (there are a few discovered mid waffle in the audio series ) a ruralJOBperson must be methodical - especially when as usual there are no helpers ever to even help keep posts upright when cementing them as all the women ran away to live nearer Harvey's Nicks... or emotionally blackmail you they are Mother Theresa working every hour god gave ion 'care' when if they did care for their oldfolk they are paid to care for they would wheel them out into the sunshine ...(they never do i have DOZENS of audio and film explorations of this fact over a decade ) or not forcefeed them cake so as to remain as fat as they almost always are when even the BBC knew sugar was amn actual pukka poison 35 years ago...
so the amount of being methodical is a constant for all my adult life in fact despite being a bit wonky as a teen thentoo as it was fully taught by loving old man without a CRB check...
my methodicality [the constant] x their level of chaos [or if less than average their level of inner guilt or angst at a VERY useless meaningless life] = the amount of wages ripped off,or false promises of future work that never transpires
.....which is a breach of contract in any faith
but espesh so called Chriostian... but then as many also went 'pagan' as that became trendy 15 years ago, and latterly shamaniacas that followed a meaningless word that the romans used merely to describe the not-cives who lived in the countryside, no voodoo intended... i hope the hexes get stuck in their crossbows and hurt their fingers when they backfire...
Now..it has to be confessed slightly buoyed on by a smiley librarian two days indoors a lot tolerated... and its time to drip-drip Chinese torture start to get really into the chronicle and for all those addicted to the 'dopamine' of it must be about NOW! or its no good i shall mix in things from the very recent past.... that are still ongoing...
and thus still 'live' issues....
sdo as my Youtube stalkers know (its astounding some literally are onto anything new i upload within seconds i do not exagerate.. the 'views' thing does work i know as sometimes i try to lure in the lost one with a fun video set to private only she can see it as only she knows of it and it remains mercilessly unviewed...) anything can pop up ...
but my real genuine lament is ONLY that so few listen to the substack audios... infact i dont really 'get' it. why bother putting your mean noses in here so often where you arent getting anything other than the quick version usually splurged at superfast rates as laptops being typed drain battery far faster than audios being on for hours and all sorts of naughty lines may even be crossed in the audio format... where one has time to truly surf a creative wave os something i know not what but i almost never put on pause as my recorder is so buggered its a longer job to put on pause than if ever absolutely necessary bleep some guest appearance i natter to as i am recording them....
anyway ... even if images can't yet be sorted for the best image of a series as that takes too much time, too...
and anyway images are auides memoirs to come back to films or audios made concurrently
2020
a whole series on this over half a decade first a small shoot of a new sapling that had come from the old tunk blahh blahh...
captured over all seasons as i would walk past it most days at the lasterregion..
ohh yes wonderful...now this will be part of a major retrospective... (subseq uent ones far more revealing and carefully taken) of a British famous landlord woman who has a large holding and even revved up the whole operation to get GOVCASH as an ECO place...
who had for many years a delightful habit of burning close to her tennants homes all sorts of quite reusable furniture...all sorts of plastic and rubber tyres... and even their furniture when she had promised it was ok in storage for a short time after keys returned ... this all in my Woodlanders spot where there was so much unused and empty storage its daft so 'twasn't an issue...
nope mere performastive RAchmanism to allay her...very very troubled soul...
i so enjoyed over the years exploring....
but then it was so so much more interesting spring '21 when i am hired to fix up a totally destroyed and glass strewn large walled plot of land she hired out as allotments ... nobody else had even picked up one slither of glass for years (a countryman can tell) ... and i think was it four chunks of wages - sort of a week at a time...(blazing sun, no hat, no knee protectors some Londoner would think are mandatory just for weeding a path, kneeling down half the day just in shorts going through the stone looking for all the junky's glass..) and my 'protection' device has recorded every " well done ok i didnt think that area could ever be used again i see all the glass is gone ...
[hmm well as i write good job SHE didnt answer my note MS Bolivia... i saw her stop at the side of the road ands STEAL someones flowers off the bush aside the road thats what a 4 ring does to your moral fibre i guess..]
... anyway she knew i was a 'rights' fighter i know she used to Google stalk me poor old hag.... what a waste of a life...
but the performative grand finale even surprised me the way the last 3ish days ... she 'forgot' to pay....
(these things my treble backed up chronicle never forgets even if i NEVER need to return to it...its a splendid way to weirdly bolster your memory infact to know the real full true version is recorded day in and out....)
not my furniture THAT time (but only fools sue or get em arrested for crtiminal damage there's no art in that...nor justice...justice is only by making something ugly, beautiful.... i will be spending the rest of my last third of life upon.... i won!)
anyway
202 the year of Lord is a ferrit and a happy one too the amount of new exploring all my lasterregion hidden pathways and streams and riverbanks...
back tyhere soon
ahhhahhh but a new self pitying lanyardist we saw arrived in town...well high up on my hill ... " it represents my successful fight against decades of depression even if a still get it most of the time"
(later)
ehh ...along the lines of so in this extremely wild remote place you want us all to be reminded of your failure to grow up .... funny thing is it took some doing to get it all the way up here to show off your pain and suffering.... when i had genuine real '
depression in my early twenties i couldnt have lifted a hammer to numb my own inner pain in the neck...at people like you.... who must show off everything when there is a line... the common good... is to be left JUST with nature in some places..."
right so interesting looks so inauspicious an extremely controlly chained off ultra manicured little plot along one of my otherwise wild byways... i had no idea that he was one of the 97% who went to live in the SW ....
ahh hahhh more soon
back to Madam Environmental grant recipient....
this large pile of wood whilst in a sublime old rotting old estate only peasants inhabiting for 100 years various caves and huts...
she knew many were 'fuel povertied' and all had woodburners...
but fascists can't of course add two plus two
two of thousands but they must be beautiful one day soonish
one of thousands just representing 2020 total bliss
but, one of thousands representing or rather being within something else: so interesting.... May 2020 .. endless sunshine for weeks..
living in a region (15 peeps per sq km as against 125ish all the SW) with lots of nothing.... loads of rundown little hamlets a few houses even more rundown due alcohol or wars over who owns them....
one small village Staunton-on_Arrow ... of sort of entirely incomers fgairly elderly
You are cycling for many km not a car or even tractor in the lanes...
paradise
" but hark what is that racket ahead sounds like a swarm of very very fierce large Beas.... ?!?"
literally the whole village had gone into daily lawnmowering obsessive compulsive disorder ... " we will not be beaten by this little bug!! as long as all our lawns look like Wimbledon even if the blighters will cancel that too blighters how dare they.... it represents that we beat it..in the trenches too.."
But this isn't in PAstyshire where its ONLY about showing off... this is in almost the middle of nowhere..
There's a real Turner just in all my video and film and audio of course of that... sickness.
Ahh yes in the same village my my the way their curtains twitched.... a film photo series of that too..
MORE CLIPS TP PUT IN AT SOME TIME LATER indeed such a quicjk first clipgrab of thousands i know the far better ones yet to even find
but this for now will be the perraps more urgent matter to attempt to make it philosophical - i mean 'living philosophy'
about real life... then... and i know its nowtoo...as nowt has changed it just got worse...so i got even more creatively thrilled bigsmile
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