Sleepless, in

 now... an actual "human"

I don't know what to call my ideology...

Though Esteemist, the real version, as discovered, on the hoof

(actually on the hoof - i awake EVERY dawn  knowing full well 100% no point ever muttering a word to anyone or about anything as this land went very very somatic.... the true 'toxic' version, yonks ago... as the wonderful BAbbsScot knows too....she is such a loyal 'subject'.... out with a  top opera singer lastereve i hear over the wires...[randomly, we have NO aforethought ever, we just...accpet 100% ...all] 

I need one!

substack audio if needing to fall asleep on the beech to someone other than

Psychadelix Sam....

its even more boring and monotone

But what a discovery that required real philosophy

(as i tell them all " love one who can't get back in, yet, or at leasted committedto.... but that doesnt mean i dont keep in  practice by proposing a marriage of pasportal convenience to at least three Germans a day... "      and they ALWAYS smile and want to know why, and more.... so i tease them their neighbour Thommy the Austrian sorry was a bit better than Herman ....  and Pilcher indeed still exists in the absurd sports car drivin' 45 year old 'birds' you see a lot of down here....  born in London as Mummy didn' actually trust the whorespittals at her holday home    poshbirdy lands stolen from the fine 'soft' Cornish indigenouses..i know a few! ... bough on Babcock or L'Oreal share cash....in the family trust for decades....  but lies she is 'from' here as it sounds good on radio 4 chan...and my my she has the ultimate look, and a MArks and Spencers Foodhalls jute bag that has edges as icicle sharp as her  radar for ever bein' though of not.... siuperior.... behind Ascot hat and of course always perfect better-than- Sophia Lorenish shades - shading the eyes of a REAL woman who desrved to play with us through them ) 

The big plop .. that got cut off in my prime

https://open.substack.com/pub/ralphschism/p/the-big-plop-that-got-cut-off-in?r=2jdt8a&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

actually has random encounter with the only unfriendly humpoourless Kraut even if i got a free sugar toxic bun off her...

But i wondered.... "why?" .. have i met the only one  in period pain..? or ...

Then it dawned... thirty years here, of course.... 

That's what thirty years here does, To even the most wonderful balanced deep never-take-it-to heart.. 'race'...

(as i always stick in line 5 of my standard make-Eu 'FRIENDS' - thats the real version not FAkebook one all vudu addicted Fs think they have via the dopamine..: " my wandering around your lands in the 80s and 90s.... i always fiound a young German beardy at a cafe was THE most civilised progressed person on the planet....MATURE... seemed at least a decade older than his British contemporary....  real books, real learning and of course the biggie you are a society who learned from past mistakes... " the man who had walked up from Kenya yesteraft knew i spoke true he loved, his, and agreed... 

" mate you got off at the RIGHT stop... and shut up lassie about your 'far right' problem.... thats just Former Sovs adjustin'.. real change maybe takes 50 years anyway they'll only ever get 30% as Marine found out....

just pretend they dont exist, in this century...  you are the perfect picture of only beautiful modernity... ")

SO yes its tragic.but i needed to know....

(and the rest can be heard, too, soon, compare and contrast, fine funny Germans here visiitin' and those stuck here 30 years hardly gota  smile out of her...now i understand) . thirty years .... and if anything i am genius at chattin' up krauts i mean world class... they have this little lookj at the end of sentence 2 .. but by 3 1/2 they melt with real fellowship and solidarity..  but not her my my what a heffagrump...

i wonder if 10 years does the same... possibly..)

Anyway all i know... 

A woman in 2010 called me a "genius"  - this was entirely wrong.

You would have to know the 'class' aspects to understand. 

And is a magnificent work of art in a book when i leave this land...

 as she never read books, but wrote truly shit vudu ones

to her any actual sitting there with a bit o lit is intimidating

especially if you are as so many sad English were very abused as a child in underclassville

 except...i dont think it WAS actually 'dad'...

But what class based words mean is if you have stolen thieved lied all the way to half a mil in your pocketbook

and i admire the survivor and recreation aspect

amazing actress

especially on 'the' stange....

what it means is you are a genius AND i will destroy you 

failed.

indeed did the opposite, in many artful ways... my art i mean.

Same sad one also said " you are a walking work of performance art"

definately 100% wrong. 

As when one is witha  beloved child one actually cares for dawn til dusk it is no performance

Merely something she had never seen before in her boho bad artist boyfriend'ssss. whole fake boho world.

But it wasn't just that.

I only care about potentially EQUAL "birds" guess not possible to find here...

Even if FS...

BUt the class...aspect

I am a faraid they never tauught her at how0-to-sppeak posh class... 

infact if they had electrocuted her within a smoking wire of her death she still wouldnt have been able to understand

once even the yanks could play with words so simply

perefectly

NOT tellin you what to think....

Its the utter gorgeous  ' what the fuck does that mean... bit on drugs but in fact actual poetry' 

 of i need you more than want you but want you for all time...

No 'lower' class Brritolite could begin to word wrap like that ... 

its just the way it is

i guess 'esteem'.. they have to TRY to hard

(to get the bling

poor things brainwashed is the only way to compete

with her, yesteraft no more prerfect an example

Anyway all i know one calling

would be to set up a bolstering school

Because i did meet her i KNOW she wasnt a selkie witch in the best witch cosie EVER at the most romantic conceivable setting ever in the universe...

In her stella way... here thirty years too... she had

broken through

 she could play with words too..

indeed fold them in and out of maybe meaning

like the Northern Lights on a perefect stella 

dawn

and sleepytime

too

 right all i know is that if you DO 'believe'

when yestearmorn i awoke at 4 .. " fuck too early biut get on with what needs to be done"

and thistermorn after 9 hours once again

 heaven returns as if you never left.

oops cant see screen - i always write in the sun when it is out...

you'll have to figure the typos

me i got better things to do...

especially  when fully Sleep made up

i make nothing up yes thats the real interesting bit to come

" genius" nope... no way!

'performance artist'...nope... except.....  

one day it became necessary despite every atom of my inner stardust HATING all acting in every way

bit the 'common good'  means

you learn NOT to be yourself

if that self wouldn't do

Dawn..ing

New ones every day

 I wonder if that concept is in Former Sovlit 

Brainwashed that 'indigenous' buckets of vomiting juice are...

the key to Huxleys soma

the coll "bird" kind

(i haven't even started yet the art montage to begin. first draft... 

But it starts 2016....  the man meant to be in charge of Labour votes

a true swinger region in a sate

just pranced around in his cowboy hat, too...

i saw him one day late 2019.... " mate ... they voted, for more soma... thats all ")

here - PICTURES SOON

 they use 'soma'

 as advert for the latest mindfulness workshop retreat  self introspecting load of self infecting nonsense...when they should be out kickin SAS's arsed well go and clean up... the COUNCILS and business men developers... face to face

thats REAL hard bucket 'n mop  work...

takes years, too

I never near auto pavement pissed seein  workshoppery called 'Soma'

They are so thick.... 

Huxley used it to describe how.. the slaves suppin' it get basically eaten by the overlords

Larger houseboats at bigman end of Hatesville Creek

But thats irrelevent the fact that the man who was kindof in charge of more

'progressive' [ the good type] thought, my past region.... 70+ too

though they all try and look 53

 and mentoring youngsters  blahh di blah

didn't even know what the word 'Soma' meant

I pity the poor immigrant

Sold a pup

Got the wrong directions

Information

 anyway irrelevant they got drowned in the soma too i guess

10+ years here, you lose all previously fine mand and straight back

But i was wonderin'

One of my many 'road trip' pilgremages

road movies

I got paid...

To go and spend a week in his home town

" wow i am in the place where the greatest art ever made seeped out of the polluted streams and ... well maybe gas ovens too..."

 But Katovice poor man of Europe " the most polluted place on the planet"

Very sorrowful stuff..

But i wonder (i just want to get paid to go to the EU and digitally Nomad.... Croatia the cheapest way in...)

 

Poland really did fuck up their lands too.... in some places.... and of course one just knows as we know NOTHING about Former sov places so we just KNOW...

Molodva Croatia et cet err ahhhh...

Compare and contrast: the luvvies of this unloved Kingdom by every measure utterly screwed every river and even beach

(as the luvvies had the power)

I wonder if the former Sov places have done just as awfully?

The true version?

Which needs art about it, too....

To be cont

SOMA next

I am not a prejudiced creep Peter JA Chapman true art guru genius paid to be by Foulmouth pretend Uni

mentor to their young

crystal clear

(many hours recorded filmed)

"There is not one piece of art in this whole land especially this county

worth its weight in 

plastic

especially that bloke whos PR expert wife jacks the price of his up to thirty grand a pop....

utter heartless banality" not my words, his.... and the look on his face as proper expert artiste/critique...was pricesless)

'Parochial' ..great word for any Former Sovs

 ...who cannot listen as they are brainwashed that the 'English' they learned at class is English

As explained so many times to the KenyanGerman " nohhh...it is harder much harder than Kraut... so many words are PERFORMED in different ways .. you have essentially several extra declensions  in actual English in England...  words  - meaning in REAL life are  changed by the class, the type of TV or even music people consume....  the nuance .. but then add in [excepting PAstyshire...and all the South East...oops thats a joke as they are one and the same and dont dare DO real humour as it wastes time sussing out if you can PROFIT from knowing someone]  humour,  which is so treble entendre tricky...

plus bluehairism they ban anything except talking about the latest weight loss pills... and how to keep their kids out of the sunshine...  

 what parochial means when you also factor in  the tragic reality that the interweb of lies and deceit cannot be univented... and people [ not me thank you] 'express themselves via bimbo platforming...

is that  people will ASSUME " s/he is writing about ME and my locality.." immediately, when 2 years of context via true text ..

In fact it is a kind of ignoro-narcissism i guess... the default to " he MUST mean me.." 

When i have no interest whatsoever in anything anywhere prior 6 Juin 2023

And ten years of far more two dimensional people to put into actual art+ writingly storytelling

Back to the dance. All i actually care about. When one is in a minority of being a REAL dancer

Not a dilettante ...coquette..

Dancing the tightrope between REAL life and DEATH

Up above the High Moautans of Serbia 

or Portugal

or the big propper Alpine ones..

one missplaced finger movement, in the dark hail smashing against the screen

[the noise is quite extraordinary] 

one must BALANCE

 black Serbian rocket fuel coffee, 

A Sobrane ... i jest what were the posh fags called?

Nope three of the ordinary ones 

to keep oneself 'awake'  

through hours of lashings and  the British were famous in Europe in the 80s and 90s

for having the  worst maintained aircraft

I mean it!

Euro pilots wouldnt be seen dead without a service and fix it all every few weeks

British lighter planes big ones too

famous for ...

" for the English to see" as the Portuguese would say

 Look spick and span on the outside

you really dont want to know what's under the paint

Anyway dancin/... 

broken really fucked up aircrafts

(fair dinkum that teaches you to think in 4 dimensions..McGilchrist doesnt know abiut the other two hemispheres not around the back of his fatman scotch bottle)

coffe fags ...   Italian air traffic controlers..

and the continual tweek that switch turn that knob

(thats what you tell the passengers as you are gazing out over the alps mentally merely writin' poetry)

But sometimes... maybe 5% ..

my my you have to tango for your very lifeblood

Just like small space livin'

vanllife the real version is wonderful

and still in raining

"ok when i go back  to get my tirch i FAILED to remebemr to bring forad'...what else do i need for later on if i get it now i save  bodily energy.... perfect poise and grace

required to get through the day.... without starvin'

so so so much time spent on even those former Sov

starlin[g]s...

lost flocks of nothin

sad  because if any could have been, they had it in em to be REALLY something

(thats what the best man i ever knew said,  mate of Stalin

when he was four albeit

Turkey shootin yanks in NAm

Lost his Leg at The PAss...

A REAL writer working for TAss..

livin'  uk half the time 

" if only they knew.... WE put the first woman in space!! 

not because we wished to patronise or  save face

nope because we knew ...in fact we didnt even think who were OUR EQUALS

it never came up... as they were born, so..."

 so, The 'dance'..

When you spent eighteen years in a 'mode' - that's all life is, modes...  whereby every smallest tension to any number of thousands of sinews or whatever silly words all the " sports injury specialists" of the SW  - my my they can't be very good at doin' sport without gettin' injured... all those injuries (that pay for the very poshest vans 'n signage..) 

I mean to say 'minorities' 

(lovely Kenyan man met at my office yesteraft and his German wifey.. " my my matey you really did get lucky" ...  let me tell you about the rural areas at BREXIT where there are one in a million " it'll keep the blacks out at least" i am serious every single male farmer man for ten years me meandering thats the third line of what they said... into my chronicling machine now art...well i like farmers or did.. but an audio collage of that reality of this ....yes its pretty polluted here despite looking like PARADISE.."....  wanna know why... well Surfers Agasinst sewereage really are total marketing geniuses, gurus, godlike figures.... for developing an image and stickers and posters....to lure in the English upper middle class bored women to their beach parties.... and be TOLD by them how wonderful they are...as every single on  - they own here.. is so vacuous they cant even see the shit in the sea or listen to the radio three

news that regulary intersperses Chopin with news of the poos

but its NOT the poo... they especially i mean look at that one there, 

here we are middle of NOwhere...to see her perfectly presented performed poster woman for L'Oreal ohh yes they 

Bought out Roddick and ...  invented soap 

made from  probably even a few Moldovans who didnt want to hide their fabulous hook noses...

anyway 30 years ago i saw through the English woman and i am still waiting for someone to make FINE fine art about

here and now

But S A S...  well.... it really is the perfect disguise...   the ad men would be  should hire them..

to also DO nothing... whilst performing they are everything..

As Little Camilla or Nerissa or whatever  name was in Vogue 

In Harpers or ... demand is the truth as if on the hair trigger

of their daddy's Purdies...

That are the real effect and cause around here... up the 'food' chain

so to speak...

  ...   ) ... minorities...not

ehhm yes... the so so few of us in rural regions for 25+ uyears who speak out

And are in REAL danger of getting headlights smashed or a Purdey in the face

But then an even more exclusive one...

( Former Soviets  ten a penny,  one thing really sums up the illiterate English is they often say " you have a thing for women from over there" ... ehhm ... of course as they cannot think in three dimensions it wouldn't occur: actually it was ANYwhere but here initially...  " first woman i meet and think is ok  from ANYwhere else but here... its oven time...  BECAUSE...   "  

or "French and Spanish and several Portuguese were always my preferred  destination but especially the former two as soon as from around ... ninety two... maybe five...  they got UK telly, too and they really did believe the PROPOGANDA that England is at least 50% homo

rather than the actual stats something like  two to two and a bit

and most are just phases,  or would be 

if not for confected zealotry

ask Tom Robinsons kids.

.... so of course they're not quite  trusting of some English chappie... if he will be My Mister for keeps

(Edward ST Aubyn i think really did 'do' it for the Englishman

up his bum ..was it grandad... i am sure it - his superb art though writing is NOT 'art' it is of a higher order!

the way he wove in the worst of daddy... and painted the scenes 

dad peelin down his jeans

in prep

for ... underkcks too..

 was very well watched throughout EU 

still curious about who the fuck were you

and whom aprecaite GREAT 'art+'  .. elegant poignant REAL

trippy wistful

" HUMAN" 

when all you get in UK is Grayson Perry in a dress...

On (your) telly cos of his dress

Not his art

as there wasn't any

 

) 

A very shabby sketch for performance art to come

I went to watch the Turner 'worthy' Podger in Helstoned

too

I have never seen anything so wet in ALL my life.

Even a Sleepless stuck Pole could do a better job 

 

England....well especially The SW...

Where you write a nice letter to the 'artist'  for  whom you showed considerable concern...and all she does is spam you back weekly ... with her "lonely" chirpy sales pitch (i shall turn into 'art'..)

But above all.... Excepting one recent scot...

Nobody even thinks, " a pretty wet year [lasterone] ...  ehhmmm maybe  you need to come and dry some nick nacks  that may have suffered in your little snailshell, over my ....solo wood burner for one sour puss little "bird"

Not even the religious bigots...and my my theyve had plenty of MY time...on them

Tryin' to save one's life...

Among other things

Ohh yes compare and contrast an hour speaking with a magnificent Pole on her big showoff bike...  and ... quite a few others. On art... and life... and the real history of her country...

You can soon my interviews are good... I never know where they were goin' or that they were even to begin...

It's real though...not Abramovic confected, stewing over how to glean attention,  for absolutely nothing to say...

That's REAl about her Former domicile..

Or this one too...

Now...for the real beginning

 Time to say it like it actually ...is..

And was in many a place, atchin or not

But the real "ceremonial" END and beginning, too

The 'art' in this could not be even performed in all of Shakespeare  (so interesting in fact NOT now thought to be a wife-deserter in that, there is a letter from after that ASSUMED to have happened by every scholar of 'him' ever... saying " cant wait to be back home,. my sweet little helpmeet.. The English and their dire judgemental psychodrama Eastenders so called 'history' )  

Never mind life and sweat and death

It will all make sense, soon...

THE "ceremonial" END...

 Even if my only recognised holiday

Is First of May

(Moron Esteem and all that ... and Former Sovs)

Now the beginning...

soon

Loads of infills

Now

I forgot.... działanie mówi głośniej niż

Yes if i were a  Former Sov....

As i started to riff here

 https://www.ralphschism.com/2025/04/ono-sto-se-napravi-govori-vise-od-ono.html

I would really want to know much mpore about the REAL histories of my own country and the neighbours, as especially Rather tall Miss Moldova proved, gosh we know nothing

(decent money in it as I am sure the yanks are just as myopic about the recent past of their many million immigrants)

As i fullest well know all we get is rather 'patronising'  Former Sov snapshots...

The fabulous Zo.... but all we ever hear is wartime this that and the other... 

Can Agent Zo save the lives of thousands of women in Nazi-occupied Poland?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m0028vd9

With such rich superb linguistic minds even in Formerly manky Molova...as i thought, there must be so much more real subtle nuanced history.... 

Absolutely no one in The West has the slightest idea of..

I know as i ask...

real people, who do in fact care

Now....

 The Sequence can really begin

(even if it started 10 years ago or in fact 20...  but.... I got deeper... )

"what are you doing Dear Che Simon..? "

" Elisa whilst all the fake environmentalist have yahoo Sick Bucket "ceremonies"  [oops two doubles there i am busy...in ... the one atch that has become the greatest Paradise ever..] this day i shall forever celebrate a REAL woman and just twenty four .... who not only has perfect Romanian-English.... but knows when another 'human' asks you about wearing unnecessary pieces of plastic.... you knew it was because  ...i know you are ESTEEMED enough to have a conversation about .... it dodn't matter you said 'Simon you are right'... all that matters in British Greens.... simply go off on an irrelevent tangent, far more likely never speak with you again... ohh yes and in  seven years i shall meander a coastal pathway, to hell, doing great bog compilations of all the ugly sunglasses and hiding eyes... windows of their soul, too.... except they aint got one....  because unlike you there are NO onion skin layers to peel off when it suits.... them [pl] ..and thats the key to real creativity never mind best 'human' Ive ever met.."

" hang on let me write that in my writers notebook.... i never heard anyone dare.... speak of how I ACTUALLY save the planet for our as yet unmade Romaniac-Francos.... i like the bit about how we.. are Europe...  just like your lass..."

December 2017

sort these out later

The only woman who has got me movin' with her ...just a little bit 

For the nana addict.... some bikes are worth steain'

hmmmm

Bolivia's curious plastic doll fetish...

Otherwise the only normal place I've ever been

But the very best one... this is merely the first coat of waterpaint upon the twenty year sketchpad..

Is an open door... across a small  piaza... with a man sat out front....  

" senor   ...can i please use them after you...?"..... 

His little pair of nail clippers flew between our balconies as if .... 'germs' had never even been discovered... never mind anything 'personal'...

TO DO XXX

and dozens of actually happy smiley babes too..

(not for the tourists aS THERE WERENT ANY )

ooh yes censored for now out of respect for her...

There she is First equal in the FS Top Pops...   proving you can be 100% pukka esteemed and free minded even with a dodgy one..

Poznan... 

out of sequence the poor thing above, would testifytoo how the 'healer' and 'mindful' babes incomming to Clun had so so damaged and hurt hertoo..

I don't believe anyone, unless ive seen proof with my own eyes...day after day

 This was probably one of them... mind you they ALL look the same 

much more interesting how no one ever down here can even read a weather forecast and build a bleedin marquee so as to stand up straight

 THe first of a series of absurdist performance art in silver linings ...to do

lots of linked photos, too...

mainly of after almost any gatheration of even a few never mind hundreds with so much money they waste it on this malarkey rather than build the stone walls they knock downtoo

They always leave things behind...maybe for the magpies blessem..

But i run ahead of myself....bigtime

I need true poise AND GRACE NOW

(OH YES IT CAME BACK...)

Esteem is co-located with... planning ahead.

I would be allergic to even planning half an hour ahead in my whole twenties..until

But even fifteen years with no apparent purpose.... the best reason for planning ahead from 1997 like clockwork

 

Freedom, the purpose of obtaining 'esteem' surely..

especially as 'keeping ones options open' is so exhausting and i was wiorld champ

and tough

Freedom is in fact at least having a few cast iron  memos or times chosen a week ago to do some act or other..

like that i shall this lateraft

And knowing nothing at all could change your course.... as it is 100% the right thing to do. Not for me...

(i may have nearly found it Clun Green man festival May 1 2023....   very raw sewerage floating straight down to kiddies playin' not even yonder.. unless the fat man in charge in the rustic costume had vision so bad that he was officially actually

disabled..

soon. 

But now, time to run away....

The Art of ..sztuka

Well The Art of Living is always mean what you say

 a very boring part 2 is now in youtube format too

my my that took some doing, never again

All future audios made FROM today (ahh hahh....there's one from  Sunday stil, the money men likel)  in FREE Substack only 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 

Anyway back to now....later in fact

I plan my days rather well even if i don't plan on being  'awake' at 4am to finish so much of just preparation for....

knockin ugly hairdyed Marina off her perch at the very least.....

 the word for "art" is umjetnost (pronounced "OO-myet-nost").

Here's a breakdown of related terms and concepts: 

• Umjetnost: This is the general term for art, including visual arts, music, literature, and other artistic expressions.
• Umjetnik/Umjetnica: This refers to an artist (male/female).
• Izložba: This means an exhibition, often used in the context of art shows.
• Galerija: This refers to an art gallery.
• Umjetničko djelo: This translates to "work of art".
• Kreativnost: This term refers to creativity.

There are other forms of art...piss artist

The Artful dodger... what you do if you don't want to be a cleanin' lady: pickpockets via dodgy vudu

But all i cared about was the ART of one woman of the land RLATING just ONE bit of truth....about the rest of her flock.. rippin' us honest day-labourers off.... even on the LAND... 

all of course whom, every other word, spout "community"

value - the real deal. Is priceless. So now my chronicle can end

Cos they all read the Guardiantoo to find the advertorial for yet another fake 'rural community'

Especially as it now has to be used.... to make a national noise - the money 'men' agree....

The art of the odyssey is over

Pretty please, now there's a recording.... in a few days i have to get it into 'traction'....  I shall go for May Day

My holiday.

It is important....  

(part of a futre art installation on how to destroy any real  artists head "pronounced 'eye-ah-WAH-ska' " so says Oggle)

now fair dinkum when i operate a machine inadequately i say so...

Being there is one....on it if i had refreshed the screen 

(interesting road name i didn't know -the usual Hatesville lies it means mountain for gods sake...)

when in fact there are several..

Anyway forget that swamp ...

I love this new word that kindof artistically fits in with....  everywhere there...

it means sucking up to Tom-Pauls' dicks just for a bit of land 

that's never FREE... 

that's why they bought it fleeing London... basically as AIDS really set in i guess...

However (as the troops agree, only actually GOOD 'art' can now save anyones Creek and all creeks are equal in my world...nothing is EVER personal...

thats at the end of esteem 3 audio thistermorn from yesteraft

anyway a shabby quick sketch of

nothing

so sadly no art

'trying' so hard

is not art

Nor ever from esteem

And i tried...ohh my god i tried..

To find just ONE actually artistic picture that was... more than one dimensional

So few of us know....

 

27 sept 2024

The zen of the art of relating to your notebooks when you must....

Get into your small space livin'

Find the best ever atchin tan possibly in the world

Regardless of bein' ripped off for wages, VERY VERY earned....doin' the work even Siddhartha would have turned his fussy nose up at, as most deplorable of the underclasses, spattered messiness

And zen is every mornin' a new mornin' 

"thanks luv.. you made my decision for me...if YOU cannot be trusted especially after i empathised bigly with your ' I dont even dare go to Penzance this weekend with the lynch mobs out after me and my clan '... psychodrama alcoholic any old excuse....   well i no longer ever have to think of the word moral any more.... so back to the REAL work"

(this one not only not on awful underclass 'park4night' but given to me by the born 'n bred vanbabe

Her preciouss.... just a few of us owned

As she had looked at the maps and found THE INFORMATION

"no one seems to own"

(as i once again spend 10 hours tryin' to fix so called, by some absurd younger beardy cool dude child-thing, age 35ish  so badly parented by boho childmen they don't know what a man's word used to be - accurate. " hey dude ... of course it is guaranteed to work all our second hand discs are checked and verified before sale.."

The idea you can trust ANY under 50ish, especially in Stepford-on-Londance 

(where her sister has been eaten alive by the sound bowl brigade

flouncin that vile promenade

she cares, i-moan...

she was born there

and doggin' from a fine early age, with splendid success) 

 ever to ever know that looking you in the eye (the rare occasions they manage that "human" hobby)

means..

whatever it once did

(but my chronicles have this reprise: in fact it goes back to 2009 and the fat childless Goldsmiths college lecturer:  "my preshisses.... they are so so so truly gorgeously wonderful this class of students... " i bet shetoo never taught them, between lessons on how to be so loved for saying theyre so loveable, without ever teachin' em any reality: "backup... twice...always, not sometimes, never ever not twice... especially as the future will, as sure as ferrits are...give us 

 Windows ten  which will be the first "last ever windows" the beardy childmen say, fanfare! ....

which can actually vampire gobble up your data left on it a way thats... one way communication only, as is their default: "fuck off..its mine preshiouss...  you dont even get to know if i even read it and etched it on my memory before it...vanishes into thin air"

Never mind... how wonderful yesteraft to have a  counrtywoman not a "yuppie" with actual real mud on her big ones, at the gamekeeper's gate,  agreein'.. " eckerslike ...and down ear.... a man can't even be sure e'll get is 'ard earned slave wages ... " of course one isn't so imp[olite as to add in " strange thing is...as i mainly do fixin up old rotten stuff work for the wimmin... it's become not just an occasional  feminine 'hobby' ... breaking the Modern Day Slavery legislation... 

 it is actually every single occasion

though the biscuit was taken summer 2023

That one she even conned me

into buyin' her groceries on the way back out to her Paradise 

wilderness, million quids worth of high acres

helpmeet or just "community" means or did

when you're 45 minutes from the nearest shop

" anything i can get for youtoo... me here now"

   

There is...was one rule of the land I am sure even William The Conk

kept to: don't matter which side of the fence they were from

pay the  willow men for the arrow wood

grave diggers too thats understood

Pigswill carriers ... no matter what

'Rural honour'  trumps all that petty  political rot

Seems not

when you are an 'incoming' feminine... 

positioning onesself to get discounted groceries so perfect little ballerina

just as the last bill becomes due, groceries owed too

pirouetting to a perfectly executed little hissy one...

I bet they wouldn't even break that fundamentalest 

ye olde lore of the land

In the  Serbian Badlands... 

Thing is its not really 'honourable' to NOT get them all nickedtoo

youtoo.. a real crime is a real crime too

example to the next generation 

never mind wage deflation

But zen means having far far better places to go

And more important things to do

Especially when you know 'narcissism' means there's no point.

Though her awful word, if only they knew how to properly 

... well it's shared lexicon  long gone with a silly notion that especially woman landowner may be bonded

by her word.

Narcissism, is far too grown up a word for Infantile Teletubbiesm

Syndrome ... every where i go

small space  personal 'space' snail shell livin' is no 'choice'

But necessity if you wish to remain sane

Unless....

 

... to Be cont

The real unique best atch in the world ever

Or below about 55 degrees North i would guess

the child "nomads" of park4night wouldnt know

All tucked up in their marijuana smellin duvets till

lunchtime

or her the so called now famous, vantuber busy frettin' about her hair

This one..from about now

You get sunRISE

and set

And i didn't know how remarkably few degrees they are apart

It's very emotional indeed

Just what a Modern Enslaved, old school bloke needs.

Nothing to do with any lost-it "human"  for now

Even stone age ones "embodied" in their DNA indeed

fair's fair... you scratch mine and I'll scratch yours

a deal a deal, otherwise not very ESS 

( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evolutionarily_stable_strategy )

 amoeba like unstable dodgy greed

we are stood up straight homo now

oops we tripped, back on all fours, doggie style

Or flatulent old....thickhead cow

 

 Right that's enough of that i don't know why i pretend to be poetical .... it's just a cover... for 

(i mean what i say, always)

To Be Cont

 

 

I need an opera writer, really

 as i have the actual dance moves to weave into their incessant wailin' and  posturin' about EVERYTHIN' else but an honest days work 

cleanin' their 'lady' 

mess.

One day.... soon

So a REAL man just does THEIR washintoo.....

Without askin'

Because at least he can 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

That would knock the fakes off Glyndebourne centre stage...

And i am serious

(the drama behind my speciality for at least a decade... 

sortin' out their rottin' mess...

As i LIKE sortin' out rottin' mess

though in fact Hilary's [m] barn was the first  - a bona fida girlie up from London....  rich man's poor son ,,, related to your Nigella... and of course Mister climate change denier supreme.... 

the new machinery  - sit on boys toys fancy junior sized tractor, so unmaintained the fuel had solidified in the carburettor

And he started to cash in too on the 'Green' talk jamboree.... 

but what is funny is the hissy fit prammy hullabaloo when a neighbour employed to sort out his ...

i don't know what the word is when a child can't even manage to keep his own  very expensive new toys  clean and kindof workin'.... so you just get on with the ;job'... regardless, anyway vampires dont get up til teatime so never there to consult...

On what doesnt need consultin' on....

as its simple the simple job needs simply doin'

In a way that simple ye olde school folk did forever

But not if you are Mister world famous 'philosopher' ... 

(plottin' to steal the big boy festival next door out of pure pure spiteful ex English public schoolboy schoolboy spite... ..just like that Gollom video..." MY... my ..presshhuss..."  )

Est....

 ...eem two and three

I reckon i got just a few days left in.. it

Fair dinkum ten year'nago....

Anyway...now, i am bamboozled....

Like ehhh...was that the underpant event? With whom i though i was speakin with one my age...but unhatted the daughter of almost....?

I have no idea except I don't know if people CAN listen..

"  i do not exist.." 

To the one dimensional and that's not only the 'artists' i just don't think they understand language IS to perform, life too....and life is very weird especially on Surrey-on-Sea so i do not WANT to exist...

But you just can't say ANYthing to them.... " i don't have a name.." 

Maybe I have leprosy or I ... i know as ALL their children have 'dyslexia' i will just start to say I got neuro divergent specialexia so i can't REMEMBER my name or any gossip or in fact what i 'do' or in fact who are you...

Soliution!

As "i am not for one second interested in your not-quite-as-it seems in the tourist/property guide....dull little county, so all opinions accidentally expressed will never get in my chronicle...as i am too busy writing up a FAR more wonky load of actually interesting frauds ...and stories of their 'spray on mud'in the last place over ten years [hers wasnt i respect her thats all she needs to know, period]  whom were at least 1.5 dimensional as against the Flatsville ones here even Hatesville is so dull it was predicted, neigh depicted, in the Beano or Bruce's dire Withnail about three decades ago....  .... you are just a footnote" 

How emotional (real) 

Kate one of my very very few approved schoolmistresses....

Her original infact THE bouncy song....

A perfect word picture too

Without tellin' ANYone what to do

or think

Just..."oh my god it's....." a true artist can paint a whole lifetime in that one nuanced sentence...

Much more fun to spend a whole lifetime  rattlin out 500 sentences a day...

And even then i shall never finish.

I have too many gorgeous unbelievable word pix to paint

Especially now the men.. the money men.... have picked up their ears....

(cancel Wikipedia: bring back woke! how on earth can they not have a page on the greatest feminine position writer of all time Maggie...Roche....   and yet have a page on her bloke without even mentioning his "bird" a million times more effective,  than his failed 'environmentalism' and just as failed 'journalism'...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_McCarthy_(journalist) in country even more CAnadian than Canada... )

(i have at least a three week backlog so do come back..ohh i see you do its almost like clockwork, quite conformist....  stewed pumpkin spangly cuppa pop tart for brecky and pop in here.. regular as clockwork when i get a rantin'.... .cos your actual dull little consumerist life gives you no stimulation ever, and especially no esteem

Well far more stimulation to come as this is just the  doggie paddle phase...

Proper making waves...soon.

substack audio

Esteem 2 (i think -i may have missed one and theres a big 3 hr dollop missing too). ONLY listen if you are a Former Sov (dont worry its FREE) as only one inspired me to ponder her sleep...

https://open.substack.com/pub/ralphschism/p/esteem-2-i-think-i-may-have-missed?r=2jdt8a&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

substack audio

Esteem 3 ... (this aft) (being very Sammish: index = how even Trumtown boys and girls can make friends after the worst "Nazi!" hissy fits in history.. around tomorrow's good 'cause'. ...cont below

unless you are infected with being in Britain 10 or more years. Bless you..."Heterodox" their smart Alec word, proof I am the only heterodox one of the LOT of them. Plus...who is 'agent Z'

AND AS USUAL bonus content wont fit in to their neurotic need to limit your words: at least one of them admits its all rather not-very-hetro, indeed rather homo...

not my words, his...

https://open.substack.com/pub/ralphschism/p/esteem-3-this-aft-being-very-sammish?r=2jdt8a&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

Jee whizz Emmylou looks like an actual whoremoan pulsatin'  teenager with her Platinum medal award winnin'  silver mane....

stupid old BAFTA (piggybacked) rude bad mannered cow with her ...

so predictable dull show

where she looks OLDER than she looked then

(MM)

(pic soon... there's a sequence) 

(studio version so much more thrillin' due the ... thing they do..... 

only artists true..... shake their hair,  let their nicks down and 

change

 it cos they feel brave and go all the way.....)

As am I.... but i wish I could make it as beautiful; i shall try...

(the quality of my solo work....solo as no women will ever help any man of the land.... especially to fix their  once top-of-range princessey horsey houses.... they let rot...years and years..nag the rotten booze addled dad, but don't fix the rottin wood.... .. thats what telly in the kitchen and ...well i may get back to her, one day...)  

Now, those poor former Sovs...(Capital man! all peeps need to bend down in a train of unthinking letters...after their silly Patronym...)

 I don't know ONE thing, i would love to...

Of course I asked, but what with all that unesteemin' astrology and other such vudu about what no one can ever know...

you get a footstampy ... kick off the wires

Jerzy's "bird" that Painted one, well i guess was a bit of a 'road trip.

Resurrection by Leo T... the ultimate

But did post 'Soviet' wafflin'

I diligently watched Polanski's 'breakthrough' Three Go Nuts on a YAcht wasit?

But that was just local vodka addled psychodrama..

Thank god he got rather Pianist better...

Indeed the most wonderful parable of all times

Anyone can be buddies, tomorrow, don't matter which gas chamber knob you were ponderin' the day before...

But it wasn't a Road Trip...

Candide

The Don-the-Quix one

Even the olde English Canterburies...

Never mind the one and only, first and best ..(even if i realised just yesteraft the flaw innit)

The actual Bible according to Bob

Homer's Odd one...

But i just don't know if the Formers... lets abbreviate them to that

have the 'road trip' ... as part of their cultural construct.

If her Emir had done a bit of road trippin,  I think he would have been multi dimensional enough to know that druggie ones are very dull (as per Easy Rider,  overrated) and that road trips could be surreally sort of happenin' endlessly without goin' too far on your trips...

me i adore mine ongoin' 20 years ... maybe 30.... and don't really want to 'go' anywhere especially (this is a miracle) today...

I have known no more perfect place ....well... not quite

 

And in fact the best road trip songs....

hers...

No no no nohhhhh the two most beautiful Bobsong names are reserved for perfection

Estelle and Johannah.... 

She's the girl innit...Lou.... my oh my how she was on earworm that perfect December (2022) 

(after that concurrent flirt)

(no not hers a missing 'h' meant always imposter.... )

"ain't it just like the night to play tricks when you're...."

"sit here stranded... " blahh di blahh...

The December  nights did play tricks...  (she didn't know)

 " my gosh a perfect flower girl.... the way she looks at ugly ole' me in the street too...even out of her flower powered deliveroo van... ahh yea... she is the one... i shall leave this on her doorstep for Christmas .... i did tell her how special it is, how it's about...just letting go, really....and doesn't matter the psychodrama around you....  be, present, now..."

But i didn't.... as the tricky night made the decisiuon for me, instead....

By the best writing i have ever seen....

even if via the drug of her small screen..

what is the AscerbicCroat ...s are dull, for 'actions speak louder than words'?

go back a bit

Me I'm no junkie - mindfulness is: even if  Julia texted saying she was a fake in her dull  ecorights film, as Erin had a SALARY! AND had even gone into   the wrong bookshop in the wrong town,  Nottin' Hill... 

or 

Jasna Djuricic

 whom i cannot make out a Great Beauty ? the disadvantage of writing on the beach...

" meet me for a coffee tomorrow..."  theres nothing that can conceivably be done in the 'now' at 2100ish....so leave even her til the new mornin'... and nod off to sleep...NOW

Anyway road trips  are three dimensional especially when you have planned for quite a few weeks to be here, now... and every smallest detail and notepad is arranged in sequence....

Your 'government' equipment all charged up....

And... (only about 10,000 words... they could be counted: the 9000 here and a few emails propper ones that grown ups write rather than a bimbo line of blocked up bimboese...  - all the Greens could manage goin' back a decade)

so  yes do the Former Sovs have this wonderful 'poetical' form of the trippy road Trip to nowhere special....

And just when you KNOW for a fact you are on the home run, a Gremlin comes and reminds you of your pathetic mortal cpoiul up and die...or just keep on keepi' on...

I don't know but what i do know is that all transference of mere abode, or country, the same 'rules' apply.... you should GIVE, too...

that is ' give, too' the placing of the comma is...well its even in the Bible i guess...

about 2000+ years old

(ahh i am runnin' ahead there is esteem episode 2 the audio still to upload..)

Which is irrelevant every single word is al on the same one theme

to be cont

Quickly spit this out whilst germane: (as i have several pother dimensions ongoing several years i guess i shall need to emigrate to fully fill in the dots the way supposed 'democrats' love to try and get peeps arrested for all those thoughtcrimes.... 

making people think they may not be quite whom they perform.

But that is fact... what is fiction is and it started over a decade ago...but he is perfect example: Mister Lord of his shabby little court of silly childrens' toys - collectable...and all the rest.

Ok you have to make a livin' even when upon first encounter you perform " i really really wish this road here would be pedestrianised the pollution and noise and inhumanity.."

A charade (2017ish if my memory serves) 

But what the REAL definition of narcissism is is ...

 anything 'political' which is all environmentalism is despite them all thinking if they put selkie in their songs and mermaid moan loads of unrealistic kelp....

so.. 'actions' or a 'cause' as 'actions' are for girls with Fakeboook accounts to mainly fake them upon.. and then runaway crying and back to their same old dull life of showing off how much land she got off the 'community'...as all hers.. (Leintwards) ..

whereas 'causes' require  many years of alliance  and quite diligent hardish work 'connected' to other allies...

(at least babs is honest and preempted " my stupid posh fey bloke was an Apple man [ oxbridge had a deal and got commission] .... so thats why i am in t6he elite 10%...."

However there is one thing much anti-communitarian than bein' Apple (Jobs the most vicious  anti-people operator ever he had the toughest ever copyrighted fence around HIS Bigboy softboy wear,,,)

Linux...

Now, being allies in 'causes' requires sometimes even sharing computers and joint work on even photos or videos or just simple word docs...

AND ( i made my bacon via laptop from 27 years ago selling books - my daughter's bacon too - no fairly regular sales, no bacon...

and that meant a small team of as usual in The MArches computer illiteratti... even the PROFESSOR of IT at the local college

Anyway... of course despite it being SO SO SO trendy to slag off Windows, rightly... 90% of the population then and 100% of teenagers then and now...

use Windows.

And Linux is NOT a seamless quick " hey dude turn it on and surf away as its just the same as Mickeysoft.. but free...and the Feds wont be readin your every word, too"

Nope.... 

At least 100 hours to become familiar enough so that one is up to ordinary Windows speeding along doing WORK..or causes...

(never mind the feds always readin' everythin' unless AIR GAPPED) 

(anyway like all hip-'guys' recommended anything for 20+ years they are wrong and it is just as rubbish as Windows...)

but if you DO want anything to BE a 'community' or do any actual real good IN the 'community'....

And are not a narcissistic madman who every word he would utter is "community" and "we"... 

But never DID anything ever...nor had any WE-MEN mates... except when you point out to him if one were to as a small group  then please use a standard computer file format WE all know and are familiar with.. saving massive amounts of time and browsweat...

Nope, narco-terrorism infact not even worthy of the label 'narcissism' is the silly manchild who merely argues all day about HIS toys...

And cannot even think twice that having toys others may be able to even see as toys.. cos the vandals stole the handle  which lets you in to the playroom

may be a little bit " human" or just .... common sense...

surely Former Sovs at least recall the GOOD things about "collective" ..action... or did MAggie so piss on their Parade too she put all their once fine fires inside, out forever

Nope.... (this is what happened to YOUR 'Green' movemnment the REAL version... you can read when i have murdered this current one..).. as now my ....

even peeps who i should never speak with again, ever ...as i know they are 100% THE problem... never mind untrustworthy bitchy backstabbers...if they have shared 'cause' now...a new one...(they DO agree with is The End) .. the clock is reset to

NOW....

I don't think Stalin made that lesson compulsory in the  curriculum after splendid Leo T covered it SO well!...

shame, that

It's the basis of actual MODERNITY

And modern art: ..all is cant and vanity

 

However to stand up to Trumpeting insanity

There is no yesterday.

ohh parents learn that too...if they are "paying attention" to quote Sam...I'm not sure they do any more.

Ergo

ohh well no accountin' for the barren

 in mind body and soul....