draft lots to add in to this
may rewrite this evening...meanwhile sea to fully let in ...to my soul....wash away the not-me....
I know it is 'me'...
But esteem and also philosophical learning means i at least know 'what'....'happened'. And there never is 'blame' - things are as they are...
It just so happens that my hobby, or maybe even calling ...is to attempt to chronicle wisely.
Civilisation is kindof built on just such a thing as it 'appens :-)
I know only one real 'change' throughout my life. And i posit it is the 'change' most of the change-seekers wish... Eventually a peaceful inner world. Even if it is a lonely Island. Rumpus and even woes.....ain't fun. Confusion, stuckness... may age one prematurely. Even cause early death.
Now.... a fair few of my chort though i was the first i was aware of found in the later 80s Fromm for instance and his To Have or to Be...
Wonderful! Life changing moment.... one knew that a fair bit within (though by no means all) , especially the title, was almost a new worthy bible...
Except.... one thing.
Words, ideas... even the best, don't really cause much CHANGE. And instinctively in those years we knew that ONLY the humblest of sages should we even allow onto our bookshelves.... true humility is absolutely part of 'IT'...
Every single one of my sagely friends in my 20s...even 30s knew one thing for absolute sure, that one should only ever even browse the books of some modern day sage if they were TOTALLY 100% beyond any form of self expression via ANY special clothes, and kind of funky appearance, and only drove an old unwashed banger they had absolutely NO 'aesthetic' interest in...
The ironic (CYNICS) of the hip 'post modern' age - who blessem don't exist will maybe think "yawnnn... performing humility, deliberately dressing down or as we say it now becoming 'beige' is just another form of attempt to say something via identity - theyre just as bad as all the rest"
NOPE utter BS... there was a period when ALL (except the newly arising extreme minority bimbo class) knew that any special clothing, even a 'style' was vanity...whats wrong with Burton? .whats wrong with a plain old motor or abode.... Thats not some new age Commie desperate need for conformity and plainness its exactly the opposite - ALL ..or 97% in the UK saw through any kind of statement via clothing or any posession as crass, show off, very very suspect (one could be crass and say look no further than Jimmy Saville and his expensive fur coats and very blingy camper van) - do NOT trust the show off....ever.... they are perverted beyond mere egotism.
And of course the last 20 years of tubo consumerism.... has reversed those numbers entirely....
And i know it makes no one ACTUALLY 'happy' who folows any kind of external THING as statement as to who they 'are' or even hobby or appearance...
But above all that, and whats TRULY bad for everyone...is of the cities, and suburbs (ALL - every inch of the SW a suburb - a twee Oxfordshire commuter town of pretenders.... mixed in a with a large dollop of Primrose Hill or even Kensington (though they mask it with shabby chic aesthetic their cottages i mean)
I know only one thing. And even as i said "say what you mean and mean what you say" is yet more cant and vanity even from me.
Because you have to LIVE - over a longish period, in relative isolation (away from a county of only sad little pretenders - half of them escapees from the Priory in London, narcotics wing.... probably a fair few sex addicts mixed in, too.... and tragic little figures addicted to being up all night on their Fakebook, ... the dopamine hit - the shabbiest hit of all: "precious...my precious... another one... that means 1.999 friends.... " )
All the 'buzz' words from community to authenticity even if most dont dare even THINK that may cure their sick minds....as its a biggie!
DM me for change
lean in
listen
embodiment...
bullshit....
and all of the 'people pleasing' which is a not nice way of simply saying uttering utterly meaningless words without BEing someone who can ever ever mean their words - as they - every person here i know full well, did not ever LEARN that in fact it is the only truly lovely positive change there is i have ever really LIVED... that ones vaguest suggestion to someone ese should mean EVERYTHING.... and in non city based butterfly brain socities (not here) there is a truly great 'dsicipline' that one learns the hard way - every hint of alliance really matters IS taken seriously and also there are many year consequences if insincere.
Guess what. It means words LIVE again - every word uttered and numabce matters. Is valid. IS... 'CONNECTION'.... nt just silly words from utterly lost performative service economy (all they are) city girls....
And that learning those 'ways'... and replicating them the rest of life when the 'lesson' is well learned by being there... and suffering and making mistakes!
Creates eventually a real kind of authenticity that actually IS a great immune system
Just as one knew that Fromm's really sincere and fine words were...not much use.
There is only one change that matters and i know full well it is almost ancient history even knowing it CAN be lived...embodied....and that is in my shorter audio here...
in NON suburban society one never ever would (as three women have in three years - all as it happens consider themselves psychologically 'advanced' ) even hint "you can fix my daddies house" nor even COMMUNICATE with one subliminal hint...unless one knew the commandment is COMMITTMENT...no matter what! .. it must be followed through.... and any acceptence of a task or even cup of tea is as much a first commandment...
when oe really DOES have actual 'community'...
Purpose book 5 the end, don't "DM me for change". There is only one worthwhile change and you have to be it.
Now i know that the WHOLE region is just full of rather stuck hustlers and ther schemes...unless they have a boatload of daddy's cash to escape on the back of...
In fact i keep finding huge unused village halls .... tragic! they could even be used for yoga or dancing!
Bit of tarting up.... fit in a woodburner.... sign a 'enter at own risk' contract...
what a WASTE...
and i know that ex townies can never mean anything unless they have lived fully with the REAl CONSEQUENCES OF NOT KEEPING TO PLANS...
OOPS ACCIDENTAL CAPS...
