..ing up, every smallest twist and turn
of the artful dance, but a dance for real life or death.
A REAL 'dance' of a REAL only-"human".
Or should one think of the art of relating, to reality....
or even wilder 'grace'
under pressure, than the made up grace of the wildless.
"Nature" cures.....all, only
if it gets in the way of your nothing, just perhaps being something
You can eat or burn.
But knowing you can be quite satisfactory "human" without a cooked meal, ever,
is actually being cured of being human
So lets stop all that i know not what any once-London-living may have meant by their London words
As they never take the time to actually tell ...anything worthwhile.
It's all a performance.
Righty ho, the art of...
Thirty years ago beginning, but twenty full-time, for sure
The real paradox i suppose is without their invasion or resettlement
Their moving out of 'well appointed' cityside leafy street or tennament
And doubling my rental rate .. twenty years ago
When one lives on local money - nothing from any once faded past, as the past should be
an elsewhere existence. Extinct. As it had no actual life in it.
And ... 'love' - must come back to that, did the Greeks have a word for innate no-matter-what duty to your child? I find extraordinary the South easterner especially Britolish avoid in discussion, book, song, or if-we-must 'podcast' as even a thing
Anyway i was never one of them.
Even if i found my first key
I couldn't see
As i knew for sure that not only could there not be one, but the last door in the world that hid the cure, would be hers
All that kiddy racket within.
But thats another story at least i told one who may one day get it.
Righty ho to the point as in fact above a;;l it is the real 'dance'
One is living on very little, up in the hills, in the oldest unmodernised
('death trap' others would say except they have it the wrong way around, as only Rachel Kushner seems to know: turn others' dodgy ways to your advantage, a BIT - you only get a small allowance! one day.... and it's the SMALL thing of it that is real joy... that sustains )
cheap old farmhouse, neglected for 100 years as the family famously so mean that the kitchen range chimney crumbles from with - a famously supposedly ok way to die...
CO rather than two of them...
But that isn't the 'dance' except that to continually be cleaning out the essential airway is part of it
time is the enemy
Being 'cured' by nature is absolutely nothing to do with nice sunsets or even nicer sunrises
It is being nobody nowhere (as there was before the Guardian wrote that as usual liar liar pants on fire piece maybe 20 years ago " idyllic community" when they were all alcoholics, wife beaters or junkies, or a few famous junkies' cleaning ladies.... and the main 'good burgher' of the town, errata pub, one would hear face to face years on - that of the one he looked into, making... their babies... how later on, he only wanted the boy and she can keep the girl... when the boy and girl were all each other had )
Nobody nowhere...
And never able to afford anything 'normal'
As indeed one prioritises always that maybe-Greek thing of
(well Schlink got it in his...wow they have one word for it: Liebesfluchten
wonderful short story collection, the best one stating " someone threatens the healthy existence of your kid, a REAL man 'kindnaps' him and runs away.." As Hemming in Parliament was also later on tell the babes to do just that if the SS was after their butts, too.... )
And thus the dance began that you can only learn in real poverty
In nature, too
Endless for years daily dancing just to manage to 'grub' up fallen branch wood from all around
- the wood that no fancy pants incomer (with South East cash as most one way or other do) would ever admit to using, needing...
All that " ohh you must ideally use oak, maple hickory .... " (i believe they burned all the hickory so us REAL countrymen cannot even rehandle our axes with that any more)
is for the effete
dilettante
which just means spoilt, and of no real purpose...
scruffling (i will not use their evil word 'foraging' as leaving plenty for the birds and bees is anathema to them, who commercialised that one, for tourists ) around in the undergrowth for something reasonably burnable year after year rain or snow ....
(i lie cos a sane actual rural person plans his weeks, weeks ahead to use the good weather periods to make his scruffling enjoyable and efficient... but it is still a DANCE ....to use every single calorie in as efficient a way as possible. eg: " i must lean that way to break off that dry branch i see so whilst the calory has been expended tilting me that way use the same calorie to grab the sickle which is in the same direction, i know i will need in a few minutes to remove the small twigs still growing out of that next branch in the production line there and also swing slightly so as to be ready to pivot there soon..." is actually the only way you actually eat warm food, and keep warm too.... without maxiimising every split second of a few hours out at the wood ... the only way you can afford to run the Price Grenow death trap kitchen woodstove.... you will die or at least be very very ... whatever the word is for feeling inadequate and sorry for yourself and a bit less well nourished..)
But every moment for years - in fact two decades.... a dance, not to dilettante, " pass on story" to .
but to fuckin' well just about survive ...
to tell the story, bein'
Having lived...first... the only life worth livin'
To be cont
