And one thing i don't need to believe, as its factoid
(Unlike even him... probably died of sugartoo...)
i shall never ever ever 'convert' anywhere near my deathbed.. but i really must get this one in starkest terms unambiguous i have NO idea what to believe in as clearly 'belief' has been piggybacked by every needy neurotic for millennia who wishes to cash in...
One thing i need to remeber not to believe in but know...is that life became the exact opposite of what every WPP exec and silly Oliver Burkeman and De Boty for decades have been saying as theyve nothing REAl to say " ohh my ohh my life so accelerated.."
when in fact its the exact opposite.
now i do have a life even if ALL is connected... the only real fun though is for 3 1/2 years coercing and manipulating The Mong (still talking to me as i write) who ultimately is the 'answer' as is all crossbreeding but no matter how insultingly over the line i get she never gets cross
(even to my surprise the last month having been tried and convicted in truly dulcet tones of rhetoric, for the worst ever instance of people pleasing/gibbering ever... this is known as a REAL woman... who can take the TRUTH...for her own benefit... .when it is passed on so as to educate HER regarding HER new in-oven Monglett, which one must not 'pray' will stick this time....you just gotta ZEN - the real version which hurts... )
Anyway dont think this 'platform' is my only operant place..
And one day all interesting little snippets will be woven together as all my life for 20 years has only been about one4 simple thread...
But remember ... as -3 mornings do have one problem in that one simply cannot type and one is slowed down...
one really does have all the time in the world the way this ignorant genocidal society fails EVER to actually listen to its own, once great ....science! or until 30 years of blokes have been murdered or worse...
remember that old bicycling chap i knew a decade ago (many recorded interviews in my can) ...84
I would say to folk " if you EVER feel sorry for yourself just think of him... 12 km each way, 25ish in total, Kington to fatty's Presteigne and back, up quite steep hilly sections ...at least 3 times a week on oldish bike only couple of gears... he's astonishing .. looks and acts 15 years younger... doesnt even have a fancy education or any fluorescent..just knows what his body needs..."
yestersometime 
until the day came when "theyve told me i need me prostrate whipped out urgently... "still said with bright eyes and fine posture...
well i tried to tell him
but even he wouldnt listen.
And by 6ish months later even he had plain forgot, due " it went wrong... i now pee ALL night up every hour...havent slept for more than an hour at a time since i had it done.... god i wish i had never heard of their Nutzy so called health service..."
And so soon after, dead....
Yes.. theres me thinking what a HURRY top finish off many points only two thirds made... history will change so quickly they will be irrelevent by lunchtime..
Which is the biggest con of all....
For them Bovarian peeps... (thats you as any real non Bovarian would have gifted me by voluntary donation their stupid clunky Bungaloafing existence by now so i can finish off all my ..reflections.... for THEM!...and realised they gotta do a Sid... Herman the fine German knowing no guru nor any mindful yoga or even sex with a goddess never mind travel on holiday [theres no 'travel' left anywhere as Gweek got there first to use drugs in trendier spots...except bolivia... now WHY did Mrs purple hat play sucha game with me...letting me harp on when she had li8ved there that WAS the only interesting real encounter witha clearly esteemed enough to PLAY woman..] ... is gonna cure you of the affluenzic malaise that killed her off too)
All stuck in his fine 1856 universal long lasting tale of... the bourgeois construct.. kills everyone and stops ALL new acts...dead...
i have many personal messages that over time will be woven in here...if my few communicatrixes think i waste my time barking ONLY at them for them to never listen they havent read the words 'duel purpose' as clearly foreplayto some other purpose too...
and i only 'believe' in attempting to write groovy truths
for the next gen
its the only way i survived my elder gen... and her
Imagine the ultimate Judas turning out to be... the one whom bore you
I havent yet attempted to get that little factoid over to her...
well she never fucking deserved a grandchild if your whole life is going to be based on confected pity...
i just wish i had my dirty little chronicling habit in 2011 when she mistakenly called me instead of her intended sucking up to the man who had orchestrated her awful lying symphony for decades into..
stealing my kid..
being so so sweetly charmy on the doggie bone, to a child abuser... or thats whom she thought she was speaking with...
But all just funny chirpy stories and joke material...
which even the dreadful Ruby WAx (MAy 2023 on the wireless making jokes about how her book a few years earlier on 'mental health' and how to fix it clearly failed as a few years later she went full Little Green Men whackjob... bin-resident...) realised is indeed the only way to show we really ARE 'healed'... of just...life...
even if The English excepting Rachel Cusk ( the clue, a MONG :-) !!!! ) seem to want to completely avoid any real truth of.... or turn it into some fantasy of confected vulnerability....and missplaced pity
the only other remedy
however being English seems to require a LOT of time... three at least i have tied up and made watch that fabulous educational material...
but like some shit medicine it wears off after a few months...
clearly they must need repeat doses but they all find a way of wriggling out of the treatment centre one way or other..
and i only pity them. Never me
which is far more 'violent' an act upon them,
than any of the usual complaints they may have ....
the beautiful film does show....
yea...unlike Mr Me Before You.. a British production.... 'runs away' to Switzerland crying
He, a real man, who could only get a hard on in his earlobes
Somehow went on to...have several more real human children
( "Yasmin WHATEVER it takes tick toc body clock...tric toc tic toc... i shall harass you forever with this on repeat...tic toc...... get doggin...whatever it takes....tick toc..." it kinda worked..)
