That Madam George was THE greatest writer in the English language - of any straightforwardly jolly true novel that is, rather than Shakey's melodramatic death cult stuff ....whom i KNOW wrote in conjunction with the Missus... (even if they will forever deny her that truth even if the letters rediscovered a year or so ago say his Missus remained jolly good chums with her toy boy all her life and kept fully in touch.... and anyway if she was so much his fabulous educator in the ways of the 'world', all that maturity brushing away schoolboy insecurity
under hay rick or in the dark shadows under Bridge of Lurchery...
... older bit of totty
well of course she was his senior boss and co jotter...
Until the Chelteethams go and get all gushy and gussety ...
ruining my perfect morning.
Which in fact is the point: nobody gets gussetty over Silas as in fact he vuia his mum stuck two findgers up to ALL of them.... church, aristo, bigwig, midwig (standard bourgeoisie i just invented that innit cute!), and fleas crawling around under the midwig - i.e. lesser petit bourgoisie...
(god i hate being creatively cheeky without trying ANYthing - i never rev up in fact thistermorn is the exact opposite the handritten version already slowly jotting... thats the meversion of me.... as my people the mellow humble landgirls of course are intimidated by it when 100 years ago they would have danced a jig with metoo, it.... why Ragged Trousered did sell millions as there wasnt this bolshie modernist nothingism.... )
... because Silas saw through them all even the fake biological dad, and without being rude nevertheless did make it clear what rite 'n rong was and left it to his daughter to chose.....
And she chose correctly so its not as if some pumped up hooray Henry ferkin Darcy or whtever his name was, had ANYthing to do with it, nor any hoitytotty letters poppin back n forth...
As Eppie Marner knew only the eyes of the man who had adopted her ... and how they always were there gazing upon her own best interests no matter what...
And her so valiant attempt at trying to understand her own creation, Daniel Deronda, was maybe even a greater act of genius as she knew ..it was complex.... and thus left us mere readers not even entirely satisfied with her effort as of course that's the right feeling to inculcate, when all 'people'ing is almost beyond words...
But no.... the Cherltenham ladies have no memory except for whatever is the thing... today or the next day....
Which i understand entirely. As i have now 'lived' it enough: in a quarter of a decade just... wondering or not even knowing i needed to wonder " who are they?" Until i have.
Now... there is nothing worse than "giving away your core inner being me, lived or even dead.... as i care only about my reputation.
Reputation management is such an icepick through the head, of a phrase when all that matters even if it doesnt really in the grander scheme, is does one own descendent even have the first idea of ones basic identity? And figuring not because she is of the (to me) 'other' identity - the great masses of The South... (defined as East of a line going along the Eng/Wales border and South of around Manchester, though the former went and got all discombobulated as gradually those who couldnt afford to piss of the poor Pasties making them so much richer than they pretend by buying their spare dog kennels to live in or fill up with their pairs of designer dogs.... ended up gradually buying the land and spare dog kennels in Mid then even West Wales from around 2010ish which nobody would have second sighted...
Anyway i accept every smallest psychogeographical fact, but you have to understand why....just a tad.... or you are forever perturbed which is the foundational myth to becoming angsty...
Pretty much all 'feeling's just modern cultural con...struct
And even if The Source is part of something else, really... (the total destruction of once sane NON 'woke' environmental solidarity)
Its just the mass formation of bourgeois mores.... even upon their moors....
You have to really live, or you cannot understand how a watered down version diluted the once more sane version of at least part solidarity....in the actual country...
side, aside all this....
But its that year, that one seminal year 2022, all of it... that needs picking apart
and RAgged Trouserin', to start
As the thing about the Southerner B or MW or even smoked out lost little underiggy flea...
is (i didnt know) they think everything is only ever about "me"
and that is the only way for them it can be
And only a real fool thinks you can change anyone...
well anyone who hasnt been years and years 'aside'
often with only a few good books within which to hide
away from decades ago the great bullnecking, dumbing down began...
