this is a private cloaked page - not findable unless you have the url. Only a few are invited to it.
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19 December 2024
I don't believe in hyperbole. Nor clickbait wording. I don't use words like 'miracle' lightly. One doesn't when one lives entirely in nature and on the edge of the rest of normal society.
I live three years only in a very small van. ( and 8 in total of the last 15 years) This was part of the necessary odyssey (not what people may think - i needed a last spate of 'momentum' to maintain trajectory over the rockiest of pathways). The only drawback of what otherwise is the best way to live is i have very limited battery power - cannot sit at the screen for hours at a time getting presentation all modern-funky; indeed even checking for typos i had to do away with as a luxury I cannot afford at the moment.
Story. In general. Having the last four and a half years wondered what any possibly philosophical people had to say about 2020 and then the 'culture wars', with time on my hands i began to meander the supposedly wiser contemporary voices. I am quite good at being objective. Aside. The thing that strikes me most of all is the lack of story.
For example - and a male 'hero' is not chosen by me for the reason of gender, rather as perhaps a simplest stark example of mini revolution described in a beautiful story: Following the 1861 publication of George Elliot's wonderful Silas Marner - a best seller at the time, I am quite sure that over the following decades thousands if not tens of thousands of women felt able to say to their husband " you can take care of the nippers just as adequately as I can so do your fair share please" because of that perfect little story of a man manging exactly that. Surely generations of women benefited from that updated story of who we are. Millions of women able to enjoy fuller contemporary lives freed from the creche and kitchen, by story. Even if a few silly Johnny-come-latelys like Mr Tate seem to want to roll the clocks back a few hundred years.
And incidentally the male father figure in that book 'evolves' into arguably a far more useful social human being BECAUSE he had to reach out and make wider alliance on behalf of the new entity: child and carer in one.
I know full well that many aspect of my own persona was forever positively shifted as soon as i had a young bundle of joy in my life and remains so even now into her adulthood. Modern stories of that forever reality seem lacking in our society.
If, as one current example, it is thought a good thing that younger adults pondering their future sexual identification, do think twice, be clear online polemic does not work. Only story does. But it has to be a bit of a tearjerker, at least. That is what the modern human is. And in the age of the internet - echo chambers or, 'divided' battlegrounds such as twitter, we should know by now that rational 'persuasion' is for the birds. There was only ever, story...
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link to a substack audio podcast 'chapter' which gives a unique story. Only my substack users get it.
NOT NECESSARY TO SUBSCRIBE, ANYONE CAN LISTEN via the link
A Miracle (on substack only). see private page https://www.ralphschism.com/p/a-miracle.html
If you followed the above
also hinted at in my landlope.com
such a healthy wonderful mini rollercoaster but ...lets just say i am many years tough as old boots. Many a time (during that odyssey) the bank was empty and cupboards bare. Even periods of real hunger.
I am so used to not having any Christmas to look forward to (it was cancelled 15 years ago) it would never have occurred to me I need to get some money in the bank to go and spend a few days with said lass at her present London base.
This Christmas even poorer than usual... merely diverted in a good way.
Anyway the 'story' i know is of some use to the world... i cannot crowdfund or similar public begging bowls but if any patron even wants to buy a share of future material so to speak ... here is the never-used funding page... account numbers
https://www.ralphschism.com/p/funding.html
refs - merely as example.
But ultimately it IS as i have sometimes written or youtubed or substack audio waffled that having a child usually causes us to be new. All changes. Not in the slightly trite way Meg or others often rather inadequately will share. One has a purpose - and it goes way beyond just caring for a child, or loving - we start to take things more seriously; on behalf of what becomes a new entity: 'entity z' (parent + child) is who one becomes for the rest of life. One is never again merely an individual.
And what i do think is a truly positive matter, EVEN if failure - of the new entity, or 'causes' one engages on on behalf of the next generation, because they are directed AT this new entity - on behalf of one's child's generation - personified in that one person (or multiple kids ), even failure of a cause - even very worst failure of the most important cause, somehow is far less existentially challenging, because one does know that on behalf of 'entity z' one DID give it one's very best shot.
In respect of having kids it is rarely stated by any public voice, that especially men, our overall behaviours become so much more cautious and safe. I flew aircraft at 400mph prior to my child arriving 25 years ago..(ceasing that profession when she did). i also tended to be a (non showof) quite fast driver. The moment the other half of 'entity z' was around all my behaviours modified because living in daily love and enjoyment with an infant I could not allow myself in any way to be any kind of cause of ANY child coming to vehicular harm and from that time i have never driven above 55mph (motorway, 40 mph country roads) - the idea of ANY other human being unnecessarily harmed in any accident became abhorrent.
But here is the rub: as in the above audio: it is impossible to predict how we will 'feel' and 'act' when such a major life event occurs - having a child. We are a completely different being once we become (two) ... I lament how so few ever speak of that. And the fact of the matter is hardly anyone ever says " i wish i never had"
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I am sending this message, below, out to possible.... middlemen
Anyone knows anyone who can help me get it turned into something can have a cut
Special story for someone to make hay with
Hello,
I am attempting to get agent or publisher support regarding
an extremely unusual (HAPPY – if that is allowed in cynical UK) story. Or ANY
urgent assistance.
This is briefest outline after a 15 year Odyssey.
In short, I was publicly humiliated/ crucified (irrelevant);
and privately destroyed, when my daughter was stolen 15 years ago – January
2010. After living with her dad for 10 years.
An added irritant (shame being the REAL psycho killer) is
that my identity had been some years uk’s most successful child campaigner (NOT
‘for dads’ – the main legal change in fact benefited more single mothers being
wrongly persecuted by social services from 2006 than fathers)
https://www.simonclayton2020.com/p/media-on-cases.html
When all was lost for many years – not a word from said lass for 7.. miraculously two months
ago a fullest frankest wonderful reengagement began and was immediately fully
successful.
Literally a miracle (as child law / family psychology expert, this NEVER happens)
I need to do something with this story soon.
I have a new almost
‘summary’ of the whole story here – the more adult real version:
https://www.ralphschism.com/p/a-miracle.html
that is a not-entirely-private webpage
This next is a very private webpage which catalogues it for
a few close friends. Most messages and chats. Incomplete but there’s enough for
now.
Please respect that privacy for obvious reasons.
webpage: (the story of reengagement) APPLY, some already have it. it is....ralphschism.com/p/a**n.html
But almost starting with the first of those two pages, for
15 years - the odyssey, as I meandered
around people, even if exploring for
useful ‘causes’ - almost everyone being
some potential ally or to be part of some useful cause, what I know is that the
population can be divided into the masses and smaller subsection who deal in
and are unafraid of quite a few uncomfortable realities. To name but a few it
is extraordinary how when one has someone REAL attention – that sane person
under the bourgeois dumbed down façade, so many are affected by serious
life-changing false allegations. And
then skirting around various people of religious persuasion for 15 years many
when delicately pressed admit that religion became something SO selfish and
only self-centred. The second page refers to many supposed ‘friends’ who are
formally religious, yet never even THOUGHT to ask what they could maybe do on
behalf of my daughter – a standard human maybe needing ‘good works’ on this
earth.
There is much in this tale that is quite Orwellian. And as it has such a miraculous ending I hope
that I can roll out something that also says what is the REAL UK: acedia (defn:
of spiritual sloth). I operate only on one setting: to honour and celebrate our
younger people, give them the truth; every word of it. I have some wonderful
ones.
And yes a range of people I have engaged with some may say I
was ‘using’ them. A great example a year ago I attempted to nudge a range of
women I had randomly met over a few years
into writing. They had expressed to me a wish to speak out at some
level; on subjects that were their bees buzzing around their bonnets. I would
nudge and even berate them into taking it forward. The idea came to me to
attempt to nudge them into being in a group. All would have found some benefit.
But deep down it was always a case of if that succeeded then to invite my
daughter to also participate.
I am extremely literate (BTW according to extremely central
London human rights MA and attendee of the two most ultra ‘woke’ universities
Kings and UCL….woke is over – they have had enough, the 25 year and below
cohort). Books are my thing even if most went self pitying rubbish the last
decade or so in my opinion. Many agree with. (and no heroism – any sane society
needs)
Although I am a little huskish – that’s what 15 years as a
part-zombie does, I can rev if encouraged up and write the above quickly in a range of formats. Though I guess magical
realism (Marquezish or Candide ) or fable, is my favoured genre.
I don’t look at email 0795eight 526381 my contact 365 days a
year from 05.30… that’s what commitment means. Even if the love was damaged
beyond repair, and lost forever. Until it wasn’t
Regards Simon Clayton
(it could even be anonymous… Belle Du Jourish… the story is
all that matters)
A miracle pt 2 substack only (but what is a 'man' ? - gender politically, in REAL life - not their limited imagination)
SOONER OR LATER
It's kind of weird being 'us'... if anyone googles my daughter's name she knows there is a story. It has been all her adult life (there aren't many ECs in the world)
Thing is there is a good story.
I think even she will think deep down it may have legs. And as she seems very heterosexual and likes men... enough to live with a fine sounding one for 4 years...
And she also doesn't have a tv, valuing only books...
I must try.
quick sketch video. Merely
