Thursday 20 April 2023

That Black Swan

 ...... note to self:

Life is full of extraordinary surprises.

But the problem of the 'curators' of the soul

All akin to Eckhart charging is toll

They all think they will know how the 'feel' after an event

A 'change'; an adjustment in life

Two per chimney perhaps - a change that can never happen as i have seen so so ften 

overthe years..

Because of all this 'knowing' what we are.

Which is only a dull form of self regard - clearly the pandemic 15 years ago.

As guess what, came along.

The pretend 'friend'. 

Curated into a list.


Anyway less of that - never my life.

But changing in respect of habits we need to change

So as to save the planet

blahh di blahhh....all of it

Never ever ever believe anyone who says they know the key

the steps, even the 'types' of 'love'

Because this is ALL that happens.

In notebook months ago.


Certainly compared to earlier societies

We avoid, we disdain, we consider ourselves diferent

We would never dream of sharing, giving, letting someone have even a pee in our field

We are atomised, extremely prejudiced against all sorts of others.

We politic, we battle for our smallest piece of territory.

But we also 'pair up'. 

One person just a little different we chose to share all with

Even their pee spatters.

All. 

We understand that two people being fed by one cycle of an oven, is sane.

We understand that another person to drive one somewhere when one of the old bangers fails, is great.

Two people with only a few things in 'common' become "We"

It makes no sense 

There is no formula 

No one should ever make any money out of this madness. 

But it is beauty.

And not quite a Black swan.... 

they are this but on drugs - when something is "IMPOSSIBLE...! NEVER EVER EVER NOT IF ...dot..... not if you were the....dot dot dot...[they always have their reasons  - define the current era - the reasons get more and more expertly bossy and utterly bullshit nonsense to a  real mind.]."

And it urns out that 'change' was exactly the thing that yes evolved you..in a good way...

which - knowing the above, BEing a very active environementalist 7+ years...the people - all, every single one, not understanding the above, is WHY... the environment will never ever be 'saved'

But only a real fool, blames politicians or even large rapacious corporations

For what even a not very educated person, me, worked outyears ago as the problem (and did do 5+years of nice friendly chummy speeches about face to face: you

he insane person  does not accept, total forever failure.

I am not

That is my real 'schism'.


The sad thig is it is more than pandemic - i have experienced wealth and many well of comfortable existences. 

And read may good sane books - literature

I mean in the 1800s MANY writers knew that wealth is never ever ever any good - contented, peaceful humble existence so much richer,  And a simple life so so so much happier and less stressed.

But Moral Maze February this

no one can even rememberhttps://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001hx7t that wisdom that has been around since before the bloody bible for gods sake

there is no hope.

unless my memoirs - still only for one person who asked me for my tales of simple life,  take off...

But before that is even slightly on the horizon, one has to remind oneself ALL accolade, ALL outside admiration, ALL success, all smiley thanks, are utterly irrelevent. The only thing that ever matters in REAL life, is the mood towards you and actions of, you SHARE your life, with. In person.

Which of course is all that dull words like 'narcissism' really mean.... a lack of that.... half decent balanced ongoing daily compromise, at home...