Thursday 15 June 2023

the waste....


wow... i said there was 'movement' although i only yearn for my old sit up and beg rusty bike... five years only on that - paradise...

and TRULY good for THEMIX - it changed my life that, too poor to be able to afford a motor five of the last ten years - that isn't poor, that is really being rich..

(the scanner would think chip: the problem with greens, and all egalitarians - poor Ash sakar doesnt have a hope... if you live among the wealthier as i did long enough  - though ran off with the poor, and shagged far more...cos the rich babes are so awful in bed it is pitiful...humble poor women only...
the few waitrose bags and real rich... couldnt get a ferret hard in the rutting season when he will rape all day and night for weeks even his scrawny sister..
i know
ferrets MUST have sex (female) once a year or they die...
so that was being kind to her!!
ok the screams were.. keeping the neighbours up at night...

and ... 

tough love
real life
she looked smug after .. the week he had her neck in his teeth and wouldnt let go
or was it her dad i forget
i kept her alive
life is ONLY a compromise
, then you know the answer - the rhetoric... "PITY the rich greedy ...[consumer]... [of half the families known in my weird childhood  - Welsh nonsense nope both...on the fence... i shall come back to that another day....islands, one an island always one...get use to it...and accept the only child - she is what she always is..cannot know how not to be other..]... the marriages are almost always more tempestuous, their children are on average more damaged... especially as it was in the 80s by the hard stuff - largely hard booze, but gradually the hard sniffy stuff... never mind mental health... pity them... and i am quite serious.. i knew many also in a  roundabout way    from m20s in my own world...NOT ONE.. never..had bright eyes.. bright eyes are only from telling ALL the truth...all...all ones truth... by default the 'rich' can never do that - even the playing at being 'poor'..or homespun, they have to 'reserve the [secret back of their mind] right'... to maybe one day need to go back to some rich persons thing like private dental..or dads funeral with all the great and good gathered  - not much different in reality to a Balkan mafia gig, ...and i mean that - my my my own father's and thank god he had spazzed away every penny...

thye simple life - i NEED to get to now as all i care about is nice handwriting and that has been too hurried. As i believe in 5 day long weekends at ones birthday..even if in a hidden cove alone with the seals....

that was funny - i broke in by accident looking for a marked (ordnance survey map) pathway.... wandered the whole place - but i don't cheat, i never paid the entry fee - even if the price paid 50m my that chair - symbolic but ..a decade the lass and i had one...of course the tackiest thing in the world is a camping chair. BUT  a bit of spare cash 5 years ago... why not have a look if thety do them on ebay - having often scoured the shops... as the ten year iused one so so lovingly worn out...

and bingo!

i was saving thjat to give to my daughter one day - she would remember it as it was THE THING THAT DEFINED US...


anyway forget all that - just the other side of thje creek - i like this creek! this side so much quieter ..on holiday hahh hahh..

far faster upload.

oh yes the 'waste' - in fact my schism was always planned. SORROWFULLY.... YEARS I WOULD SEE AS A REALLY GOOD ROTTEN OLD WOOD RESTORER oops done it time to fix

yes fixing... repairing old rotting shed roofs, fences...

and much more was the waste... BECAUSE ALL I (USED TO - NO POINT NOW the Tolle brigade - by the way i have three wise women - the superbrained psychologist - though very mermaid too last eve... ok British, speaking to my recorder about yes how he is seriously ill and has done so so much damage to once sane women..)

simple - all thde Waitrose-Tiolles invade ... none can actually cooperate with a bloke in the land... never xseen it happen. Even when they are left at home hubby still belting back and forth lONDON ((SHE LIES THEY DONT NEED)


 to fix and not WASTE old fencing etc..a woman CAN do just as well as a man ... though i have yet to see one follow through "i can do that myself.." well i have the tools!

one must be day in and out around the land... often theswe are two people jobs some of the time - moving around old gates.. or holding posts (as i would do for years with my beloved old attachment Ralph the first...)

But there is also chat..banter..or if one were lucky enough to find one witha  brain who knew what 'hiaeth' opr ascetic meant...(Portuguese so so much more alive - it is NOT finished..yet)even a really good chat about something that isnt narcissistic bullshit, like who is more narcissistic..

Arendt! Oedipus... what are the great films.. blah di blah... 

nope... not only do few blokes wish to be slaving away day after day alone... Mrs Good Life.. lasted about 3 weeks...

It is also the actual physical waste. The fences, old veghicles... so mucgh i have seen ..skipped.. that two people diligently working away at least some of the time.. can fix, reuse..  save money by keeping going rather trhan buy a new motor every 10 years...

there is far far more eco waste caused by the complete inability for 99% of small scale land or even old wooden hulks ... out of the water for months or years... because it takes a team of 2 + day in and out to keep it al;l ship shape..and even FUN!

nope i saw that nearly impossible in ordinary rural laqnds over the years...

so that is the true schism. Started with Mister rural... though i never got to write about it due it seems 100% inability to ever be human and mean anything if on The Book.. 

speaking of which. relating.. the art of..

Lietature was for that.

And great drama.

UK was finished i knew when i heard this on the wireless - what love sounds like... simply the best - reality... life sucks and we suck at it but two heaqds are better than one - simply extraordinary writing and performance...

i still remeber every pause...i knew then it was teh ANSWER..

but second time of hearing, phoning up the man himself - we chatted him on the tube... he didnt actually egt what i was talking of when i said "peter i have listened almost every 2.15 radio 4 play for 30 years its how i educated myself..intuil they all went self pitying wank 5ish years ago..mate your piece [Mike walker excepted] ... was what we needed all along - genius... nothing like it for 10 years.."

he didnt even care to remember really his great work never mind tghink it wasw in deed important...

what love sounds like
A HELPMEET so beautifully word pictured it is daft
and fuck anyone who doesnt agree
you are ignorant philistine with NO artfulness about you at all

and do not think this has even started.. i have hours of truly fabulous fables by ferret rape porn...
there are scenes of me working fixing things surrounded by glass sheets (6ish years ago)

THAT was the TRUE BODILY 'simple' life best lesson of all
living in a hellhole  - weatherwise..very weathered
all my outdoor workbenches (reclaimed from skips)
 having reclaimed a conservatory some mermaid was chucking away...huge thing...she wanted it taken no bloke to be with her making the most of it .. enough fOR a greenhouse even..

so i laid large panes of glass all around over my old desks.. then i realised
fuck me..i REALLY have to be aware of every bodily wrong hit with a hammer, slip of the leg sawing ..or chansawing.. gash my calf, dead...(because the rural man will if a piece of glass zooms up to the carotid... * and FAR more important a waste of intact glass

and within just a few weeks i became so absurdly was the greatest pleasure i have had for years..
and doesnt leave you. t