If only it had ended at Coleridge...a splendid poem
minus the godifying 'god'..
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b09r3ng4
of the stories, one day... among them will be the completely universalised denamed story of three weeks from early May this year such hard work attempting to get a forty year old woman on track.
Universally, lost..
For every well spoken ex resident of Hampstead and able to afford the check in at some fancy UK ashram in the Home Counties, on mummy and daddy's money, and then be in an Indian version preferably before even 25...and get to Be with actual Lotus plants in the 'wild'... there are 100 Peps...
lost in India pretending on Fakebook they are on the spiritual pathway to nirvana...
But after eight years of that cannot even deal with working out whether or not they were ACATUALLY kiddy-fiddled with by dad ..or able to consistently remember that they actually were badly deserted by alcy mum who certainly 'traumatised' rumpusised...
And half the time admits their whole mind made paranoid by the 'mild' dope smoked every day for 20 years.. and half the time have great 'awareness'. so much so that cannot even figure out whether or not to put a very old man as only child, their job..(if they do want the £500k property) .. making legal simple arrangements for his dementia demise
And one should riff ultra poetically on that because it is standard - ubiquitous... the runaway " ehh truth not all my experiences were lotusish.." but the one who gets top speaking slot of course denies anything other than 'sacred' lotuses exist...such as a whole country of VERY with it hustlers "ohh Pep my beloved.." for the 30 or 40 years .. until inevitable granny Sigh needs a crisis life saving op...and Pep will always have more loot.
But within a duff fake dangerous denial in all these ideologies-for-show...that never helped Pep..
Though it is the way over three weeks i approached 5 or 6 REALLY goody goody local good burghers to shadow me with difficult extreme emotion ( a week i had to take her up a hill to scream out her painful stories day after day)..having on day 1 made a film to her camera "under no circumstances can i ever receive one penny from you or daddy's estate or mum if she wangles it back ever and if i ever do please have me arrested for manipulation coercion or whatever fashionable word for grabbing loot when i must assist for no money...ever... and if we do the right thing and get him to the home you give me first refusal on my fourth offer of 'fix my daddy's house' in three years in your case £8 an hour as at least we can talk about other cultures while i am on the job and youre not a bigot even if a fool...... one of which ever come to owt but... i know your fucked up and no one else will even try to help"
yes its the 5 or 6... said to me, looked me in the eye...early April into May... " yes we will find best councilor for the poor bird... we believe you shes no crim...and believe the story...innocent REAl victim of=r Mr and Mrs standard serious 8/10 dysfunction.." but not one followed through in any way,.... they're the dystopia.. real dysfunction
And to me the truly interesting undercover in full view... stories that i know are everywhere and matter - the lotus vendors just get in the way.. the snake oil merchants... well if you are fool enough, but the 100% bourgeois 'good' people -even two very active church figures, absolutely promising to come up with 'services' for the woman...and not one even called back or came to see me...
that above all is dystopian and somehow worthy of real art... good job i take a lot of snaps ONLY on themses...my fave is illusion, or two faces or just simply being UNABLE TO CARE...
sad that...
weird thing about me, is that despite a family background that on the face of it may cause it not to be so...
i am good at...just AM...someone who can feel myself in another's REAL life experience...
can actually transplant my head onto their body
byut really,....reason to never again speak with any Brit ohh my my the new fashion of every woman you ever meet now calls herself an 'empath... i could certainly make an artwork out of photographs of the very very empathically besrk messaging when one suggests a walk....
It is worthy of a whole joke book how if someone is seriously congratulated for a really good poem - not with a thumbs up, but 5 lines of words...a para...graph...an 'empath' cannot path that one means it and its all that matters...no a path gets on the assuming pathway so ...well its sick. Is the end ...but is funny...
And thats the end until i spend money on 50gb more data..
cos that at the library even at dawn when everyone's asleep is so slow its ...taken all weekend just to load some videos..
and write the best messages of my life, but in Britain writing to someone trying to learn as one writes about oneself (stadard for a billion years and maybe offer useful words to them in the process...no thats some code violation of their code of lotus soup well wait for the real ricochet in economic downturn....
its all just about not wanting to work...shelf stacking at Lidl..
fair dinkum but say so!
fact - havent had a 100% authentic conversation in this aisle for decades...
one can with the Krauts..or even still with some French... even some GREAT Italians of late and i am always wary of them... "mamas boy nuthouse BUT...you have the one true intellectual in Europe in La Grande Belazza that he could deride his own people so beautifully as decadent and dodgy... no Brit artist can do that... and tus we are lost.."
"its all a blah blah blah... but al least they understand also as does Jep... woman and man is the most important ingredient in the solar system at least ...with or without lotus flower flavouring..."
But it as if Britain wishes to be in total denial of this matter...and i am not talking about the 3,5%
Anyway all i know i have never heard or read anything that really goes further ...updates this lacking and ancient thing called zen
thats my purpose though i may never find the words...i have lived boduily the real knowing of it.. thats the true beauty and real thing of being almost at death several times.. the colours and sensations and blowings of the winds do remain more vivid and alive....always...
And this one needs so little... bit thus sterile atomised life seemingly everyone in UK seems to almost aspire to... is far far less than little its nothing...
may as well be dead
