Monday 27 November 2023

"She 'll fix 'im..."

 Florentino's mamma thought.

White lying her way to moving the widow in.


Ehhhh....no......


So nice to see the widow again.

And she was shocked; but having a good excuse to be in shock....  then. Three months ago. 

Now it is three months on.

She knows I was right.

And i know how to fix her...


I hope she remembers some of it. It was my own 'proof' of being fixed and rebooted. 


XXXXX


She lingered again.

Like then.

Lingering an hour...

(it's on the cctv)

A masterclass in even i do not know what. Caused two strangers to be stood in the sceptic aisle of Lidl... an hour. The electricity i could'v charged 5 free car batteries on it... the nuclear fusion..    two sets of eyes burning into each others soul artfully relating what no one else dare relate as they may as well be still life mugshots.

"... ehh... twenty years ago something happened....and although it has the most remarkable silver lining to it - still ongoing, if the rogue cop behind it ever read my memoirs  he would either jump off a big bridge or come and hunt me and chuck me off one.... but then there's another which is gradually i realised, though i never wish it and have no earthly idea what good there is in it, i have a pretty accurate intuition about what is inside people.... even the sulky one loved who like a siren [ we shall come back to that whirloool soon] pulled me to the shitcreek from the second she sent more than 3 lines......maybe thats why she hates me...  but you ... i mean its amazing they havent sent for the fire department .. i noticed management skirting around us unable to know how to deal with this 'incident' ....and skulking off our combined energy far far too much like something real, they've ever seen before... but ... half an hour...we've covered everything there is to cover... no coyness no English stiltedness body neurosis... self hatingness

" not for one millisecond wouldi have guessed there is ANYthing wrong for you..... never mind that you buried the longlasting love of your life on bloody Monday.....i am...

"...i am.... not going to be 'speechless',

" nor apologise for taking us  on this waltzer ride ...  because you were there willingly too....

"and that you are, still.... is a tribute to something in you that is impossible to find anywhere ever any more... your tango is .... forget that fancy pantsin', show off prancin..... purest purest ...soul"


even if the widow fixed me a bit

In the great book....  

Nobody fixed the Flozz... nor could they... nor should they.... when a man knows exactly what and even why.... he is already fixed.


I saw two familiar faces today. (she was impressed....I even remebered her name...immediately..) 

Now i am ready. I needed three months being humbled and half whipped by a little maybe microbe....or hex... either way, absolutely bingo what the doctor ordered: time to mull. Mergolate... I could have sworn i had used my word in some other blogsite or webwaffle...(no google hits when it was sent from the fairies 4 years ago...so bizarrely...such a perfect word.... MINE!) . seems not... or is there one 'hidden' i have forgotten about....