Monday 18 December 2023

in fact ...

 that almost sums it all up...

as per our wonderful chat.

Poor women..my age group.... in this sad land ( yout poor dad ruinrd by too ...even if his age group sure were world champion ruiners of the enlightenment)


Females ( cancel 'femimine' it dont exist..except in the ladt few years new groupings of women going on  new trendy expensive retreats rather than do something about their kids being unable to even afford a dog kennel...)


 always some lost overcompensatory nonsense agenda rather than simple facts. In fact here is the 'love story' we both believe in.

A picture of an unopened whatsap to ones only beloved child. 

( the one above ...i engage with fraud spammers for fun..i have yet to defraud one of the fraudsters but maybe one day ) 

A year ago i would not have even told anyone of that message... i would have only felt sorrow and draining enuii.. 

 grounhogs gnawing irritatingly  at my soul...for years...

 hidden away just in my own abyss... me and em for years.... almost shame. 

Because of only one notEnglish woman...and one year in time...

 i can, a year on, just stick it here as.. without a slightest  feeling

.... whatever it is ...but it doesnt hurt. And i know i should share all...  in fact its not 'sharing' ...silly word....  its life as art or something.. who knows how to label... but its worth the telling

Thats real 'therapy ' ... but none of them ever seem to be able to magnanimously  just accept... just shut up with their controlling and dodgy  personality curating duff opinions, off their lousy internet...  guru nonsense run by weird stupid childmen.... rather than propper artists and writers...

just accept with honour and grace

their place

in that change

just accept no one understands how, but THEY...they have real good in them ..their spirit... that does cause actual real change...

has in me

But it had to be a "warrior",  even if a stuck one.. to cause me ever to .. let go and ...  be what i wanted to ... Be

Now free


But no... they cannot believe in just the magic of

 them...

 sharedthem... they must never share themselves,  the real mad  wonderful unknowable... for which thrre are no terms....its always with abyone in this stuck society only ever on their terms.. the exact opposite of being human

and love whatever the hell that is they cannot believe in love as the only real force there is

bit it may not fit in some dodgy Eckhart talk.... cos real love is bigger than a universe of talks.... puts pipsqueek human in his place...

naked

nothing

next to it