Saturday 16 December 2023

what a great walk

 ... those kinds of walks where you really  mull enjoyably in the 'soft' mizzle"

" what does 'bulletproof' really mean? ...

" a hard one.. i need a better word"

Maybe facts  are better than  silly guru Eckhart heartless men telling people what to be with smiley weasel words.... when i bet they darent tell their truths

their stories.

Because only stories are us and are human.

Mine, only one person knows, but i bet she never told her daughter that actual truth: 

" the year before you were born...i went to stay with your dad.. us kindof .. ehh not really 3rd base .. just heavy petting a fair bit when we had been together in Poland a bit...  he asked me to come to England... for the obvious reason.... first night i arrived we are quietly in front of his little fire in the extremely little  rundown rented cottage in the hills... and i broke down crying telling him i thought i was pregnant from a recent liaison..

".... i thought he would be least peeved.... even angry many men may have been... or agitated,  caught out....upset....

  "but he said without a hint of even sadness.... he didnt mind and would happily ...take me with someone elses child  and no one else need know...

"before even he had had a pop....and he kept to his word .....without ever refering to it again...ever... even if it  turned out a little later maybe i had got my facts wrong.... "

blessem all.. 

and all i know  with their ' words' these children.... all they do is chip away at you, with their  bitter little assumptions,  and even i forget who i am..and was... a long time ago i had forgotten even that ratger germane moment.. but i dont have false memory syndrome that i know gor sure