A few days ago, it- the first godlike insight, starts and ends ...an audio.
Not sure if i can be bothered to check and bleeep
and up load
Ethereal, guruish, expensive lifecoach menuish, nonsense, but at least my copyright aphorism is true, even if i cannot recall the truth in it, as it is visceral corporeal and bodily:
Only in a state of full real committment, is one fully free.
( Came into my mind, before her splendid critique, aside ' our' rock, of too much dam choice)
And another:
you must own your own
loss.
Trickier to expand upon, but the losers, those whom have lost* in time perhaps 'get' it...
Especially as how other peeps often do chip away at ones personal real ' lived experience', story....
own, hold on to
storytell to the Self
The actual one that was.
Still is.
In my own case
( a definate quay
to dying happily)
Dawn today or a bit after
Body clock perfectly reliable
set to two hours before the bus
Pondering how, yes
every small shock,
even horror
( but never horror films)
was all good.
Every moment, even in the lethal undcurrent
Of smock
or ( non Norwegian) so called justice room
like her, did not 'traumatise' but somehow helped
Live, more alive.
Freely in fact
And i know why
real experience
( not rediculous holiday-adventure ' experience')
is the only way we really learn
And learn to understand others'
life experience that is not our own
And thus fear, less
Certainly never for a moment even have visceral real, " exasperation"
Even if it is the shortcut word i chose as neutralish explanation
Of how i never really
' respond'
or care
About others' psychodramas, to me only ever rather bizarre..
* loss.
I kindof forgot.
Did i say somewhere here
lasteryear?
there are only 4 states of
"human"
1 prior any actual child love/ care ongoing in ones life... neices dont count. Be ing... the one that makes real ongoing decisions for them, is caring.... parenting. All the rest, play...
2. post. if you are really that it is as if ones DNA is twisted, tweaked... one never reverts to pre childcare DNA, and it doesnt have to be your own genes
3. Pre REAL ' loss'
4. post. never again the same mind and being as in the preloss state. Usually resulting in years of on and off bowell-twisting ' grief'... a real thing.
But 'loss' is not the fake Helen is for Hawk version... loss is not of a parent more or less lived their lifespan. It is only death or total loss of child, or beloved established partner....
i.e. loss of someone in ones new next generation
now-family unit. Ones little personal node of the herd humans must go out and form away from the origional node of them being raised.
But i guess too it can also be loss of ones many many year partner to.... another? I guess the same total permanent mindbody effect.
The 4 states, of course can overlap. But i know of no other real " change" ...
so " dm me for ...[ it]",
i knew, deep down, is Miss Guided.... and rather sad... as only real hell does at least weld your feet to this rather splendid ground....it's good to walk upon....
( but not enough)
Even in a swamp of endless bullshit
The End
