That'sa point,
I shall deliberately leave that appo in the wrong place to make the point:
that is almost unmakeable....
But she knew the point....
(there being few better examples of an actual artiste, coming up with perfection, and they get brainwashed into not even knowing, at the time, nor Now ....
Now.... to hear one constructively critique, so so intelligently and at length being one cannot and must not ever use one sentence about anything real, at least three are required ..." in book one she's a bit of a fake, smallest thing wrong with her and she's off to the whorespittle... [ 'never mind a REAL homeless tramp cannot afford to be a 'Pastie Munchin Cretin' along with the PMCs as they're so ridiculous overpriced its daft... Mr and Mrs Winn i believe had several evenings at least Cretinously Munchin' em'....] ... her second and third books were in fact better...." is Paradise but not quite Saudade as i think there is an age limit, must be closer to ones own...
Anyway hearing Cyndi on the wireless it reminded me of her greatest one, no one else knows is her greatest not even her...
And as soon as all the bleedin Gwerkians go and codify, monetise and all that odd job mumbo jumbo, the 'metamaybe' or maybe not ...
They ruined ittoo
life...ordinary weird life even when one really has let go.... 100% ....
Even if I am world expert at being 'both' ... uhhh ohh what does that mean as if one makes an actual claim one has to have actually 'lived' ones claim....
And that requires carefully crafted story that is believable (unlike Mister Shantaram, sorry a glorifying people dying of being junkies, and then also later on requiring the whole world wipes all trace of him off their browser, and feed.... are both suspect) oops i am already in brackets and dont have the power to go and make it more perfect...yet
both, 100% practical and organised, and also 100% 'romantic' in the best possible sense which is....sort of trusting to something, except on a cold rainy morning here .. there is no conceivable way anything may "come up" Mister Micawber...
oops i forgot Cindy
But there's a reason for that as I think i have the right word at last...it worked even on the hardest nut of them all, trying to tell me her mate had some "Pepysian" chronicle of 2020...
" but Suzi i know one thing...no disrespect as i liked her..... but I know she won't have what we need from that day with you [pl]... bright eyes, good backbone for age..... is it, her oeuvres, going to have innit BOUNCE...?
" you know that's what so so few managed to retain or even develop afresh..... bounce.... and you know that only one person all around had it, and 'balls', too... even to face down you....
" being i have changed my mind... even last year 'no way are the gatekeepers going to allow a BOUNCY book on 2020.... that tells of quite a few new actual real 'love's or dangerous social work attempting to keep alive a few who frankly deserve to bounced over the cliff.... even if i wouldn't wish a REAL bad cold on anyone, even ..(it is hard but on balance i think in a way i was right.... actually errata i still don't know but a rare partially ok Mister Harris on how DOGE is slashing and burning all the 'institutions, dad' .... as if a deaf and blind* man wandering down a fast train track the wrong way weeding in between by hand ....
nope bad allegory ...
my problem is i actually LIVE my words....and even got quite good at it....
In person.
But that is another story, with believable proofs, i have pledged to the only one who matters, One Day to get down to except there aren't any angels who have QUIET parking lots next to their free sockets...
[it is that word 'quiet' i never knew just how Unquiet so many minds were until i even volunteered to do the bogwork no one else would do...lastersummer)
so...if one were granted only one slightly noisy track to take with one walking another 1000 km of The Track....
That has the right 'bounce' innit....
The meaning of life, is even a decade ago had it wouldn't have elicited, an ACTUAL "bodily" feeling of manifestly true blissy rapture and joy and bounce.... real bounce for no money and no special yoga mat required..... .... [there is no hope, unless she writes her charity store book]....
And somehow...NOW... even Now.... it is [ i hate their word 'visceral' its so so officious and sounds like someone has put a lanyard on just to peer at you down their bespectacled nose just to battle you with their 'professional' wordy word, when it gives you an actual hard on would be far more 'human'.... or to Bowdlerise things back to truth.... it has a real indescribable feeling of actual inner bounce far moreso than i may have felt even five years ago...
Now.... the worst thing ever is to meet ...ones 'reader' meaning ehhh if i actually ever did get around to what i have pledged to do to the only one who matters ...
It would in fact be for her....
Almost the last one left alive who reads proper books, in the last place on earth one ever dreamed she may exist.
After being bureaucratically de"human"ated in the most wretched dump in the universe...
If only she knew... you cannot ever "connect" with anyone unless.... you are there.
Right ive got things to do...
And of course one doesn't know who to believe but i know there are universal standards of what truly has BOUNCE in the best possible way ... which includes absolutely universal time immemorial themes ... but a wry rather sweet kind of whacky humour
Wikipedia says this the film voted Top of The Serbian Pops in a recent poll... without any doubt even if rather sexist-piggery and pig-cruelly
only one woman among a cast of ensembled chaps and she just gets her titties out and 'taken'
twice
And i guess for sure the animal safeguarding these days may be a bit of this century...
But the most extraordinary little thing....
I don't know what to think of it... except what a curiously interesting cultural construct [ i am happy, note to self, she uses the right word 'meme' that was quite impressive for a youngster] of a peeps..., I cannot get a grip of and i am good at that, never mind all the rest in the world so dull, and trying to perform something to some playbook, this lot are rather wonderfully bonkers and thus actually "human"
Maybe i have to hitch there after all..... wonder where that empty rotting house is?..... maybe squat.... or perhaps they don't have that word in that there is something genuinely of the common good in a certain way i cannot put my finger on...
ohh yes... manoeuvres
Now even if we agree on something or in fact i didn't put it maybe the best way which is Orwell i just don't quite trust as his 'philosophy' is a bit too murky; one doesn't know quite what he believes in. A lot like almost ALL these modern day so called public intellectuals - from Mister Kisin to their silly Jordan who believes he is immune from the two or three Valium get you hooked and make you ill quite soon, 'learnings' sensemaking we knew of age about 16 ... none of them know what to believe in as they talk too much, about nothing much.... one exception, she needs to talk more...
I haven't even started yet, as one "cannot say that " yet.... his Down and Out in Paris and London rereading it lasteraugust (that so glorious month i have yet to chronicle proper) and then lending it to someone....
The idea that someone like that would be special-needing your kids....
But of course you cannot say that.... anyway Georgy in Down and Out did the world a service for sure most believably chronicling the actual reason so many roofless men wanted to remain roofless, knowing the way their fellow man behaved towards them .. the ones in charge of supplying the roofs...
Just simple chronicle of fact-story over a reasonable period of time... from 'inside' for a reasonable period of time in fact it sounded like he didnt really have access to emergency cash, really was hungry for longish periods...
Thing is by his real life story he did explain without ever appearing to, why....
But what is...(fast forwarding six months to the now-theme ) actual 'equality'? What is one real actual difference between wo/man and the sexual politics of the age all dull last fifty years of it?
Well i know one fact which is that for ten years... especially the last few.... 1/3 of the time quite deliberately setting out with no plan, to do nothing... except see what one encounters and chronicling it from the 'inside' even if for a reason only one, always - to know who really is behind the masks... and the Orwellian wandering approach does work even if in his culturally constructed age there are different social mores at play...
It is the best of modes without a doubt, sort of Flâneuring with ostensible purpose but unclear real purpose behind the journey, except the 'learnings' that you cannot learn where to go or why things do just come up...
On manoeuvres....
Even now, only a male "human" can really adopt this mode.. ("free" is anathema but still there is something in freewheeling to some extent) .. women ones are still culturally constructed to have aims and stated plans and plots and purpose.
No woman could say "i'm off on manoeuvres " and it be thought genuinely a fine way to be and learn and even maybe find maybe magic...
No Direction Home as you forgot what 'home' was...and know it's only cultural con
which is entirely a sexist oink oink of a culturally constructed cage .... even the freest "bird" i saw stuck within...
oh well....
* who was also immune to "vibrations"..or sees 'through' them, being there is without a doubt a Peterson-Tolle rule of life which is that if someone has a bumper sticker saying " only good vibrations here" one can rest assured you won't get any actually peaceful rest around that person....
