And you cannot have everything, or in fact nothing much at all, which is the very best way to 'process' the smelly albatross once more around ones neck. Job done.
At least i ..... sometimes find a wilderness of sweets....
But you cannot have everything, which is very good for you: a week of sublime days but down below zero at night, and until ten am .... means not only cannot one write anything - fingers too wooden, but batteries discharge far more quickly.
But then that's good as the minds eye is there for a reason..long ago i discovered. And still longish nights are for another.
One day i shall perhaps have the necessary quiet... ( I don't mind the "prostitution", it is the noisiness - everyone must visit to noisily 'be' something, to perform some role or activity or image, and my my they need to be seen 'being' something....... me, i respond well to nothing.... just nature.... and nothing much else.... and a rare inspiring mind...
..... now ... i never had the 'time'-time to settle also into Mister Paradise.... or even the Ancient Mariner. ( at last an artist who agrees the sea is so limited ... people create actual 'art'.... in the tension and guess what, change... and in fact only just got around this week to going over some Conrad, properly.... and i wander around like the Ancient one high on a bad smell " ahh hahhh but they STILL have 'life affirming' literature in Europe [ Reader on the 6.27, Pereira Maintains and a few others]... but perhaps the most life affirming of all....
But what does life affirming really mean..?
Now i can word picture, mind'seye-pictiure, define saudade...
Simply.
I must soon get to work.
After all i did promise her.... little Albie.....
But soon..... even iof it is SO hard - i never realised, to just get simple work for someone and not be endlessly sucked into the vortex of their UNQUIET minds....
Which i am a world expert at avoiding.... but it does
"distract..."
Shame as i can fix nearly anything.... in return for a quiet base.... quiet....
All i really wish is to get fully into a bit-of-poetical maybe even "narrative poem"ing at dawn.... i am always up and ready for action, no matter what
Lost...
