this webpage made mid oct 2024.
( awork in progress, collecting this material for the wider common good as estrangement still seems a taboo / total shame thing that is hidden so often - i had terrible shame myself for many years. Only 2020 - due the extreme vibe of that time, did i start to open up to ANY new encounter i made almost by default; and even start to make jokes about it.... the shame crucifies you... it did me so much good to at least be open about it all at last)
The big letter - attempt at writing to estranged lassie the big grown up adult letter, 3 years ago, is even published here https://leftovers2022.blogspot.com/ in one of the pages indexed along the top.... in fact several versions - the initial lightweight (diplomatic version ) which was then added to later on with a bit more last ditch attempt at truth-talk.... .... those pages - the communications, were ghosted as usual...but all was published openly there around 2 years ago...)now added to a little with an update 1 Dec 2024 and 10 dec at the bottom
(BUT ... 15 years NO one has ever helped me one bit... REALLY putting everything into fixing it- 80% of my WAKING HOURS... for 15 years means one never has a penny in ones wallet... or worse...but not one person (100s acquainted with ALL of whom i always told the story certainly from 2020..and 90% of my friends are female..platonics.... not one ever said 'do you need to use my conservatory and a plug to sit quietly and think and write [to her].." we have an ONLY selfish and self obsessed society. (i did many unpaid dangerous voluntary 'family assistance' almost interventions over 17 years i no idea why i bothered...so i don't even have time to fully finesse this page yet as the cornwall libraries are full of mad people and those who also have no idea how to behave - quietly - so its still a mess and maybe i should leave it so as UK cares about nothing and is only in love with failure and sickness... everyone i ever meet - despite their painted on smiles )
15ish Oct 2024 it begins
there is a purpose to this page....some may find it creepy.. i know what using hard stories for GREATER good is... it is also my own faith.
it is unfinished.
This webpage alone holds the 'story'. It is a quick sketch mainly through messages and also recorded calls.
I started to make a new more stand alone version 18 dec 2024 here https://www.ralphschism.com/p/a-miracle.html
Why all the recordings shared, and even a webpage itself? Well even if rather a dull subject in and of itself, the near 15 year odyssey with many genuine engagements with acquaintances along the way, seeing if they could assist me in this quest - always for mutual benefit as the above audio describes, THE story is I'm afraid how much of my time was wasted - excruciatingly so, by maybe-friends. And thus for efficiency - to save my time so much spent on this, a LONG time ago i began the habit of recording even all my calls the thinking being that maybe i say something to one person and if - when..... they drop out... i don't have to repeat the whole conversation with some new acquaintance. Often just send them the first recording... not creepy, essential.
That's the real cost of an all encompassing long long journey like this one has been.
A second long recorded call a few days ago confirms the miracle - all is perfect
(still to upload - this page finished by 3 or 4 Dec...if ANYone ever is authetntic enough to say ' you can plug in ours a bit if you need...i moved to the meanest most self obsessed dump in this horrid land of acedia... great word C by the way....)
there are millions of estrangements ongoing in uk
FAct: 99.9999% never ever get fixed. Fact...
almost no estranged kids EVER reengage... most even decades later even in their older age say they couldn't and it causes many lifelong pain.
There are various more well known lifelong traumas such as having a child wrongly taken by services, or even other almost situationally losing a child - maybe due a long imprisonment. But those are in a way unavoidable or out of the control of child/parent - a pure estrangement almost feels voluntary (even when it is as a result of others' bad acts such as this situation) ,almost a choice and is far far harder then to voluntarily bridge back into - usually both sides of the equation remain forever as if rabbits in headlight...
no one ever talks about them being fixed...
though i am bored to death of 'our' story - 15 years - 22 really,
this one maybe needs to be told...to assist others
(AND TWO CHARITIES one owned by 'prof rebecca bland' were fake - they were publicly stating they deal with estrangement (Bland on Woman's Hour i have a recording) when they do NOT - they take EASY money for merely offering 'support' to estranged kids age 16ish to maybe 22 or 3.... they offer no actual assistance there are NO stories of succeeding with helping estranged parents and children reengage..it is cheapest form of we-are-worthy-'charity' blackmail as in fact it is very easy to 'support' = point to council services etc, damaged kids who won't ever complain formally that the charity is in fact a sham...as so many are in Uk... they do not assist, merely fake it via google or media to make them LOOK worthy, because it is VERY hard - once a kid is estranged they have huge emotional / guilt / other issues... thats hard REAL work advising them...risky even.... there are NO stories to guide parents - or just as important friends who may care! how to maybe try to fix it... this one needs help airing ...VERY carefully...if you have been invited to this page please be very discreet and sensitive.... its private for now.... thank you...)
BUT there is also another parallel story - no one ever helped....ever ... even dozens of curchy people known - 5 different denominations...over 15 years...
and even worse! none of a few i still know and speak with often....NONE have bothered to say " how is it now going with E.. now you two back as NORMAL family" none...not one.... i am astounded...is this society only in love with failure and misery?
I still have a few weeks of messages (from mid nov) and a last call to add to this page... so many years gently hinting " you could offer to help if you... wish..." i mean 1000s of hours literally...wasted ..no one ever did .. i have often not much time or energy left to bother even editing anything...
but i will one day
nov 28
there is more to add - a few more recordings and messages...that shows the following was 100% successful and extraordinarily interesting
i know a great REAL story - though obviously for a short while this remains v sensetive...
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Amen - merely as... 'last word' on a 20+ year odyssey - but i know a good universally USEFUL story..
amen 1 https://www.ralphschism.com/p/amen1.html - two phone calls that REALLY summarise the background, and another (green but in a way related page)
there is amen2 a specific letter to someone but it is part of a cascade of events.
NB.. my 'philosophy, arrived at 20 years ago, maybe 21... but especially adhered to from 2010 is quite simple: ACT, always, as if the one obviously universal 'good' does come to pass no matter what the odds .. or attacks, or draining subtle undermining so often practiced by Brits.
'good' - must not be grandiose, too revolutionary, or narcissistic. It must be simple universal good most 'right thinking' people would agree with in principle.
I have for years operated under that (my) dictum in respect of eco work - seeking allies to DO things together - it never works - 100s sought and intelligently communicated with... they always go flaky but i ACT as if they engage as they first suggested they would and keep engaged.... In this case 'act' always (for 15 years) as if healthy recommencement occurred and there are no issues (there never were) and we could get on with a good mutual symbiosis over time... which always was my setting, but i knew over time it would be impossible.
...note i do not respond well, from 2010 January, chubby and or lazy middle class British women saying " she will find her way back" or making ANY platitudes to me.. all anyone can do in this society of acedia..no European would dare..
fact: 99.999% of the 2 or 3 million preteens genuinely traumatised every decade in this mad society by ' parental alienation', or just parents breaking court orders ( called 'child abuse' by Anthony Douglas head of CAFCASS...in the Torygraph 2013) or Stockholm syndrome with thumbscrews+.. in my daughters case... or terrible angst in horrid british family life ( got so much worse last 5 tears) end up with personality disorders or terrible mental issues or next seen with a heroin needle in their arm and a funny look on their face... this...below... did not happen as the facts say ...science data...says it cannot.
i knew 14 1/2 years.
a superquick first draft version
20 Oct 2024
not even detypod yet.... fifteen years 10s thou[ sic] pages emails websites...allies sought 100s messages... trying to get this fixed..never a helpful word back....
.....eyes gone wonky.
5 hrs work just in this
all digital this year
nb the reply... the voicenote
she never replied to anything ever in the past
INTRO
A private unnlisted webpage only a few inner circle are invited to ENJOY now..
maybe in time i roll it out a bit though of course this is sensitive so please respect privacy..if i invite you...
Suz first...
its cos i just thought you had a brain and soul... (my last 'hope' cos you said you liked poetry...)
then 2 Jos.. one a famous cancelled bish we NEED to be world famous as great example of... being stabbed in the back...and surviving...now TURN IT TO SOMETHING GOOD...and stop moaning
i never have... ever....
despite 10x your backstabbin', babe...
summary of the WHOLE story made 15 Oct 2024
appears in relatively short audio in the first link to a google drive filestore below.
(this is augmented by quite a few things in simonclayton2020.com and all sorts of UNIVERSAL observations in ralphschism.com....ALL is connected. Not in some divine skyfaery way merely all human morn-society action and INNaction and the disastrous widespread psychosocial disaster we became (THAT EU IS NOT IN) - it all comes down to one thing, obviously of a few societal changes the last 50ish years... at the root of much modern psychopathology is damaged familial attachments... i dedicated 20 years of my life to highlighting and legal change...all failed.
I am expert i know what i speak of.
(do NOT believe ANY UK psychologist in any way i went to the then best psych uni in UK UWE as mature student, left as they simply were dangerous and wrong...i had already years studied the few good minds and writers in those fields)
THis is not a polemic. MERELY a story.
NEVER ever say to me " good...well done... " i know of no one worthy of saying that to me... as no one ever helped.
Helping finesse this story now is a worthy thing. It is NOT one of "hope" it is a miracle the ferkin fairies gone and playin' a poke on me cos...i earned it.... a laugh.
religious (self pityist against biblical teaching which is to DO good works now on this earth and life) friends....try and get me funds to write it well...as universal..
(one VERY hard thing to put in it : HOPE hurts..it does... persistence...endurance... perhaps eventually may have a rewar but it is best to assume the worst as that is how you live on (always ACTING as if the best will happen - in my case never leaving the country, being on STANDBY 15 years for.. a kid who may be ready or need to chat)
.. the only line i need to work on)
intro audio
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1m2_rPJj9ws8FnQK2UyOlNfndnQ8Dugvw/view?usp=sharing
vid today - its kind of the end - footnote but should maybe be first...
And now.... sit back and LISTEN... to her REAL voice at last...
these are the voicenote sections of the whatsap stream that is also printed here below ( no other comms for 7 years except short very dysfunctional tragic one day text flurry august 2023)
oppressed so many years by YOUR horrid country: the milatarist folk around her who stole her 2010... hate what follows..
and they rather destroyed her attachment to me and more importantly did her head in...she knew dad won the biggest ever uk custody battle..in the High Court... publicly. She was not Stockholm Syndromed by me 2004-10.. often she would speak even to her own schoolfriends about how fairness after separation is good... out of my earshot.
yet mum (and the evil militarist stepfather) broke it...
But now...i had NO idea of this change in her in fact assumed the opposite 99% cert - a selfish person only had arisen in her (and even tjhat wouldn't matter as 5 years in Central London universities i also assumed ultra 'woke' and little chat would be possible, ever)....they will never forgive her for being a Pilgerite....ever... she knows that even if she may not yet say it...or maybe never...
And in 2010 did all sorts of evil deeds to destroy her and I
(once arrested - someone their household, for extreme malicious communications against me impostering my daughter telling me she hated me so much she had changed her name..
though you wont see that in your newspapers ..i have the emails from plod... they then hushed up made THEM look even more evil than they already were.... )
she has to live with all that ...
bravest girl goin' if you ask me...
under no circs must anyone contact her.... yet
THE STORY is almost all here - of all that matters: what next.
In a stream of a few written whatsap messages then a first ever audio and then a few more over the following week (i still thought i would lose her again)
but its the voice that is the story...
all are recorded here
in one audio file...
https://drive.google.com/file/d/11doFOma3Cj0mbJjtyieJNFg8oeJq_wsx/view?usp=sharing
then the very last audio message ...starts in here:
with a preamble that is going on my main website also ( all the rest super private)
first few minutes of last audio message received last night
and it all - those messages, means it's fixed...
no thanks to anyone else, ever ... your shit society
one day this story will put to shame in a way....
its really about that awful place called Hay...
sort of...
But universally that not even the best 'family justice' operators, many fine ..seemingly with it.. ever bothered to get grown up and help anyone ever... for real.
I was their pin up and part leader...none helped me..or i should say, her....
today... ( my work from 2003) there are millions, still stabbed in the back ( you can hear in her tears towards the end...not stabbed by me) ...
of young adults... probably 2 or 3 million
so warped by years of evil family war ( her landmark case as advertised 2005/6) was meant to help...why i went public.
it failed.
Nothing changed....except over a few years i realised it wasnt the "system".... it was always the parents and all those around British kids even neighbours, ministers...who let it happen. Do nothing...
And they .. the millions damaged....will be stabbing your kids, too ...one day
I hope not just with vexatious evil litigation ...
or falsely claiming they care ...like Social workers teachers all of them who do nothing ..ever ( except take their fat pension)
with real knives...
if my lass ever gets one on her throat by some lost loon.... i shall not flich nor even weep as i know, why:
uk society... ordinary people.. did nothing for any of them.... almost never
" community" my ass....
and... for those 'Christians' tolerated over the years quite a few..... though i love The Bish.. thats new life nothing to do with tjis 15 years old life .
shame on the whole pious world is modern religion...
if you want your fat cocongregants to do something REAL to help ( NO hope!..its gone too far) ... bung in something to fund qriting a REAL book..
in the audios above there is no reference to fact - many a time ..... ( and putting in periods if strategic radio silence) i have doodled to her how important story is...in all its real forms ... ( eg For The Love of a Son... superb book... Sasson..cowriter corresponded with me spring last year very positively i asked her to help write this one.. but she too busy... Esti has always known and is iften reminded by occasional alusion how important universally her story is ... she will expect nothing less.... except me too fagged out to care much any more...from 100s of...fakes... amen)
donations no one ever has except Gregg conned occasionally :-)
https://www.ralphschism.com/p/funding.html?m=1
click on photos to enlarge
the pig videos from the whatsaps (in the photo stream here ) are here
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
epilogue
a bit more ...positive response indicating some communication is possible
however i aint stupid
sent sunday 20th Oct pm and monday 21st early
two voicenotes 20 and 21 oct (from this above small section)
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1EI5oGxf9wJ0zu29WtGW28MUNAZGViQZA/view?usp=sharing
( she prob will need some counselling support tried to get for her 14 years ago from yet another fake pretend joan of arc senior 50 year old lifelong social worker i knew v v well....one who was meant to be my friend and cocampaigner 7 years from 2004...a famous speaker called Rachel Br**ble who would write books for ministers to use stating uk sw problematical.... promised she would intervene therapeutically via esti's school at neutral territory.. 50 + hours spent on that attempted fix talking to Br**ble.... then the SW bailed out she was too psychologically ' ill' to drive 2 hrs to wales ...despite for 2 months saying she was to come from birmingham area no problem...fake..uk fucked up weird disaster those people doing kids with issues...no hope as she was one if the few goodish ones)
THIS ALL - sadly....links in to legal work i have done for MANY others - still now but i give up there is so so so much weird personality disorder (in the 30ish to 40ish age group)..
as described here
and i am EXPERT - have seen many court cases ..ordinary people almost in some fractured hall of mirrors in their head..
I would guess millions fall into this category in the UK... all the cases (for others) were meant to fix... i am lucky in that failure - i tried....when few others did
https://www.ralphschism.com/2024/10/this-is-england-wonky.html
+++++++++++++++++++
27 Oct 2024.
UPDATE OR slightly better quick summary. Adding to the introduction audio (linked at beginning) .
story
There is one purpose sharing this. Though I must turn it into something for wider consumption one day. Maybe a fable form.
I have NO axe to grind. Nobody i wish to complain at. My daughter is scholarly. Very.
And myself i believe in one 'religion' almost which is truths should be chronicled for future generations. Montaigne, George Borow, Voltaire and a few others i do think educated us. About UNIVERSAL truths of their time.
There is in fact something i missed out. I did not emphasise: most of my friends and acquaintances for 20 years would call themselves either actual Christian or 'spiritual'. They are middle class people whom almost all believe there is some metaphysical system which favours goodness over bad.
Many of the 'spiritual' have moved into 'mindfulness' language the last five years.
I believe openness is the best thing for the soul. I always told people most of this story - below. The first few years (from 2010) it hurt as my whole IDENTITY was my daughter (healthily - i feel most men did not be there enough for their kids so every moment of my own life was to put that right - and was my joy). It hurt to answer questions like "how is Esti" from people who had for a decade always seen us only together (we were very sociable in the local community - for her benefit - socialising her).
And of course even if i was 100% innocent of ANY bad acts i suffered shame deep down. Shame maybe is the toughest and most dangerous emotion.
Shame (NOT pride) i had failed in all i cared about - maintaining the super healthy ongoing life for her with her dad, FOR her...
But here is the thing: the more sophisticated thinkers - spiritual / mindful / and they also preach 'community'.. were always the very worse people to speak with (cynically almost blaming me.. so snide - i dont mind i am bulletproof because i knew i was blameless and did far more to hang on than any other man). But the hardest thing and most pitiful (of them) is how they utterly failed to ever say ANYthing useful " hey how could this be fixed" never mind DO anything.
And i only pity them as ACTUAL 'mindfulness' is ALSO about letting go INTO hard situations others may have...it is a form of soul evolution... and actual learning (about our own souls).
I have done it many times for others - not just to assist them but because i know it ends up with myself broadened and deepened a little. NOT made 'happy' or content but knowing more about all of human life.
I am still amazed how so so many - none i would ever identify, never even made time for a cup of coffee and chat about strategies to fix this situation.
For all their 'spiritual' and 'mindful' talk, they live only in ..fear... deep down. And perhaps selfishness. That is our society. I merely chronicle.
If anyone reads books any more? For The Love of a Son ghostwritten by Sasson certainly also helped me in a very dark few months in early 2018...
from 22 Oct
AND MORE...
the end... this lass may need some wise words from my generation of there are any who are capable... what i know from life is if one is in that thoughtful section - they are a true minority, it doesn't leave you...
And it is really good to let go and start expressing yourself out there one way or other
