Tuesday 13 June 2023

Dignity...(and peace)

 To the casual observer this may not seem so, but in fact is the extension of a dignity found... as the glorious slow-down of 2020 clicked in.

Dignity. All that really matters.

But a huge word because it has to be lived...Some years landloping around my past region (i am here for good), from 2016 attempting useful connection so as to TRULY reach out to anyone who may take part in that dull thing - politics, which at times is about harvesting every vote individually,  'come the day'  - meaning sometimes it does just come down to a vote. I could not believe how my 'side' went so sour, and sad, and hurting, and stuck...

Factc: UKIP had peppered the area with signms - even my extremely fringe back of beyond, and had certainly gone down to the old folks home with clipboard " sweety...do you need help getting to the pol;ling station perhaps come the day...and maybe with that Alzheimer's bless, you may need help remembering which box to tick.."

an aspect of politics which is called, hard dull work, folk have had to engage in foerever...

Three years wandering 4 (had in the past been Libdem or near so) 'swing' constituencies.. looking for new face to face connections "come the day if there is another may we at least gather six months in advance to plot our signage at least... our fetes and social gatherings around preparing...to do the work"

waste of time. Only one person ever spied doing any footwork. A 'friend'. And he, on the eve of 2019 vote i saw alone..had not even bothered to reach out " will you keep me company letterbox delivering"

So, for me


Along comes 2020, what a relief... "i have of course been a little hurt at times and trying my hardest to quietly gather those allies... sometimes too close to a pumped up lione for me... but dignity= i even gave away my many years only extreme...peaceful, identity... = did ones best"

That sounds pious.

But what for many years - although by definition this cannot be for everyone, if everyone in a fairly populous place like Uk did as follows, it would not be.. peace and tranquility, i lament...

is although this is not quite a perfect example - i have others better in my notes..one day i shall collate fully

miraculous.y a bit 'o signal last night

shut off after an important day - definately knowing i settled in a place i need to be.

Even if i will stay in my self contained bubble. Not even look at who may be wandering the hamlet... decompress, regain only pure dignity

It is many of these discussions i began to seek years ago (on the matters then - 2016..) 

And then the silly body-obsession self pity neurosis of 2020..

(none can say "we have a whole people - 99,9% who must cover themselves in products..obsessively even shield their eyes from the sun  - when the science says that UV entering via the eye regulates natural cancer protection systems... a pill and cure for everything...of course they were going to go bonkers about a natural [or even artificial] pathogen that as we saw by mid 2020 had the actual real affect of about a three times 'normal' pneumonia...2 o 3.. and we never even mention pneumonia..which has a lower mean  cull age as this one .. even if it wasnt known til later it was 86..")

That did not surprise me. What exasperated me was NO one - i listened.. searched a bit when not out on my old bike or wandering hills most of those 100 glorious cloudless skies - NATURAL IMUNITY IS BOOSTED BY: loads of UV [and natural IR], loads of exercise [ at least 2/3 of the population could take all day every day quite safely]..PLUS 

as per Martin's life changing book... SPIRIT.. there is a completely unquanitifiav=ble but real THEMIX effect that is a fighting spirit...not fight 'response' ..lifeforce.

that affects ACTAUAL measurable mortality rates... find the GOOD in stuff! keeps your pecker up..

and there was so so much good to find.

I did.

Never made so many new friends or evolved ongoing murky friendships into something deeper and more real...even if sparks flew at times (due their sad angst..from 2020 i had pure dignity - never lat=et ANY sparks from others affect me...)


in fact as someone very good at 'walking away' all of life  one of proudest moments (not pride pride...just dignified quietitude)  three 20ish year old local lads would gather to smioke drugs from mid morning by a local paradise park by a river hardly anyone else ever went to,.... we chatted occasionally...one had quite wrongly been sacked June 2020 - using bug or whatever as pretext..i was impressed by his take on it - his RIGHTS..etc.. chatted with them over time and gave some guidance... one dayu a few months later august as everyone starting nervously their old ways the same group was walking down the high st lunchtime.. booze bottles in hand and i pulled aside on my old bike making some friendly [fellowship..we had sat together on same side it so appeared] ..  and the one [i knew of - never met but..had heard of his gaoltime and nasty behaviour  - as i had done a decoration job for his mother  - total raging angry materialist obsessed alcoholic] ...suddenly explodes and comes to smash me and knocks me into road bleeding ...under cctv...] 

dignity, = i know i did my best... walk away...and even if i never watch a horror film in my life and all violence saddens me...within a few  days get over the shock..and forget

Anyway.. tghese two..

problem is all who get on media about rural life and 'simplicity' have (as at least he admits) busier lives in and out of the metropolises...

truly being aside.. most mornings no one to speak with for years... sit and stare..and then walk a lot in the hills.. and dont get bugged by ANY bug..

learn nettles are just a minor irritant... 

etc etc...

It gives you calm dignity...but also once one gets over the loneliness - STRENGTH to sometimes fight the good fight...

but more, too, not to take anything... rejection, failure, ever ..to heart

And it is to me a total failure in good simple quiet but authoritative clear rhetoric .. by people such as these - Gladwell just as useless... and all Green party even worse... 

Their point " eco became techno.." really isnt it... it is 99% of eco people do NOT have the totally rural near-nature zen inside them that also comes from HAVING to live to natural rhythms of light heat (or lack of) ... 

And also  - i must put up y best ever naturea parable...film of.. 

EVEN WHEN..one has struggled to sort out something - restoring lovingly autumn 2018 .. a few old animal cages - spending many days cutting out old wood, rebuilding treating the old and new wood so so methodically..

A few months work - albeit part time but large cages.. very very eascapey animals... want the job to last 10 years... 

SO proud to have finished the job so well...

I have ME 'back' entirely...

A few months later nature threw up the funniest ever counteract from a corner which according to centuries of old wives tails and folklore was not ever going to happen...and my work was part ruined...

Thats what nature is for - to show us we never ever are master...

and even me i hurt for a day at my vanity and pride and human 'domination' of the wood and materials..and beloved animals i had homed..

But then knew after justa day or two... that is the true lesson from nature - do not have self regard... we are all in a great big connected web that isnt just about us...

but io never m,eet anyone who can really enjoy..and be STRENGTHENED by that... which some old copuntry types did have in them..i know as my adopted 'father' Ralph was just one such man..

ohh and dignity= 

 i never say the word cunt in public..

but dignity means i have the strength of  peace inside so what if i use words that may pique the fools whom


i know who i am

rural tranquility

and giving away who you ARE

if a great purpose is seen even from the other side of a road..

is the most dignified of all ...actions... specially when you know why.

And although one day a far more florid perfect Gladwell style paragraph i would like to manage and will soon - even so called many year (falseish)  friends now being scaked...

All this silliness (these two even descend to - Freddy is ok but they cannot ever speak of just THEIR proximity to screens and vehicles and the noise of cities.. that all DOERS THEMIX change you...so you dont have hope, faith, imagination...and furthjermore some - many...i ignored all 'sign in with smartphone' by just saying [lying] "  sorry i dont have one i am dyslexipractic whatever.." ..and smiled...and not one coffee bar ever said no entry... ) 

The 'machine' will never be big or rich enough to also cover the (in uk 10 or 20% who are so ill - especially mentally ill - as above thug / poor/ really sick.. they cannot participate in total-digital cageing...

Better less clever rhetoric is the only way through... quieter just casual... less important...

its as if these two even subtly deep down want calamity..

and thats a CITY thing....rural folk know things will muddle on ok....  despite the powers