Friday 9 June 2023

propper writing

 Though NOT telling people what to think is a finest art - being just the right side of telling only one's own story. I have to now step exactly that line..as it is the line i know is good. I only rarely see it in others now...i did in someone's writing... it is rare.

Keep the rule myself!

Soon.

Just the simple flow of the day. That makes it....makes it always be kind of wonderful;. And above all avoids stress - that is the true art. I haven't had 'stress' for years... a little wrought from putting heart and soul into something good and it wavering, is diferent. That is human. As is passion for ones (PAST!!!!) 'causes' - so many silly people nowadays mistake for anger...

There is only one aspect to being 'off grid' and super super simple in needs and ways, that to me is a diversion.  Frankly so many people - especially the last few years have become rather obtuse - and anyway the huge majority seem to have lost the ability (we got from great books - decent novels and literature) to ' READ BETWEEN THE LINES.." to not take things on 'face value' to.. think...ponder what may be really in the mind - and their body and soul, as they scribble.

I have one quest or odyssey .. that to me is all there is left in life. Why i bothered living this far :-) The start; but i shall not refer to it. 

Nuance, subtlety, lacuna - what may be in the space BETWEEN the words... (i do not shout ever, it is time soon to have the time to take time to italicise or highlight in some other way...for now... first draft. (there is a  story in that!).


I have only one regret (well... :-), but having transplanted - lousy signal. 

Lousy signal i can deal with - so many years - 25! with often the need to go up the top of a field near ones house just to send a text. But off grid, and lousy signal is a problem - Laptop battery lasts an hour maybe 2 if it is warm.  But if it takes 5 mins just to log in and write on a  webpage or email then the battery drains far too quickly - having to wait..(it also uses more power the browser struglling...to connect)

But so be it - except that i was in a habit a few years ago of,  have an insight, stick it down in a blogsite. I had one for 2020 one for 2021 one for 3

i must link them here - they are far more in the moment and even funnily on the cliff edge, than this....

......unless something happens...and i am 'allowed' to write about it.  I think we should maybe try and write about ALL life's ups and downs ...and blockages, and sulks and even battles...nothing REALLY matters - except psychological healthy environments for kids.....we may be able to control that. And true support of another close in...   And they are our responsibility - we have the ultimate task  - how we are with children, even another,  affects all their whole life.

SO i am still in that inner mode - insight and jot online,  but i forget, cannot sit and write easily, so must use notepad instead. 
retrain.

New habits. Or a return to old ones... my my i have piles of notepads...... it is time now to enjoy. Enjoy them and try come up with something even sellable...

I wish nothing else...(except use my body physically, a fair bit - sweating in the sun at some strenuous task - even midsummer, midday, no hat.. is my second favourite mode of being, the first being the meditative long hill walk. No more of them now!)


Between the lines, there will, i know ALLways be one other mode i wish to be in...  but i shall not even be cheesy enough to say "it takes t t t"


"PROCESSING"..

Wednesday 7th June...long not very hilly walk.

Made an audio too... 

will put up soon. I like 'podcasting' especially is all the time in the world to wander...

I mused upon the buzz word  - above..."processing" ... I myself started to use as shortcut language some years ago..i have pondered and am not sure it is a great word. Perhaps it overdramatises the absolutely standard messy things of life from an alcoholic father to a battling ex or even child... standard  hurt and confusion are just that. Standard. Even if they dont feel like that at the time for the individual.  Processing maybe aggrandises them too much...life is short and whether a hologram or not...me thinks life every moment a special gift. Every moment not to be wasted if there are better things we can be doing - better purpose and bolstering another is the only good one i know... even if i know MANY years in hermitude in a metaphorical 'cave' is sometimes necessary after the worst of emotional wounds.....been there, essential... a lifesaver, but then you gotta live ..asap...



I have a lot more than this on that subject - a long audio, i need to listen to to see if it needs de-identifying...


OUT OF ...see...quence.




and 8 min ref - i mention 8 minutes... every moment counts - the habit to attempt to minimise battery and fuel use so a phone will go to closed/locked in 9 mins...set it to 8 mins - the alarm and every 8 mins just turn phone over and it resets its inner timer, and that saves battery time as if the phone goesw to sleep the upload takes longer...and uses more battery...uses more money andd time to get that money...which is far better used in real life - even if its not as one wishes ideally..

(dear publisher !...tips !!    1


And have i said it..... i love totally super super slow...poised... speech - i speak slowly in real l;iofe

Neruda said "a conversation does not begin until we have been speaking an hour.." well i second that and there must be many many long bodily pauses...where we may say even more

not possible with a  camera...

but

giving away 'identity' - an identity that  i cherish most of  all... well that is your RE|L 'mindfulness' - not being onesself for a higher purpose even if it fails like a wet log sinking to the floor of a muddy estuary...


i so so so prefer to speak super slow...but not yet


   this is the end...

but the sequence is many little essays notes and insights get from back then - 15 years ago i guess, to now... especially in the last nine months me focused only on one end - in two ways... that ends now. stopped. 
I am at the end of my journey.
Even if i have arrived in only another muddy swamp.
I know i needed to be here.
There is a right and wrong for each of us in the universe and mine is here.

STOP and just sit in the sun with my big notepad and write it...up...

There is one more film to go here. But it hasn't happened yet.

And of course won't


another little amusement...my journey (irrelevent except to reencounter the worst possible 'spiritual' person ... several years known...said wished to share some travel costs.. then makes personal absurd assumptions (a very very ill person - in denial, so so much 'healing' she has to Messianically share with others....and rip them off too...) and does not even pay agreed fuel money to divert way over and collect...

Coronation composer, Shamanism in the UK, Toy ducks in the baptismal font

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001lr2n


it made me laugh a bit.. the top dog Shawomen  want a registration.. they dont say to keep out their competitors...

(but it does not make me laugh - one of my several schisms is years and years those who SAID they were to be allies in essential environmental projects...just masturbated endlessly in their soul when mind body needed to be at our side saving the damn rivers...and it got worse and worse and worse...is THE primary reason for effective apathy DOING anything to save the environment.....surely the goddesses wanted us to bloody well act to save their Gaia..... 

but that takes hard dull sweaty work...far easier faking ultra insight for money ina  booth in Gl;asto...and all that 'love' one is showered with...my my

no more computing

THE END and begin... how i got here. As only ultra simplification allowed it.....

but hang on...wait

but there was just one hidden last final key.. (i have two quests...one many years,..) the original one is knowledge and truth talk for one young woman..

The magnificent Pole gave me a true version of her old lands i have never heard before out loud from anyone (though knew for years myself true)

But like a  pilgrim, progressing...

I never imagined i needed to meet her, today in the new local Lidl...

i NEEDED to meet her... the Welsh lady (i did not know of that need.. that is your true black swanny mindfulness..)

Wales (their stone age culture - mysoginist awful...racist and hating all progress.. killed my only childs soul - via their so masonic and bullying authorities....and my my they hate an Englishman that stood up so gloriously for the straightforward HRA 'rights''' they seek revenge...even if it kills a childs soul for life...

 i knew that..but the theme park version is so overwhelming (in the 'public' perception - banned words and truths)

Welsh are 'proud' - zealots about their own myth. A boozy dangerous often nasty people. No values (i was raised from age 9 in N Wales..) 

To hear a wonderful Welsh woman...so o[en, so honest..an hour we spoke in the car park... here..my first person i chat with...so so hating her 'people' for the damage done to her 3 children...no law will help her...  she knows a totally corupt little weirdo place... 

she knows the 'truth'... and needs some help! This will be a pleasure and a perfect kairos... because now it doesnt matter to me ever again...