The Road, back to 'sorrow',
Perhaps just the last five or six weeks.
Typical bloody psychodrama a addicted English - indeed to quote the great Serb
" martyr" (in her case "I am not one!!")
I don't know...but i do know one thing for sure:
To spend an hour with a 25 year old German ..
(" thirty years ago as i meandered Europe and then also for a decade or more after that when i would meet young Germans travelling here ... and sit and speak with them for hours if possible..i always knew - it was simply a no brainer... the average - no always person encountered, in their 20s, maturity, balance, remarkable depth and a real wish to understand the human condition and almost perfect 'humanism' i always encountered... ")
grace...within...
Pure pure perfect enlightenment soul...
Her life rightly defined by a search, quest; humble... through ideas and thoughts of others who had come before. To understand...
respectfully - not ever as slave to them... and think...
for...
her....
self...
having let them guide her..
I sit bodily IN 'sorrow' at last...
sorrow.
After three unimaginably happy and enjoyed years... well nearly four, really...
That started ten ago...
The one thing i needed was to stop.
having discovered again what i knew a decade ago, but she perfectly personified...
that one must have - Be..sorrow... that Britain lost the ability to ever be her.. the young German woman so perfect a caring, thoughtful and humble yet so wise woman through her quest for the best of writing and culture too... of course partly woven into her cultural DNA through Herman... but others too...
sorrow. Pure sorrow. Lived sorrow.
That she - ubiquitous in her homeland and other European states similar, too... but almost default in her people...as i have so many times found.
Cannot exist any more, here..
Is a matter - lived experience, of only...sorrow
And i needed to meet her to be reminded...of what i knew thirty years ago... twenty five...twenty, with my Portuguese erudite, worldly and so wise, fiancee... died a few years later the big C
cos even i got into the excitement of the diversion of.... my road trip arounmd these peoples the last few years..
To be continued, except, there is one in the oven i started to write yesterday.
After a Wednesday that was simply impossible. Up on a cliff. All night.... and i don't ever stay up after 10...
That is in actual fact entitled
"stop"
We did.
