Monday 24 July 2023

" i am 99% 'romantic' * and 99% practical"

 * in the complete impossibility of ongoing shared word-meanings, of course silly assumptions will cause assumption, if lothario or Tinderist. .

what does 'romantic' mean? Perhaps just her and I stood chatting on Porthsewer front... towards sundown sums it up; all the absurd 'achingly hip' ones busying themselves on their hip promenade...  wandering by, slightly staring on their graceful glide back to the glass of wine ..alone

or ten.

keratase hair; nowadays  competing, too for the most designer doggie..( she also runs away from up the coastal paths)

...  two people, pretty bright eyed. Just talking about the amoubt kf fatties per costal path. 

" I am alnost addicted to this  section Ive come off to the East... and today found a bizarre National Trust paradise cash required, no barriers or gates..  and a huge walked garden yiu can just adopt for as long as you wish    ....and being a fair walk from carparks, few waddlers.. ."

" That way Ive come from, more up and down...the waddlers stay away.. and their silly highly strung doggies in the fifty quid showoff collars  dont get in my head... few make it down to those coves "

" so.... all your walking... doing it all a few weeks at a time...alone... fit happy skinny...eyes bright....goat like gait, as me.. ..simple sandals for your neon kit....just you and simple backpack. .. so what is your story... unrequited love you are walking off. ... tragedy?... "

... truly ' romantic' landloperism... is it living in the moment, only, so purely... two almost exactly in the same psychsocial 'space'...paths meet in Porth-smelling-of-really-bad sewers...... thermos flasks,  no icecreams.. or phones out doing absurd selfies...  not exchanging even names, never mind the data? 

  i don't even know, and I am pretty good with the nuance of words idea what romantic means

Pity the person who wishes to fully speak out in this hardest of languages.  Two walkers, absolutely perfect 'twinflames' whatever the fuck that absurd word means ..( i was told by some 30 somethings ... there are good skit sites on this nonsense newword) . in exactly the same personal mode .. exactly the same distance from respective beds - merely oposite cardinal directions.. along more or less the same lovely coastal paths...  but just slightly diferent 'class' - itself now for most just a skit word on amount of time not watching telly and trying to understand the human condition via some  good books and film... versus her days- a bit more  Barbie girl officework,  talk of soaps and gairdos....back in her Yorkshire base, and the  pink and plastic of her fellow office mates.  And even we - same kind of accent ( 'classwise') ... same life in this 'moment' .. struggle to understand exactly understood meaning of the same words...

funny old life.. 

Anyway talk about 

....'practical' the movie.

Every expense timed to perfection.

Perhaps the dodgy Healing festival boss .. of a festival that didnt happen...did read after all ... " you had a choice..a year back i communicated crystal clear...  i offered you the proposal of every hour i put in to rescue you from the baliffs nicking your fancy factory farmed  2 grand dogs...and your boy from the stress in your kitchen. i dont call social services on anyone even you who has him age 10 answer the phone to your enraged victims of fraud.   [ " ohhh simon. .i had no idea the 'spiritual' women ..long my friends. can be so so   just SO...viscious. quite shocked..i thought they all lived the bliss and fairie energy . .. only.....when theyve lost a few hundred quid upfront in their snakeoil pitch booking fees  "] 

" you were given clear words... every hour i put in you find some mutual benefit repayment... time... grassroots community mutual payment via time... one hour for one hour if you have no money...thats fine

" time doing something i need...organise free storage for me  maybe in old barn of one of your many Tom-Paul ex London so called friends youve pimped yoga and bullshit to for 15 years to..theyve bought all the barns so i cant rent one any more..... ive seen you enough times with their fake country wimmin.... all Waitrose baggy .. despite there not being one here ..cos 13 years ago i alone blocked it being built on the primary school [ fact]...with a threat of exposing the Hay festival directors financial  interest in that development...and wish to buy his wifey a Waitrose.  ... despite the hundreds of talks he conned us into going to on localism and green policy... 

" you... surely understand... after all we would go to those talks on democratic grassroots.  15 years ago... mutual benefit, pay in kind.... nice happy clapy new wimmin like you and all your mates ..[ where are they now in her...year of need?]

" so you owe me at least  500 hours... . you were given 9 months to actually read that clearest proposal...and offer one fucking load of washing in your machine... on all day!! ...never mind ANY ' community' type iffer back in my direction...  plus the expenses you conned me into paying out up front.... so you became the true queen of inauthentic con artist, only sucking up to the Kates.. Katrinas..   it seems.... now no one else trusts you....

" well even they may have sone time to google..between keratase facelifts   ...and ive had enough of years being conned  by dozens just like you...gloves off now Dot..."

Seems... she could read after all.... even if a bloody stone. 

Of course with these   sad nonrurals .. they cannot ' listen'....

...".i left London and the like, forever, 25 years ago when i discovered every single one FLAKY.... reliability is human. . not one could ever be it seems  ...  so ugly their flakiness...that means you, too.... as you all  it seemed followed me ...10 years later   . . 

" but rural life does NOT work. . .. .if flaky... we need our lasting alliances.  ... and above all reliability..... reluability, word is more on the edge...i care about sustainable rural communities and you are why they arent any your story i shall turn into REAL maybe our kids have a true hjstory book...starring you."

nope... like talking with mad lost psycho drug addict despite perfwct yogagoddess  guru website and credentials

but the fact that i still dont know: do the repayments..  come in every monday for ..months? or weeks...or stop just like that when she runs back age 50 to London mummy's London 750k house...she has her eye on... as her bank of last resort    .... never mentioning to anyone else for years of course ( even i was most surprised  15 plus years on ..i thought she was just humble lass from Worcester)

 the pure zen of no idea if the cash stops ...  even if i would far rather it had been propper grassroots.    barter   ... mutual benefit ...time exchange  ... 


but it does mean my practical organisation and logistics must be plotted to perfection ...every penny pondered and practically planned out...plan a and plan b ( it stops, no word of course) just in case  

( yest end of paymebt cycle   1...)

...never mind, threatened 10 times with exposure ( last resort i had enough..feminism is one wishes to RESPECT women as equals.. not always con artists as every single one i have dealt with for 20 years always is. ....always...liar manipulator even theif...)

... 6 weeks  from my letter delivert through her letterbox last day of Hay Festival, situated next to her local copshop.... i assumed she would run crying to them " malicious communication " or some other conlaw for  liars to hide behind..  

6 weeks assuming...... living slightly on nerves...

seems.... my calculation was my shock!

deep down ...right down deep down under her onion layers .   she knows who was right and who was wrong . ...

..... but i really only gave it 1%... that outcome . 

shell still fuck up her kid forever, so..... 

thats who will be wiping your oldfolk bums....  as she has the purest cv of them all....  and many county council wellness provider grants in her bank in past times too.... 

only the mad stay here  ..

i wonder if the absurd little cultural commentators ( all morning riffing on Barbie).. of future times, will ... even understand the opera that can be made

 ( no fear of slander  cases.  as every word saved verbatim for my proteection ... she would explode of coorse!!... surprised the cops didnt come knock her up, she screaming label diagnosis " you got asbergers!' [ for methodically demanding we do her accounts ..propetly...cos that would impress a court judge...maybe!...never mind ger 100s of creditors]  so loudly at me only person helping her...all year)... fabulous shakesperearean tragi.. com...based on real events...verbatim

that is actual britain... ( her kitchen simply archetype... case study... for so many thousands just the same) rather than Barby  pink fantasy 

anyway...i am loyal...

to what i planned new years eve

....and ...before

from November last

. ..those two 'pathways '...

another fascist word coopted by fat health administrators who wish to kill their customers...legally

rather than take them out for long walks and wheel them out into the sunshine... which may help them live longer..

i wouldnt dream of joining her on hers....

..... i know which way i walk ...and still will...... and why

which is pure


'romantic'... even if i only get spat at