Now it does't sound very sincere or even ingratiating...but i have no interest in one word thus far shared.
Except i hoped for a collaborator - in various watch your back ways, but my back doesn't need watching.,
It is about someone just about on some of the same page.
However i cannot lie (reasons in an audio). And i shall plod on with various themes started. And lest one be thought unkid or unfair - it is TOO depressing the many many other occasions of largely middle aged women who became THE 'energy' in environmentalism in my region for many years - to make THEMselves look good.. then failed to be human. someshould be shared... the absolute horrible cynical attitude of a very famous Oxford prof yummy woman - as her facebook shows daily...saving the world from near leominter... offered a large amount of recycled VERY carefully kept building materials winter 2021/2.. sasha... the person asked to assistwith serious wildlife crimes in hills a ear before and fakes interest in that too....many messages yes please... . huge effort gone - days - piling it all up... breeze blocks tin roof materials... then stops answering her phone... no polite "change mind my man cannot get over (10 miles)."..nope...nothing... the disgusting contemptuous bad manners of these people has become too much...had already become so but its now the norm...
yest thats famous TV Sasha... saviour of all wildlife.money to but a spread in herefordshire then....
Anyway... so opening statement... I have only one fairly humble thing or period only i long wish to try and writye about...but it is hard - and anyway it is slightly not me - to speak full - diarise (i did) ever moment of 4 or 5 yerears of very very asie lving and gradually fully letting go into beeieving...knowing there is 'more' and enjoying every small step...alone...in mainly hermitude... by a wonderful river an around fabulous ild hills...
that journey...
is what i value and some day if all other thigs are out f the way, or just begun... some day i will be ready for the ONLY period i cherish fully...try and turn t into something ...one ay..
so, sorry, all thus far just a weird practice...sort of baptism of all fires...through now...not conceivable i may ever feel coy... when and if i ever get to that long period when i know somehow it all went right in the head under the toughest possible circs... the real lovely quiet interesting ..evolution...
That is what i need my desk REALLY clear for.... even if it never happens. My heart will be in enjoying that...reliving it to some extent...and i have never shared it with anyone...ever.
but unlike everyone i ever read tgese days from this dubious 'spuritual' world we have 100+ years known is full of charlatans...i shall never claim anything can be understood or is for sure
and i know thats the deal, and joy of it
