So, from December 2015 ...(i haven't even acknowledged Christmas for ... 13 years) I set out... landloping although i hadn't found that word at that time.
Meaning, largely by foot or old bicycle (must be an old bike!)... never ever having any plan i fact, certainly a year later, the only plan was NOT to be engaging with anyone because no one post summer 2016 could say ANYTHING soulful, universal, deepish wiseish...
Seven years later - November 2022... i 'found' ... what i had been looking for ...
Someone whom also doesn't really acknowledge Christmas. Now that sound bleak and joyless....
But then, seven years ago from now - earlywinterish 2016, the true landloping began -- and it became a gentle very informal random dialectic, but even that word is far too fancypants...
Simply random encounters... and never ever wishing to make any point, because following summer 2016 no one i ever met ever said ANYthing wise... ever. (ff today, or yesterday in fact " we may well have been on those same CND type marches in the late 70s or early 80s and i can tell you alone have stayed true to that perfect sane wise ethos of then, so surely you alone - out here taking you stand with your placard at your old age, obviously actually caring... have managed to think for yourself and know that when a threat October 9 or 10 of anti Hague law 'collective punishment' on the atrocity committers, or all those other fancy words, does not attract even one smallest hint of sanctions on the neighbourhood bully stating they would break fundamental humanitarian law, the sane people.... gives up....accept defeat... a tragic rather weird turn of events, the loony fundamentalist nutters assumed they would be turkey-shot 1/2 a km the other side of the fence, but by some weird twist they ended up in places where they went turkey shooting...... anyway... faced with impossible counterattack to save all lives you give up... it is well known for centuries those who surrender early on get a better settlement afterwards... " well she just about agreed...)
Forget now. Although the last month has been a reminder in fact case study, indeed harbinger....
of how so much becomes even more intense PR rhetoric hyperbole.... weasel words, playing wit words, seems to be the future now...
So, decemberish 2016 " hmm.... weirdly i have some mojo, and even more weirdly have lived on.... i always knew one thing above all that the 'bully' or whatever word we wish to use for those who simply tear up the simplest most fundamental rules of propriety or... go against simplest universal values of natural 'justice'... will pick on the person alone and leave to the bottom of their list those in a couple.... absolutely crystal clear in the (from 2013ish) history of the hamlet owned by the Rachman Landlords in my last region - as they gentrified and put the rents up 50% one could plot it on a chart: single middle aged women first (and destroy their reputation once theyve been bombed out of their 20 year abode... so none of the remaining households will stand up with the first bullied household; single older, mid 60s women next - i suppose some semblance of appearances there... then single men - not a sexist list rather a case of the men - as so often the casein this sceptic aisle, so many way way over the line 'BPD'(listen to sexist Daum and mate - their preferred term for in their extremely well argued audio essaying, for a HELL of a lot of modern females having really bad psycho stuff ongoing - pacifist versions of Glen Close in that one....... but they are wrong, the men started to catch up a decade ago... anyway hmmmm the single men were going to go really incendiary especially as one of them had a rap sheet of expressing his 'feeling's via starting nice little fires... i was left until last ... because... hmmm? she Mrs Rachman knew i had stood up for 'rights' ... but i think more than anything i am absolute world champion of NOT ever responding to obvious unlawful activity - for example in summer 21 when Mrs Rachman hires me to restore a truly trashed old so called 'community' allotment area - all filmed and photod and recorded as a performance art project.... as is her inciting me to fiddle the tax or tax credit system by not declaring the wages from her despite her being a local government elected official.... ditto her not paying my last invoiced weeks work.... not for any reason - the recordings all describe ' great work .. that glass has been there years well done collecting it and sending it to recycling...' etc.... and then my last week of work never gets paid... funny old world ... her [them] very rich.... as some bizarre performance art thingumy.... well, anyone else would have sued her.... and told the world.... not me i never even uttered a word.... especially as her thievery and more important actions against THE number 1 commandment of the rural areas: your day laborer on the land - that lovely job could be only hand tools due very narrow walled passageways around the allotment wallings...so it was blood sweat and ... no tears when the blood comes... must always be aid by the day...[even if weekly invoice declared] ..always... no ifs no buts ...hard labor sweating under the sun picking up her 'community's' evil fucking treatment of the land... always gets paid even if one falls out [not me, never] ... the fundamental rule of rural honour... one is ABOVE 'personal' feelings.
Now...it just so happens that she (my rural work was always for shes.. except one utterly hilarious he...who used a machine gun for a living.... but of course i cannot tell THAT story in modern UK as bullnecks dont understand yes free speech shouldbe indivisible... hetoo... unless one found out he was dead.. my my the 'control' issues of the men whom.....as i have seen so many times before [ go to the bit on a many shed..] ) .. was one of a crowd, in fact all of them... every single one from 2020... all rich and all so so so in love with their image as goody goodies.... failed to ay the last section of wages...
Interesting...
BUT i know one thing for a fact; Call them 'bullies' - never do...i simply pity THEM... call them thieves or charlatans..... ? fact is in regions where there is hardly any anonymity, and despite the Guardian colour supplement spin i have watched for decades lie and deceive " [hay] woodstock-on-Wye" " britains favourite little village Presteigne" ... they... the ubiquitous thieves ... never steal and ac unlawfully towards the couples.... never. Simple human nature - if one is known to be in a fair coupling arrangement then the monied leave you alone, as they are of curse 'bullies'...
so..... 2015 off to get a new rest of life .....helpmeet ... ready now....all 'trauma' and desert living processed... and even if a sexist pig wo should be cancelled as all his female characters have stuff really only done 'to' them... as shakespeare rightly said tragedy+time=comedy... once one can laugh then there never was any 'trauma' as every cell in ones body is a new one every 2 or 3 years... 5 or 6 if braincell. No cell in my body is the same one that was cruelly fuckerated five or seven years ago
SO 'I' wasn't... violated/ hurt / injusticed... whatever silly word one wishes to use for the .... past.
Anyway having survived the last three months and her - only one...not British born, weirdly inveigling 'license' into me... kairos time now for all memoirs.... unbowdleised.... a fancy word for every fuckin little bit... all of which i laugh at and wouldn't have had one bit one other way
(That's 'happiness' Mister Aristotle if you are Nozin' in)
But i do need some graceful and serene kind of format as thats how i live m ays
Where was i...
well, words.... helpmeet the very best find, maybe 10 years ago even if they are impossible to kidnap, and tie up and find out if they meant wat they said...
(the EDUCATED woman ... meaning proper good real lovely old fiction - and as she said " wow Ove... he may well have died in the end but what a lovely book of HOPE...any fucker can be new...as you say English writers cannot do that any more..." and the educated woman in that way - through good gentle 'we are all lost sheep wondering if the fish in Pink Floyds fishbowl are tasty or will poison us' prose, songs... ways of Being.... laughs when she is advised she would be kidnapped and abducted to my cave, as perfect great LAUGH at it all, mind, in another universe... where she wasnt off to Japland with the man.... )
seven years ago.
All of half a dozen progressive balanced seemingly sane acquaintances....all pro universal human rights(even if none understand that phrase) ...all 'internationalist' even if none know any foreigners never mind as i had spent half my life there and most of my people had been of 'there'....
So we had about 6 months of shock. And off i started to landlope ... gentle front garden conversations.... all of them stuck in the 'past', and a wonky one at that " Farage's bus with lies on the side.." etc etc etc....
The very fist new word - obviously not new, and i care about what my image is, because i KNOW that behind the 'image' is years of diligent pondering how to Be...
Modern.
Far too perverted in uk a place where absurd silly people started 20+ years ago to sell EVERYTHING based on 'youth' and new technology. Both a disaster (for the reasons in Affluenza).
A grown up did 'take to' the possibilities of technology and especially the 'freedom' of the mobile phone, quite early on..... as did i.... running my small business venture doing a little gypsy air charter from the top of a very remote quiet hill 28 years ago... wonderful freedom...
BY late 2000s my patent ( top judicially approved and even applauded - its there in transcripts) counselling to parents at war - with past lovers or even the local authority causing them grief and playing games for money) peacemaking advice "whatever you do....if you listen to only one thing i say... here is the one commandment i would wish for your sake you remeber ..... do NOT any more communicate with your 'opponent' [ in litigation, familywars] by any digital means.... i swear on my own beloved daughter's life that ALL digital fails ... if you have a little text exchange it often feels horrid - intrusive or even can be misinterpreted as confrontational..... it NEVER works .... to bring sane peaceful tomorrow... whereas if you pick up a phone and speak even to someone with whom here has been very unpleasant stuff in the recent past.... and even better arrange to meat for a cup of tea with them face to face...under cctv if you must.... i swear its always going to be a more thoughtful polite and peaceful talk/ negotiation ... whatever"
i.e. technology is very very very inhuman and has failed (interestingly i see she.... i hadnt thought to look her up....30 years ago, that spring... Sarajevo being bombed on the box..... her a gorgeous remedy to it all .... her mum in fact a real forerunner in the FAkebook and all that - her 32[ unique name] .... so so worldly and sophisticated...... they dont seem to use it any more....how interesting..)
technology is not a good word.
But 'MODERN' .... different kettle of fish stew as long as the right context is jabbed into the brain of one's communicant...
" modern.... THEY used the wrong bloody words..... even the worst British oik addicted to TV and wanking over new car/motorbike magazines [except me] nowadays loves to be techie and moreso 'MODERN'.... they would not have argued with 'MODERN'.... its modern to want freest movement ... retain all international fellowship and alliance.... blah blah..."
so from seven years ago, hurting (at the absolute inability of ALL my acquaintances to say ANYTHING useful about what next.... and at that point in fact i schismd forever from this lost land!!!!)
the words....
many days just going out meandering ... not wanting dialectic .. not wanting talk as no one could...
within the framework of all that pumped up EGO that could not say anything about what next...
I couldnt give a fuck about them THEY lost it not me.. but i started to experiment with words... by a process of completely freestyle elimination. Meaning stuck, no idea HOW on earth to speak with (my own 'side') any more and they are so exhaustingly depressing with their hurt and pain....
just start to ..(sort of dialectic method ) throw around other words.... to help 'them' if i were pious i would say, nope just to stop their awful (think Guardian editorial type - it usually was) talk...
Now being UK supposed 'community' of progressive types... no one could ever say " hey... you have as we all should have taken a LONG deep breath and tried to be A BIT NEW AND DIFERENT...yes YOU ARE RIGHT THAT WORD 'MODERN' WOULD HAVE BEEN FAR FAR BETTER WORD TO HAVE USED SPRING 2016.... [OOPS ACCIDENTAL CAP NO BATTERY TO EDIT]... "
I didnt need them to say after a long pondering i know i was right...
One word - a better word that few could have argued with and most (except me) secretly are addicted to (i hardly ever use a mobile phone - only really used it for one person from a year ago - and as if to prove - it failed! i only use a laptop to create this utter garbage which also fails) may have made a considerable difference...
And tat - changed ME inside.... because i realised if even i a thick uneducated criminal mind.... can figure one simple better word that i now would have worked...
then there are other words also regarding other things this stupid society went up its own bum in respect of...
And thus seven years its been more tan anything about a pilgremage into better words...
no one though could ever manage to stop and use wonderful words like "hiraeth" and "ascetic" ..... why my other 7 year quest ended a year ago...
.even if saudade is an alive word (partly alike, but) unlike hiraeth a dead one about the past, only... saudade "is not finished yet"... a bit like the boat book ...
