woodbenches, when i have a power socket...
The art of wood cutting frames.
But there you go, justice...
It had never occurred to me until an unusual (but as usual, here, the horrid military town car park) .... less quiet night ... but in fact those nights ... a possible good mind to meet, the mind res up, one goes through ones life story half asleep
And a couple of dots joined from twenty years ago ! ...it had never occurredd to me. I had never NEEDED it to occir... because if one does ones best and bad luck perhaps defines.... one doesnt 'need' justice.
I lived in such a quiet backwater. Many years the middle of nowhere. A few small 2000 people towns strung out 20km apart for bread and basics.... and the cafes ... outdoor cafe people watching our obsession...i knew every outdoor cafe chair for 100km [sic]. I had grown out of all mind altering substances age 25 ... unlike the absurd kiddults of say the SW...and half of places like Hay etc.. And anyway driving .... no one had money for taxis for the 10 km home into the hills...
so ...sober occasional nights out .
Once only to 'look' ... once only 27ish years ago i weakened ...it was curiosity more than anything else, even if a poor traumatised french woman was traumatised by a famous journalist's second home i rented old and rotting electric blanket the following early hours ... we laughed at
" ... ALORS !! the bed is on fire"
50 km circle, only one truly horrid awful meat market nightspot... music atrocious... just lager bad dancing and of course some did the drugs on rhe quiet..
he.... nothing to do with me... the man who as good as ate my daughter as he somehow pulled the strings from his terrible inner angst and guilt .. at leaving his own, faking a real daddy involvement years after when he chose to live 4 arduous hours from them... he ran a campaign... even involving extremely bizarre keystone cop stuff..i could never understand
all nothing to do with me... because if you have worked on your bad edges and its all gone ok and the prof was rgere as everyone knew....her...my unique lass as they all said those steiner and alternative community Natural Store rype women who never of course lifted a finger to help her in utterly fake UK...
so it never even occurred, he had the security bouncer thug contract to bounce at the only nightclub for 50 km... in the middle of nowhere nothing to do with me....
but he will of course! have had a LOT to do with local...plod
hahh hahhh how did i not think of that!?
answer: because justice is largely irrelevent, sad hurt traumatised bully boys will sadly be bully boys ...
justice is in fact only being yourself no matter what, when you are lucky enough to know your values and care are real and work
and you dont even think of the unjust...or how or why thwy did their dodgy doings
justice is not even figuring them.. inner wisdom cannot be faked one knows authentic... even psychos dont false claim authentic
blahh blahh blahh...
as La Grande Belazza so beautifully concluded on the meaning of the whole bullshit bowl of cherries.
but.... i discovered one thing that is real. Especially as of one year ago..
rather stuck. absolutelly end of the line ...and the train line me to her on strike...no hope... toughest winter ever back there
it is this time of the year when utterly at the end of the line riad all of it....you know you are going to be 'depressed'...
every rational bit of science says so.
but... up at 6.30am latest ready for first light somehow .... it really is being out at first light even winter has pleny4y if uv....
10 mins into first light even misty cloudy you know there is only one medicine that always works ...
and all this misery and the cult of trauma talk is mainly because people dont get up when nature EVOLVED us to be up... over 100 thou years.....and needing ... requiring... BEing ....that uv light, especially in the winter
it simply is us we are symbiotic... parasitic upon the uv... for our system to be in harmony...
noemal
every hour matters especially this time
