Note to self.
Of the various pure experiences one lives in simplest mode.
Which incorporates for ..(???) reasons far too many evenings- in fact all of them, alone for 8 years...
Once again ( the emvironmentalists never share practical better modes- yesterday dusk, as we three, a demi Punjabber too! ( we touched as we spoke and I told her of my pet big bullneck one.." only funny man i ever met, what a waste...he could have had anything ..and been the great white hope!") ... by 4.30pm we are quite chilly...
( " you really must write, you are so diferent you are like us.... her down the river a bit... seek her she is 7nique and will onspire you both speak exactly the same lingo... and also immigrants from essentially war zones... i can tell you are a real woman.. no britborn allows such truly neutral free conversation as ours thisaft... me i am a wrirdo maybe it was my father building their palaces that dame warzone... yes i was taken to chop chop square... i am the same, above petty bourgeois ..dillettante yes FEAR you understand ... and no one hear WANTS ever to hear or speak truth....me i got arredtedcfor it often enough hahh hahh.... but as for your 'trauma' no not a good word but i too still have lamentful flashbacks thinking of how those waahabs starved to death their prisoners and treated their female people as animals..... we werent lowed to see either but i hav3 my own strong image of the former ztill often in mt mind. it still haunts a little... but i dont call it trauma.. we need new words. ")
Good for me...
I know she will write
( " you must.... my daughters grandmother even so poisoned by their cash.... my daughter will need yo read your book one day... are there any you know of about that people.. the real truths as you say bringing out some fantastic wise moderm soulful humanity....no.. how interesting .... you are that bridge... do it!!...and heck we ..humanity.. needs it... ")
But my mind ( the universal... noh theyre all the same in potential.... if you get back close to ' natural state')
i love it this morn it always happens. As usual ...winter regime under the rugs by 8... 7 if v cold...
And i like to mentally meander through the day gone
But the faces, dont always reveal themselves in rhe evening minds eye. Which is strange as her eyes for two hours at shitcreek park we so fireily spoke of her future healing blahh blahh....
" i am a bit alchemist..a bit shamaist... a bit medatative "
warning light...
BUT ... when we shifted to " so where were uou raised then?"
Her reality arose, and such an inteligent clean living woman, that ' diference' arose
20 years experience of attempting to inteligently discuss the bodymind soul... sometimes spiritual ( " theres more than the Gwerk bench we sit on... cant we leave it at that... as i know no one who evee can prive what IT is...or why") any English who is unworldly as soon as one says " hahhh hahhh a second word, for years every other word from peeps like you 'healing'; for years i say to people " i am notsure i really know what 'spiritual' means ... ir 'energy'.. i jave trained myself to speal of the ineffable, and for energy i prefer lifefirce...and as forhealing tgeres a tyranny inherent in thinking si...never mind it being very other word [ in the brit SERVICE economy, everyone must make cash from everyobe else using any old nade up spin words].."
With a Britborn and mainly Brit living woman... the millisecond one is apostate to their fanatical words ( aforementioned) THEY KNOW are perfect.... and queries " are we sure the current trendy showoff words like trauma or even alchemy and certainly ' feminine' actually HELP us all ... [ find universal peace and centredness].." Britwoman of Hay-on-wye, Presteigne, Foulmouth or Gwerk will imediately fevelop a case of viscious spitty energy and want to mentally chop your head off
which just shows their wellness/mindfulness/holistic mousedropping therapy/ cold yoga/ ... 'services' havent even worked on 'THEM' even
cos tge point surely is being human... and gently looking for 1 +1 mind...maybe can = 3
Anyway.... i know i shall not encounter her again, we did enough... the hesitant smile at the beginning of the mini mamourh, by the time we had gotten to BEING ALLOWED... to debate even our own words .. her sniling and fiery into that project! she knows i am right " the wonkiest of extremist arab upbringing in very white ...
" thought you were slav in fact... skin... but a genuine wish to speak out about here!... your parents other homeland..... everyone stuck... all [" but her... up there :-) wont even admit truly dodgy truths like Britain should be in the Hague""
Anyway... just another magical new moment...
none i wish.
i had enough and one year ago know i had had enough of them... and wish only one thing....
but thay mind. SIMPLE mode is about being so free of much distraction ( and taking the time to be in total synch with ones helpmeet)
i find it interesting and lovely: a fairly ' normal' day yesterday even if up at 4.30 not quite enough sleep... fairly intense ish day just spkurging and writing a fair dollop...
pondering her in tge evening under the rugs 8pm her face was lost to me...
i remembered her every word... and wish to hear more of her teen experience there...
But her face blurwd in my mind .
up early ... its ALWAYS warmer 6am -8... or feels it.... greens never advise peeps of thhis of course ..every one i jave known far too busy being Messiahs
or " two per chimney esoecially as you get older and a bit poorer.."
nope far too human a solution for the uk Green party
Anyway within 1 min of wajey her face comes into my minds eye sharp as a photo....
always happens like that .. oftwn the faces are vlbkurry at end of day but first thing they are as if in real life...
but you have to be in simple mode ( and have good sleep) ... for that to Be so
That i discovered..in tjis lovely simple life mode... some years ago
