Monday 4 December 2023

" simple" and "her mitude"

 Well remember the lesson, as usual the body .. three months of partly decreed downtime.


minus ten percent to thirty st times.

We never know what we need

until it has given its gift

Of mojo 100 but more


All the past



identity even

paused into 

the end

endings take time.

If a new beginning is to be built on just the right balance and dance.

Anyway thats all very well  but ' simple' is about having the tital poise and grace and space to notice

and then remember

And not TRY to understand why  .

Wonky laptop charger

( i am most organised person on planet ...never matter what pressure.. knowing a year even on the road .. i bought two before i set off... even if just up the road into the hills two years ago.... but did they ever work?!...  of course not the worldwide fraud... let go, dont bother complaining....)

even if the crumbled tip rebuilt at poopoo creek in July

" miracle, success! .. thought i was finished..."

not quite

Weird magic maybe... 

damn thing wont orange-light..  

upright ( on its edge) 

flat on desk while writing bad posts

The 'connection' will not prevail...anywhere!

Exceot i noticed

just one place- maybe it is some  weirdest chance of physics .. leading to some balance or pressure on the base

in exactly the tight place

it always charges just  


no not 'here' geographically... i am not of 'here ' in any way

I am pnly self contained

need no 'here'

Except for one reason, having at last found....

A place

Next place on the migrations around

dancing around the region, not too far from avenue 6 juin

this morning  i awoke and remembered the mental place

arrived at this time last year

even if i am the lucky one, 2017 mouldybug near finished me and i ' met my maker' many a cold morning several years.. at my dawn fireplace embers.

 total and complete acceptence of  

2020 what sn absurd phoenix time from day one

( i even told the 'beutiful people' Russian yesterday " for gods sake no never lose that mother tongue....  i read Tolstoy Resurrection April 2020 at a river... not weeping Paulo ...only smiling... and was told a few months later by a rare person a cultured man wandering around that  lovely bridge,  he had read it in the mother tongue and it is a far richer poetical experience... as Leo intended")

Anyway good for me

But once again, a year ago.. despite three glorious years every moment new life, so many new people but never one ... the right one  .

talk about the definition of wanting to have every dawn forever, life such fun...

And then ...a year ago  a conversation began  like i had never had in life...

But... coinciding with two weeks truly at death trap city

December last minus ten fir days and i had a dose of the plague ... ) i need no 'test' i know a diferent bug when it does me... corvid gets me in the legs they go wobbly..

so as if mad i start to wander even higher up the hills... sweat it out or rather boost the natural systems... maybe they will 

In short though it is having  a kind of home as last years hills had become

One does i guess need some continuity 

to think

Even if a year ago almodt to the day i could only think of one place i wanted to Be...

nevertheless also every day for several months ..  a total acceptance that even if i feel like paradise if sorts ...for three years... alone but new communities of sorts .. but a final paradise now i know exactly what it is.

Only one person knows tve word 'hiraeth'. .

but for days between calls or phases, of hot then cold....

also i had to live every evening

" i accept totally death... i may not awake be it..   every day now a miraculous gift, but i dont need them.... i accept my pkace in the 

great timeline


and i know ... lived, it arose within body mind married in one as always ..that to live you have to accept death totally

almost live it

that came back before dawn today..

as if by magic