Sunday 28 January 2024

i lie

 even to myself: 

thoughtbubble " dont judge a 'bird' by her cover"

more grade belazzan thoughtbubble 

( i spoke to her of the great scene: Jep, post coital

 " so what do you do for a life?" ..

 " i am beautiful and rich.." 

" splendid,  good for you"

" i take selfies of me being beautiful and put them on Fakebook  all day...  would you like to see some?" 

[ smiling, satisfied, had his fill, fag in gob] .. " that would be charming"

"  wait on sweetie...let me just go and get my laptop..."

when she reurns the bed is empty, the french windows open... the breeze blowin gently at the curtains,  and her skimpy negligee... and Jep our hero is wanderin'  down the road ...still smiling...  clearly telling us get to a certain age and the bliss is never again having to do what we do not want to DO...... " 

" WOW...  yes... beautiful... perfect SIMPLE  cultural reference.." 

 the end of my Odyssey,  funny that after the Londoner nurse chatterati  an hour earlier " i never again speak with anyone ... ever... they are all hot cold, mindhateful.. unable to ever enjoy nuance  or a true compliment....insane ...  and that one clearly made her daughter sadly ranty  nuts into the bargain just explaining nicely yes even this watercourse here  utterly fuckerated....  nope... really viscious thoughtbubbles from them behind her speaking first with friendly smiles.... a nurse too they used to be real people doin real life.....nope.. the end... always same ole...  truth will compromise their dream hime...and property resale price... BE ... silent! "

And then you go and have two hours perfect conversation... all of life sought

an impossible perfect few hours all covered ... ( an educator of children) .. all laughed at

even listening " god i hear THAT" 


" 7 or 8 years ago i more or less stopped...  from 2005 many childcases i did... spent days with parents being Nazid by courts ss and cops

... they always told the truth to me even if so.etimes it took days full time for us to work through their trauma .. a real potential childloss... by 7 or 8 years ago it was IMPODSIBLE...  to know if they were telling truth ir weird attentiom seeking sick fantasy... even Hans the man i loved ...  years friends... his ' they are fakse aledging i caged our lass .. only for 5 mins.. in a dog cage' .. after a while i had no idea it started to cteep in to my head...i am just not sure even of his words... having realused all othergender words ... i just have no idea any more...   so i stopped "

" i agree.. i see that now in the many special neefy  kids i pick up the pieces ... but know all parents now went wonky....thanks you simplified it for me with that... .."

but .. the perfect convo... yes!  

the end

but then.... dont lie

" my 30 year old total Miss Anne Thrope [ her words not mine i dont believe they exist, people are only stuck]... if she were with us,  even if manager in Nazi health service she would actually spit at you and tell you to fuck off for being here maybe even get violent ..  as she would be with any any human met on a walk  ..not personal to you..

... she is a published author ..ok just about medicine and bodies..."

"so  wow... i know you are unique miraculous shouldnt exist  so i would love to read her material ... should be interesting as we do often inherit the truly good  subersive minds..whats her name i will borrow it from the library"

" ohhh i cant tell you that"

( the intro .." . Jesus ...age 13 i roaming my wild  hills...  beautiful nature no human stuff... one day i spied a small group coming up the lane onto the 1000ss of  sq km wild common we had sheep grazing  rights to.. me actual poor  dead opressed genocided  minority... a real shephard  did it just by my yoof......  and that one day i have only been a hatecrimist.... seeing their bright flourescent survival sos  clothes  midsummer... spoiling my perfect green aesthetic...  ever since then i never even look at folk in flourescent.... and you have longest  ' highviz' ive ever seen... luv its a miracle i even began the cheeky quippin' ..only cos your mutt liked nippin....and he made me laugh..... but im glad i did"


sorry... you get to 59 and have a 30 year ild only daughter tough as nails i am told

and hide 

your real identity


 even a slightly enlightened rennaisance man tried his best...may as well not have existed

The English, even the best i ever met.... are... back in the stone age

But theyve even  no idea who to be stoning... 

never mind why

its all just a pebble


( the name of Horrorfordshire drug services ... worst service in history as her mum ran it snd even she said her sweet mum

sweetest  innocent  child ... but very smart smartest  woman i will ever know

 said she was was  dangerously nuts...)

... i am a quadruple entendriste ... just for me) 

impossible yo have one actually only good convesation

now i do know

for sure

and the mongs ...

( i tell them i am for sure at least 1/8 th ... brush)

 except for him none are any more human

but i have realised something this morning

yes what has driven 'it' ...? a decade i mean

i realised.. most of them are in fact halfies. .. the drivers

Me i would love to be 50:50...

but its as if they desperately need some attention for the half that... is the answer!!!  no more colour is THE answer.. and so many leaders in the worldwide moan facilitated by BBC et al... are already half way there errata... all the way!! 

but wish us to know... know hear me... the exact opposite

( i discovered a month with The loony  Leb - made so by her Ebglush dad we both know but brownie mum too she knew didnt get brownie points for that cruelty age 9!!... last May... )