Wednesday 14 February 2024


" i was born into the wrong language"

was that my line earlier today?

Well i am not wading back through my  shit filled creek of typos and dangerous fast moving  logs flowing from under her bridge ..of an online diary,  that is only ( good, if the dots were joined) magical realism, failed to even be slightly magical... to reread it.


But i know it was good.

Even if various languages i am slightly cognisant of seem to have each a few useful words

better than any here

 but thats not any language useful -  a few words from this that and the other.. all i know even if one of the hardest and many layered and nuanced  in the world, words even conjugate to class and belief systems,  English is so lacking in what i know is 


The' writer',  as long as not some over self controlling immature person... wise  real ones know: you splurge 1000 lines a day. If you are lucky, just one is good.

All the rest try to hard to Be something in fact they are afraid of.... 

as good as [ her] their great words...

That was mine yoday, one of about 10 but the others are rather more double entendre:  or depend on... something else being read, rather than scanned, or spat at

In parrallel.

But whilst i am not an over-controller, take for example the word 'saudade' i needed conformation over some years from random Portuguese connections and it was the only one i activley disliked as a ..user... fake nurse getting paid 1000s per week as stand in fake childcarer...  

rape YUK  8 years, then back to sunny Portugal with the money i greedily...need .for bling.... dont give a shit about the kids..

whos definition " its not finished yet" i know is the best one and true

the eotds are mote valuable than the lack of values in a human, so ignore the latter

But i need nuance info,  on that above...  

the internet i never trust ( nor the versions shown by... endless self promotors

Someone taught me that 14 years ago...  i was naive then

IS this the right word?

But it must have no chagrin or angst in it. I don't in me.

Merely a statement of truth: done my bit, best i can, so stop... 

 to only have fun now...


at last only ponder 'art' 

No point in YUK doing fact..or documentary

even if a fair bit of that on the can.. thats for another age, generation.

'NOW' ..only art... fact here

 is fantasy