Wednesday 14 February 2024

I was born into the wrong language

 It is though, perhaps the ultimate great road trip 


If you dont get knocked off your bike (by the local farmers hate you for even mentioning fuckerated rivers - much of my 2015- 22), well the arrival at destination, crescendo of mind...

perfectly put into music

A bad poem

(i never think, just a few words percolate as  ones to ponder from an ideal dawn eight hours sleep,  and then i ruin it trying to sound like a poet, only for her...  " ohh i would like him to be poetical" 
But in fact, thats rather good, never mind coming "from a place that no longer exists" 
a tad.. well i know that feeling.. not exactly life affirming...and there are millions of us... just as orphan... 'place' in YUK certainly being a culture that was sane and the most enlightened on earth in the days of T & D thats...gone...

But " i was born into the wrong language" .. just came.. kairosish...
but does in fact sum up something i have so often  thought of the words in this curious mother tongue, i have always been suspicious of

hiraeth is dead and self pitying,
even if a fake language i observed all my life, used as self regard ( by Merms who colonised places like Hay) to make themselves look good and maybe even get on the grant gravy train...
however, to me the mother tongue.. from a different cultural mindset

saudade "  is not finished" ...  is just meandering ones way to surviving all the cant and vanity and miserable Merms.. 

("resilience" and even 'tenacity' ... far too man against elements or jungle Johnnies.. stealing their lands)

in other words other languages  or at least foreign lingo words,  can Be found that are more...onesself

But i still never think the goddesses are on anyones side, even after a week too busy   - the last tenuous ... (add in word later) ... to have a dunk, sat at last atch yesteraft...
"hahh hahhh... exactly when i need one...perfect... 12 degrees is a 'walk in the park'....  you cannot get more timely than that..and perfect cover of darkness with light  predawn rain means the stressed out nagging [at their poor pooches - its just too much!!] neurophobes walking their dogs wont be around to see naked man by river.. aside the park"