Be
after all....
9 months...
ok it can go to 9 months and 4 days...
I always knew the truly wisest writer of the modern era was HE Bates... humble thoughtful Herb....
Lawrence, well he woukd be the one whom if he met Herbert's beloved Lydia the greatest ever literay picture of a dancer...
DH chats her up.... . and after the 'fact', he picks up her tango boots cast aside in her desire, to paint a ferfect picture of them and her his only ever moment of true bliss..in a lifetime of real women, in various cowsheds............and they are so hot from all her other ..man...oeuvres
he gets terminal finger rot ..and dies of her...
And DH needed that
.a writer who always needed it to end in acid i fused tears of pain
Herb on the other hand, knew, that the end was never interesting.... what will Be, is... just a slow descent to
entropy
and a bad smell...
nothing ever works or has a happy ending...
i pretend i Be leave in them...but Herb knew otherwise, artfully and nonjudgementally, though....
as i know even if lovely fresh riversmell to me this morn..
But like Herb..if i have a literary god ..( the esses, i have a few)...
well book 9 of my Proustian DAYlight only wanderin' around nowhere ever intetesting... ends in only the inevitable Herbish: sinking into the mud aside her unseaworthy pile of rotted wood....
But fuck me... there is
as if 4 days overdue
a perfect newborn... all new and no fey words to spoil reality of... Diana's truth, the saleswoman's true smile ( "yes them fisherboys not so perfect as my postcards paint em.".)..
And then.... i should fog out her numberplate if its visible ... the only Ebglish woman who can give better than she got... and did me for three quid... every man in the land would wish to send her a dozen red hedgehogs if they knew...
And then one who repayed that fourfold in....
Something i couldnt get into a 500 page book even if Socratese and Voltaire and Diana's stone carver were helpin'....
But it must Be
in .. something
Because thats what went into the audio this morning ...
... at at kadt! a free elec open church 9 months alluded me.... and i started to write on, Sunday gone...
now to finish as it came true
if you do really love/value... well, they mustnt think you have in any way lost out by their... whateverstheproblemidness...
i defined " bulletproof" at last...
it has three dimensions..
and one terrible mother day
Is
book 10... even if just two perfect hours...in the last place you were ever going to go to, in fact unreservedly had decided
never... ever!
i know better.
... but here seems the newborn was actually ... hiding all along!
