Thursday 18 January 2024


 there is ...

summit drafty emails i have one i stumbled through yesteraft

To her... of him.... a man frankly almost as grotesque as mine


But i am so glad age about 23 i spent a week with 'im and his whore

a polite word for Magpie

( find the 'Cornish Magpie' pic from Xmas eve in the place of the Bee bobble... newword warning i should have ought it regardless the Beebob.... but i could cos i never give up and have the Beebob mamma number...)

Even if it was noted a month ago magpies rightly became legally protected - those (trigger warner!) Magpies... i new 14 years ago i had stumbled across their Queen...

no "bird" should be persecuted or even have the frozen piss extracted out of...

(how on earth does one explain that CULTURAL  wordy whirlwind... about three playful 'references' in one sentence to a non mothertonguist...?)

Anyway ...if there is SOME!!!!!! thing...

I know there 'is' 

And as for the other thing 

(interesting how even poor little Amal asked a good question this morning " ehhh... shouldt the people have 'intervened'... the dead dad and starvin nipper... why should we expect the Nazi social workers and lover [ they often are] bobbies to deal with everything always [if he had a brain he would state its NOT viable we already borrowed 2.6 tril to be unviable] ..")

I forget the two things.

1. is the trippy transcendental sublime ...divine coincidences...

So lets have a bit of Lucy 

oh yes it came back.... 

cos before we had dull old dances dressed up in something for Alexei to learn  anew...

There was the absolutely headfuck schizophrenic  actual best culture in the new world of the 70s into 80s... 

But...any sane person knew that as Brian almost personified 'the problem' of the Renaissance Englishman one knew (we did) was so dangerous with  his fancy Yaeger suits (i bet his were) .. well he simply was the most dangerous creature on the planet i just wish Pilger would have made it a bit more personalised...." yes your dad, too.... but it wasnt REALLY his fault he was just brainwashed by Bond and Bri..."

But my my... how to hook the best babes in touch with ..'it.Lucy 'n  saxy Jorja...

whom..... goes all the way 'there'...but there are a few 'there's...  and no one knows what the ferk the 'summit'

even if as proof of innate skin care carelessness....  sorry saxy Jorja is towered over by the greatest backing singers of all time, even " hes a problem"so says the Cheltenham witchybitch....  Bob.... would have sold his soul for 

who don't even get a name check.

Anyway i cannot recall when i found that... 2011? ...y then i knew nt only there was 'something' but you aren't even allowed to sing about it...never mind know what it is...(and thus all Christian theocrats are crets of the highest degree - i have splendid interviews with their kids from 2013ish... )  and especially tell younger people about it - not allowed! evil.......maybe only 53 year olds and above...

In short

In the throes of a feverish cold night the nightbeforeerlastereve

on the cliff edge of death

My mind wanders to the very fatman and his whore

As maybe the best lesson in life - for gods sake dont 


Beverly Hill-man, him...or her

But 'ang on a bit

Why do i give him an exemption?

Why subconsciously if i were arranging y own wake would i have him even on the guestlist?




My humble best schoolfriend those so formative actually rather perfect years

....  his near 'perfect' mum 'n Vern...

But were they? 

fact is much of my 20s i felt small next to his perfect artschool Goldsmiths so ultra ultra ultra Time-Out-Perfect (they would say now 'woke') credentials...  

Years of me being not quite so perfect humble him.... even if i bet he never told his perfect new architecture mates we so happily shared the black girl one night... and i had paid for her 'drinks'.... his perfect " we do competitions only" nouveau architecture  being above money.

Even if he ends up with Themeside houseboats more of it than i ever knew 



very fat, and very beery...

And no kid.  

The older perfect woman who hated me and my imperfections beyond them ...

And then beyond him.

But all thats houseboats floating down shitty water under bridgesIf i like truth whats the biggest one of all i ignored?

2016 " mate ... you and your decades of short breaks poppin over to some Euro city weekendbreak to architect,... and all your practice, perfect Europeans ... and half pax...   doesnt matter how our lives were different we have a shared foe and grief now....lets get together and walk the hills... or even go for a long bike around Europe whilst we can...."

" yeah sure too long weve not seen each other....defo coming up to yours in a few months when ive cracked a pile of work [skyscrapers].... "

And then 2021 " hey you [adoptee] ....Londoners made it through ..... can't go elsewhere...   come here to my sublime quiet countrylands like them of our yoof.... for a week and enjoy the peace and quiet now you made it though....your near fatal cancer too..."

" yeahhh... sure... no question.."

That truth.... at least yanks just dont take the call in the first place seemingly every seven or so years having to replace all their 'friends' 

But that is just truth.

The harder one is ... 15 or so years ago:

" ok...i know there is something....perhaps i made, or was forced to make the 'space' for it to come and  syncredentially trick me into thinking yes there is something and we can know what the ferk it is...for... but i am 'aware' and wish to know better words.... and thought on what words to use...

 but on the one hand we  have Dot - queen of the shamans and healers and grant appliers for dodgy yoga and healing ..and crooked crowdfunders..... and her endless "bliss" ...when it seems she actually doesnt have a very blissful existence all

especially at ome

so gloriously perfectly confirmed day in and out in 'err  erring kitchen autumn 2022.. the last place in the world i knew i would ever be...

but needed to see

Now i already have in my essay notes on what the eck to assay...

That we should NOT say much at all about what 



And i figured that a fair few years ago

" if... the nutjob forces  can come along and give me so many cute little 'divine coincidences' well they can come to anyone... UNMITTIGATED by some scammer like Ertha Love... because even she

 a year ago did 


'yes there are charlatans'

And i hate to call anyone even an inadvertent accidental  fraudster accidentally in her divine endless bliss accidentally leaving out the name of the registered charity that the 'charity crowdfund for 5 grand' would be assisting... in spring 2021  Dot 'n co launcherated...


ANyway in short.... nope one must not say anything about 'shaman'isery 

as misery is in thinking you know anything or getting one Fakebook like from pretending you do

and actual 'energy' comes from restraining ANY appetite to actually tell anyone what the answer is 

even if one has all the 'space' in the world and has made sure 14 years of just that be 'aware' of all the possibilities from nature, the sublime, the damn lot of these rather false words being there is no 'nature' there is only life... THEMIX of it all ustoo... 

rocks... innanamate ... that Hoffman may be right have minds too.... or not

 And not rocks... i.e. the rest

and breeding the next mates is sorry but true a jolly big force of nature

is something

All of which is impossible to know how to say even if one is a jolly ok intellectual..."

And what do we see  they breed like flies the latterday shamans, the  'aware'.. the 'awake'... well all i know that just a couple of those words are surely if nothing else there as notions so as to make you a bit more (universal human rights/ communitarian/ well mannered) " human" 

And i have known for 7 years that without any doubt 

All these metaphysics in the modern way

they are 

Do not work.

So....find some new words or at least take the old record and bash it over my head as i smile