Even mine - and i havent for years muttered many that i have not pondered
years.
In fact the only new words - good new ones, came from the very cold months of Novemer 2022 to February 23...mestuck..... two kindof duelling, so fabulously...
That creates new..
even a bit wonkydigital, if two mean it....we did...... there can be a Heidelberg Uncertainty principle of 1+1 = 3 trying hard to Be something even if what it ...is... i an unquantifiable force no matter how Sabine superphysicist you are
this morn
Now, that...the above, will appear nothing. Totally inconsequential.
( i sat by her - the 'liked', yesteraft and tidied my
poem/ free organic sage book... and yes, " where was i? ...oh yes.. i can beat that....i am ready now.."
But of all their awful, compulsory, Maggie-Merm words, " blisz" i would laugh at but i still have the Dorothy cd... from nr 20 years ago... she did have an angelic voice, even if used to blisswank.... and my aside... purely Orwellian exploration for material.... and understanding...Dec ' 22 discovered she didnt actually have any ...
All that matters is my own psyche THEMIX.. mind body
and arrogant conceited predictions on the nature of what is
fact
2006 after the most bookworthy father's funeral in history ( well .. memorial technically the actual f word i had better things to do, like growler LJ Wall and me..) ... her of the hotpantsonfire:.. "i am not married any more.."
One time returning from a hotpants session and getting such a bad bug from that revolting London hot air
i realised... bliss/ joy is that day, maybe 10 days after the first day it bites yer bum bigtime
and you feel like death,
when you feel fully back to prebug time
I distinctly remember a full on wave of that after that very buggering bug was
beat
and that is true joy
bodily
joy
100% visceral
lived experience
embodied
( though i still suck up to her by using her better word "bodily")
Thing is though... over the years. .
Be ing.. an actual reluctant sheppherd, to hoards of
new term Narco Polos
hahh hahh thats good
so sadly narcissisticly lost all they can do is circle the hole in their own holey head with white noise what a ferkin better than Voltaire metawhore...!!- the hole being lack of having to warrior, AND read at least 5 decent real novels a year... in ither words their centre, is sadly..nothing
Anyway, how many waking hours in a year
x18
x 3/4
=88,000 hours
about how many hours since 2006 my head, mind, body soul... universe, has been only on my daughter.. keeping going super existance til 2010, and then finding ways of fixing, fake marriages even to get her back home
the rest, of say 25000. ( prior scismtime nov 2022) 5000 off duty
20000 on green/ eu/ and other herding ...
obviously some convurrence- two " birds" one boulder
all failed
whist Be ing genius at never being totally lost to any lost 'cause'
nevertheless, as of 6 or 7 years ago that true JOY ( is a fact, if bodily):
a bug recedes, normal bodily health returns, " fuckin joy joy joy!"
mpment i wouldnt feel
or Be
so starkly
a singularity
probably because still ' caring' Be i g in ' cause' mode..
the psyche just pulled aside... available capacity ( we pretend we know) .. actually still, subconsciously giving a fuck about the above
her horrorscope was a bit right
but at least i tell only the truth
so perfectly proven by that uktra joy..
a desk cleared, a head knowing there is no point caring...
that 2006 - maybe 2010ish true only THEMIX
joy at the first bug free body back to 100% mojo
is like never Be
fore
o lies, no pretence no saying words that...should on theorey Be true
actual bodily Be ing..
100% free
100% undistracted
almost 100% honourary Maggie-Merm
i couldnt actually give a fuck any more
Mesnwhile back to, i am now writing her bible
simple is just not needing to even cook your peppers... what a waste of energy and time
( esoesh as yesteraft yhe ultimate nimble clever beating the 'system')
better for you raw anyway
"NOW"
i know what to write
Because there is the ' authenticity' moment her sexy musk at the PO...
But there is domething even better..
to Be...in La Grande Belazza...
nope... the liked one would still take too much.. time.. a fair bit methinks...
when time is not so forever, avoid even the time takers...
keep to what you already know
