"You yucky 'phobe'.."

 Ahahhh as so often i forgot the punch line of the earlier few paras...

HER FAULT

Not Missblaming some entitled warmnight stalker... as its a free country to stop and stare as long as a nice slimmish one and as long as i cant see the yes... 

And what a romantic predawn two atomised soul thing anyway i was midway through getting to the point

free substack made unusually yestereve.. whilst handwashing in the warmth which was just going to be a to-do list to share here but then i rambled on... as i need to get all finished now by boxing day

And the meaning of a "centred" life is to be able to have a lovely late afternoon half hour nap even on a high st even if high but so low in the unfacelifted count its daft and ("as long as i can still do that..") awake second dawn at 5pm in fact cuppa coffee only ever on awaking ...  a second new day splendid stuff always works i think only 'centred' peeps know they will always get their nap in even in Hell-on-High which i a weird way i really like...for one day a week maybe two at most ...but it was so close i so nearly gave her my website... so glad i din't.... even if she was worth my time ..its so important to be 99% incognito...  they hate thought in true Source places... 

ohh yes so i was about to write, i diligently watched Moonlight (2016) when it was released though by that time in fact 15 years refuse to pay ever for any crap films and it was available on some pirate site ...anyway i think you could almost blame it for Trump 1 it was so dire and cloying...

GREAT homo or whatever else art has been around since i was manipulated into being coercively luvvin Frank indeed without one smallest bit of phenotypical constructed gaybone in my bod....even now.. GREATEST ever art gives my bone a twitch ..now still....just lookin' at a true artist 

whom in about '74 i was criminally made to sit quite close to as he pumped his stuff just ion front,  in the Chelsea theatre... and he never traumatised me...

because you knew genius - the real kind....

Anyway i was just about to jot when disturbed so poetically i mean talk about a paradise region - 50km radius of even the most enthralling, fabulous almost vampire-sexy-witchie warmpredawn  watchers... 

nothing gets me out of the 'zone' once i start at ten past wakies.... but she did...

So yes to resume before i was so thrillingly coitus interuptus... 

 

So yes i was about to write: I doubt somehow and will eat my £1 charity shop cowboy Toggi necessary for solo man's work in the 'weather' even if lots of the girls have them too, to merely pose in.... if i am wrong, that in 1000 years there will be some historical  annal about a song that millions listened to on loop for decades about some bloke called Larry.. written as lost love song  ..by say Chiron from Moonlight fame...

And well all the unsayable things that i have a way of the lastish year getting fine  even if UKIPPY women  - scions of the community.... (even i wouldn't publish the latest Suzi chat where she was very sneery of the trans ... they are SO obsessed with and it really is rather a  lot of Reform especially the female contingent.......and by the sound of lastereves so interesting Moral Maze fuck put a bet on... they gonna win! 

its it.... 

and you cannot have it both ways.... 

It didn't even work for my one god Soccers.... well lets put it this way  the problematic woman whipping Dickens or whatever his Missbehaviour was had his Sydney Carton go to the big final stage to kindof prove to his lost true love he was more of a man than Ive ever been or whatever the only great Dickens line is...

i mean basically swapsies..

Whereas we didnt hear of any of Soccers little boys habit...come to his rescue... knock the hemlock out of his hand and say run away with me this is all silly prostratin nonsense... lets go play prostates and forget about all these silly fat other men 

I could be wrong of course.. the way the BBC demand on demand, everyone's gay .. as does EVERY middle aged quite senior lanyardist ive known for 15+ years... 

bet she wasnt thisterpredawn the way i could feel her piercing gaze through my windscreen ....

And at least 50% of my education which was from 30 years ago the Afternoon Play... has been unlistenable to for 3 or 4 years as it seems compulsory to be gay...

or the various other markers of what ('vulnerability' of course and as a truly dedicated counsellor for  virtually free, for a decade of really fucked up the backside state-harmed parents ive never met one.... ) i no longer know...

Anyway we can't talk about any of that....  quite uniquely in the UK... 

(ohh yes a FAR more important one of them in the pipeline from yesteraft and he even called me back! The Chret number 1 that is..) 

THE moment James 'Fun' proved there is no more 'society'. Define daddy issues - you won't be able to. And why Hay-on-Wye is frankly evil... a long time ago. Ohh yes a NEW WORD we do need as its missin

https://open.substack.com/pub/ralphschism/p/the-moment-james-fun-proved-there?r=2jdt8a&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

vaious things need weaving intoa  sane seemin' stream now..

All from the last few months then back to the spring of what a glorious summer and spring

Ivbe been full time at this for 9 months

But the bizarrest of tricks of the night....when in midsummer no time to type or do much here at all.... i have 4000 readers many a day...

And now back to average 400 ...

which is a clear sign of all my efforts are so hated its daft...

But then..(to be cont) 

[ an interlude at the splendid largest atch

 .. i could write a whole book about... and so want to meet the owner of the left behind girly van i park next to... here..one night a week... at 530 in the warmdark... sat in my reddle van like Digory except very clean .. a solitary warm candle lights up the clearing peeking above the dashbord lighting up warmly thr occupant within bust at his chore this ... a woman comes by and stands only a meter away for some minutes     just barely visible silhouetted  against or is it ,'by', a distant streetlight ..   slim.. 40 ish by her posture and gait ... quietly sentinel or spy . who cares in the predawn warmdark  we are all one... but she too shy to make herself or motive known .. but she had some reason to linger  ..welcome friendly voyeur  that warmdark one ... ]

The Great though rather flawed Mr Hardy would write just like that .. stick in his little snapshot ' interludes' 

that made sense later on    sadly i doubt she can....

anyway yes sadfact that he virtually disowned his own pretty hood books later on in life ..but then when age 17 whether made to or by some teenage kink   he was sat front row seeing an attractive   woman in her prime hung to death ..   well its going to warp you a bit...for most of life    

and i should disown my finger jabbing dawnophone  as a fine ascetic thinker turns IFF all apps and all ' auto correct' bimbo  enhancements which merely dehance propper poetical wordplay  ... but the fucker  still auto   changes SOME words and and also doesnt red squiggle obviously nonwords  like eg dog  if misstyping 'dod'  it  leaves un squiggled

so this will be full of horrid seemingly madperson  errors not my fault ...

as a madperson  cant even deal with one line of clear english about a return of a very ill  free laptop still in warranty  for one week longer .. ( ahahh but where from? later ..i earned it bigtime!  as the chronicles will prove)

" morality" for Gweek girls, soon....

 as i nailed it.

At last even though as a full time vagabond  nobody would ever know...

And once lived where the poor vile mummy's boy and well known sisterfucker  actually ' romanced' Lady Oxford and her  17 or was it 14 year old daughter at the same time ...

.....according to Fiona's biography of mad bad him.... renowned as the best  book that hot to his heart n soul ..

but she didn't even speculate  if said Mrs O ...knew....

well ....as there were about 100 slaves in attendance .... and its for sure one if them will have been her private backrubber...and spy...

you cant have it hoth ways ...that nasty Italian habit....

anyway its so sad i cant get to photos of that so romantic place   .... 

Esther locked away too...making up stories of vandals ..

after i had to sleep  traumatised for seven years only 100m from the scene of his dastardly deeds . 

and hers 

Anyway.... i would bet my £1 Toggi cowboy hat, actually occasionally necessary as a part time Woodlander in most weathers..  that in 1000 years some wikkipedia  oops that wont last..if there are jolly good history books  not post 'modernised' for girls who weren't daddy'd into truth...

"god" will get a rightful write up along lines of ...

well he was always a bit of a creepy type the peeps never warmed to him entirely... at least he never went and hunted badgers  playing with them as they died like his 'honoured' buddy... who never recovered from the addiction of being loveable..... and told so so often.... but then 91 at his Albert Hall ... whilst Serbia is still refining the homoerotic marching song for future titting,  after the first tatting genocide of them delightful Croats next door... someone resentfully went into his presence .. and well before the moment of the old girlfriend song  came on.... well you knew ... well its simple .. perhaps the other dead darkie part-time junky may have been equal  over time ...  and theres the other one from private school i have had to cancel as i didn't know he was a total Alistair Crowley first edition obsessive collector. .... and follower

anyway a bit like  Antigone the fabulous 1961 film ... a modern upgrade ..  that has never been beaten ( The Mong sent it in)...  where its about two of em with issues ... and i dont think it was quite as black and white as modern history may now suggest ..

.... old Eric cannot be disentangled from milkin his old girlfriend.... a tad obsessively ....

i wonder what he thinks still playin his hymn to her  50 years on....

oops this is meant to be a  a one liner in 1000 years    

his swan song and major  endless cash cow ...   on repeat for decades...  known for decades  as The pinnacle of his godliness  and why he was called ' god'

but you had BE there  even if reticently to... hear the lacuna between every sublimest pluckin' .... of the strings...

 right "morality" for  them lost Hatesiders soon... yes we sll hate the word but sometimes there are no others that will do

( and impossible things to report. 0430 THE truly wise yank wiser than anyone here.. ... and lastereve  an extraordinarily interesting Moral  one .. but theres a sequence full time i am grand finale-ing.. loads .. already made but   needs weaving together...and its BECAUSE of freeloading users voyeurs and general meanies that 

i am more energised than ever every morning,  always .. even her the one i thought could be trusted.... 

ohh yes and i think i have a Thomas More thing ..him of Utopia  fame  which is a very down to earth Universalist book...  on religion that even the fat ex punk rocker turned bbc broadcaster turned to ... and it didnt 'save' him.. as you will doon hear by his own voice...from being his own criminal self..)

exclusive

not clickbait or for attention

only as i like real history  even if impossible to find in britin books... 

largely rit by sugar addicts which science does state many years causes real moodswing

and junkies often do use as  last resort 'high' when theyve run out of dope..

and most junkies are very clever  not dopes  on dope just ..misinformed about one small fact

But there has always all of life

 been one  simplest incongruity

And that is unbeatable

( but as i told her " sermoned .." 

yestereve at last a worthwhile diversion to forget the dullness  of their deathcultplace... the time,  all one hour of it flew .. i am the hopeful fool who once did something every single ' activist'  said could not be   )

Anyway on mornings as perfect as this even if all mine are

or 99% .. the post Charles morning   a rare not so....

only the junky will do

And, now Sir, Badger Baiter...oops error... Badger Baiter MBE...says it all .  

The junky hardly even shown... says so much

But if i really really did love her

 ...i would do that

As it should be must be could be

and cos ( with these glorious multifarious territories)

i can 

 

agghhh you take a photo-note ALWAYS in landscape of all you really wish to do, handwrite-  but the Gabors and Eckhearts with their fixed view of the person - which is fascist in fact, as all lanyardists became, the really cool sexy ones of course don't have to wear theirs in public... and would be out of business if someone said " my handwriting was pretty crows feel fifteen years ago - pretty nice in 20s up to mid 30s then gradually deteriorated,  and i KNEW for a fact that is a sexier 100% sexier fact than old man Gabor still wants to seem aged old man, factual there is no way i shall EVER write nice and sexily ever again ...not possible, until perhaps 3 or 4 years ago it came back and is almost automatic nowadays despite rarely having the time to sit gracefully poised due the RACKET in all public spaces in all The Sw...   so ehhh..it was just a PHASE...and the definition of phase like 'mood' is ...they change... put that in your pipe and smoke it you silly man and all your immutables they all make money from...rather han story of impossible real change that can be proven...  by thousands of pages of diaries and other stufftoo.... "

 

Anyway the fuckwittery of the phonetech whatever not only can't pick up my broken PC despite 3 weeks arguing with the AI... its the way the younger so called helpdesk peeps are so personality disordered they can't ;listen to one smallest request thats the answer even if only symptom of just how  End Times my age group have been entirely unable to school the next half a generation down on the line....simple clear  simple stuff like ...

(thats a whole dull book)

But one 'line' is if my hundreds maybe thousands of readers are too mean to ever even buymeacofee  in the f8nds link above im not going to waste my precious time trurning it around to the 'aspect' i took it before  putting it here infact what a lovely poetical jab up your doubtess Italian bottoms... metaphore allegory word picture: all you can do is neck crane, so do all youre any good for and swivel on it 

how absurd this week has been all has gone to some kind of idealised nearly dream..plan

Even if a few days behind sched..

the warm rain here on sched

just when i need a riverdip...

Gotta smell nice tomorrow... even if its ALL only for YOU meanies...

In fact ideally i would whiff a bit ... 

But i don't have to do that act any more...

They cut me off - the world record holder at keeping to Tony's law... 

End of all obscure playful refs....soon.

Many a word has about 7 layers of other meaning yet to reveal ..you are merely keeping my notes and will alive 

As someone had to.. the Christians dont..

Never mind the 'Greens'..

Who aren't.

Oh yes a few keylines....

 must not forget,

for example you have to look REALLY hard.. really look and listen... 

To be told that.... 450 million people, i was going to say minus 70 millionsih on ritolin, 'lite', eg their manic conmsumption of even 100 quid cowboy hats ...  or the full whack, they dose with their kids with for 30 years....despite it being un TESTABLE double blind randomised, on children...

you wont have heard that all 449,999,999, sane people - those of the European Union,    the one exception being petit man Macaroon.... really did realise a good year ago that Ukraine should just give up the 'fight' thats caused a good load of poor dead silly young men whos mothers were too ignorant to have watched Deerhunter about how the buskets always get used eventually even for ones own brains.... if you go to war... probably a million when they get the buckets over there picking up the bits...

And all those 449,999,999 are ever more bemused as to why the has-been little Shopping Aisle is the ONLY one thats tellin' the corrupt little comedian to keep beggin' for more bombs and tanks to merely prolong...  the inevitable next buckets full of more bits...

Really..it's not a joke.

UK alone their cheerleader!

Not even America gives a fuck for some years or ever really....

Maggie was the only one in Berlin Wall down abouttime those extraordinary few weeks afdter Mr and Mrs Romania got what wasnt comming to them but certainly needed shutting up for life...who said "no not yet" i know as a banker client of mine was there...in that room.

Boris the only one.... who even Vladmir told the truth about once ....quite clearly to Tucker  - he didnt think just blurted: " the fat pigfucker said 'no' when everyone else was ready to sue for peace after a few months "

ohh yes and Glasto-Emily wanted him all for her own... stupid centre stage of morons cheering at nothin' as they never had brains to fry with their party drugs...so wouldn't know, reality....  just gawp at a TV screen of an uneducated  madman who (cant even manage to say " blame our lovely sweet victim blaming  - anyone but them....neighbour for selling half their  campsites to the yankee missile companies,  none of which are aimed at say Lisbon..") 

And then doubtless the Britolite complex kept Gaza going to suit themselves in  even more expensive suits...

So...any boat person staying here who cannot see that simplest 'pattern', well.... 

As, if ww3 did break out for the requisite End Times 17 minutes ... there is one thing for certain:  no other country could be bothered with the big ones - well very few, France blessem always a tad insecure, too which is what 'gastronomie' causes as a side effect.... so any of the saner others, well, theyre hardly likely to be on the first list...

Even my old schoolfriend Pete the pilot couldnt understand...and he has a lovely daughter too " Pete nobody's going to target say Portugal... as they are too savvy to ever have anything worth 'targetting'..."

And he called himself wise... 

full versions soon...

ohh yes the big fat dead guy from the BBC  also mustnt forget him ...but i have to FIND the recording from 4ish years ago as theres a sequence....

and WHY Raynor Winn is a REAL 'victim' of heinous sexism... all in the can a week now...but i try for some 'grace'... soon.

And the better Hokum was always the one on the beach

They ain't "hard" enough...(The 'time and motion' REAL tango; dancing for grown ups, whom actually need to magically intuit every foreword footstep by magical second sight, or they die) )

Anyway so where was I...

So yes if she - Little Miss 'case study'  really reallycould get into i mean deep down dive in ...

A 'road trip'  even if twas to get away FROM her....

Even if she is funny when i get onto the subject of the FIRST Bongo Sarah....

Her 30 year best buddie...

Indeed i use Bongo babes as 'archetype'.... for some years.

God this lot here think they matter .... 

Nobody does 'cept one..... and all them bongos bashed her once fine original mind in.... 

But if i could make her live when she only wanted to wilt die, and be done with herself (quite rightly)

Thing is..... 

For 100% certain i was goi8ng to splutter and give up and not have my mojo left three years ago...

(especially THAT unheated -15 one)

never mind well before...

hahh hahh its worse than the first edition, Min Kamp.... i read every single one of his infantile neurotic precious 3500 words of Min Kamp....

And i knew before the very first that all it was about was the gushing gussets of Radio 4 wished to have him at THEIR boom mic...

They're too precious to use it for what it was invented for the sound of their own words being a 'vibration'' too...

Never mind every single and plenty married Gweek babes wants one who looks like this worst writer in history ever, ohhyes i forgot ...

Lets start there, soon... 

Or in fact now

skip a paragraph

 Now i don't know why this has been on my desktop for some months...well i do really this September gazing out it spoiling my view  representing the Uttermost Vacuous fantasy one saw everywhere in  the most one dimensional place on the planet - literally a cartoon book...errata that would require growing up so as to be able to read them...  

skip to here: yes.. the rest from now plus above para was rit yestereve  and somehow the imps helped this morn i was thinking of him... so you turn up at SHitcreek (officially - official sewerage spills closing it off a week later but bored nobody to talk with you try and save it for...them.. https://helfordriveraction.blogspot.com/ - meaning you point some locals at a WELL KNOWN tried and true solution to the vile solutions...  and suggest " you could do your own...copying what WORKS elsewhere yes i know its work and you will have to put the 11am cans of beer with your kids, drugs and voodoo vomvom ayaerwhoasker  bucket long enough to 'WAKE UP'  but nobody else cares so you might if we believe your tshirts and bumper stickers..") anyway but number one true vile smell was indeed across the creek just down from the small bridge i would wash under a week or so loitering ...  now any sane and grown up- person the first time they ever are on a boat about age 18 for a month with a congenital showoff man who bought his as he had a small dick and needed to compensate - just as with most motors. ...and anyway they transport you back to Narnia or Swallows and Amazons.. if you dont want to grow up.... so a grown up takes NO interest whatsoever in boats or the sea all his life...until her woodbench is spied... long story... anyway marooned up shitcreek without a paddle... one day he the owner of the huge houseboatee thing first berth on the way upcreek from the bridge   wanders by for the second time with his dog and is engaged as he smiled a little... " hi ive been noting your big one whist i sit here writing my memoirs the last week [50 yds as the seagul flies overcreek] and doing some photographing emotive things...  but i dont know much about anything nautical...  like how you power your washing machine [clearly on every other day  ] .. how the drains work dont suppose i can have a wee tour one day or just hear abou7t a bit of it mere curiosity......." of course means the next day when he walks his dog next to you he doesnt even acknowledge you exist...Nor his occasionally there bit of fat fluff....  weird world their world: every bumper sticker about 'community' and we are nice jolly  seafayrin down to earth peeps....  against the 'state' ... all of that .... and in real life every single one a rude cunt with less manners than his neighbour who clearly was prowling me... and i was pleasant to her all 65ish years so so lonely  nearly driven herself mad with her big one too i even said i could help sand it a bit for her .... talk about a rustbucket ...just for company...none of which matters really

All that does.... was yesterday

Plus if case study Suzi whom i tell everything, knew  just how ultra always forever young i am and ridiculously healthy despite even her ... could feel could live with me the real fullest version with extremely lovingly-cheeky jokes even about Serbs and HER ex bestie Sarah ...  she could live as stupidly long as every day i always feel i am just to bore myself to death....

(rit lastereve) 

Righty ho..

if it wasn't that MY bridge over the best of atches,  has been literally ramraided by some SWestern child driver and the road closed i wouldn't be here...  and nor would this: ...

Now i have many poignant pics. Far too many but they are each for a reason. Thistermorn at LAST 'inspired' by a vanwoman, a grown up non-absurdist, 'howto', next.. though it may take some time....

Anyway that's a really weird majyiik kind of unplanned route.. unbeknownst, the one i needed to be on. 

So to think three years ago i was 'inspired' - indeed as if seeing a perfect real artistic performance, at one of these. 

Anyway in this lost peninsula of so many  ex Priory inhabitants - and they're the safer ones.... build your own. Even more symbolic than a built bed.

 

Now.. the pics are probably nicer than the whole load of film but this is merely FOR me...

fuck off everyone else to some dull 'vlog' about hairdressing

the ones from a yeaarish ago the very worse some other REAL woman told me...

https://www.youtube.com/@its_van_life

but dont as her evil twin, him, is ten times worse...

And all the rest have nowt to say either...

except the yank'  recently found ....just a BIT of hope even if she's obsessed with her "number twos" so cant be in the same carvan as them ever.... 

ohh yes today

if Suzi knew...

how the 'road trip' almost NO machinery every day no matter what... has more actual energy than the best ever road trip ditty...

 thing is....she wouldn't 'fight' cos she knew i won the battle even with...her...... 

VIDEOS IN HERE IN A BIT

what i do to get all these free vids up you would never guess...

(nor ANY "safety" equipment ever - thus ones six senses are all alive to every single danger, always, second nature, first,  even their second sight one...)

oops i may have missed one or two all first draft

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Ahahh now THE two greats in one year... the other one has been in drafts three months....soon

Only one man was allowed to wear his rather silly flourescent...safety gear... as he had earned the right. 

"make everything 'brighter' .."

 The stupid little thing says, even if i am stupider by not thinking some months bac, turn down the screen brightness even if the little ADHD excuse for capitalist piggery didnt decide two decs ago to standardise ALL key strokes and make it ferkin findable....

Now the inevitably one dimensional browser ear wouldnt even think twice why Laura makes me smile

And i need to find the real life one she loved having her pictook

And one always knew what she thought, as being a FINEST ever country lass and her beauty comming from cutting up 'fallen stock' with her bare hands... her business - way of payin' for all them expensive nags..., but even that's not real beauty, as that ride.... her telling me her truth " i am too selfish to...pod"

is in one of the more well listened to audios of late that i had known.

Indeed all them rather woody kids at her School... they thought they were just watching some rather hairdoey blokes...

If only they had known.

But you never can.

As later on Laura laughed at...herself.... and a new life was indeed borne... 

its in the audio! just because i have a deliberately obtuse title doesnt mean there are stories as THE header of this states, are only nice 'smiley' content..

In fact when i told her that " LAura i am putting you in contacts as 'smiley rider'..." 

she smiled even brighter between ....every other word a glorious fulsome thoroughbred expletive

And i had only ever thought of her as a dreamy fayre maiden of just MY byway...

(that summer the only one i had a few weeks of real bodily maudlin...'19 but then when you had spent three years meandering, 5000km by old bike only one purpose...to  even more sweetly than the sweetest woman in history.... who THAT day: "LAura i am traumatised and havent ridden any nags for a decade as my lases was stolen from hers our Rocky we raised from a nipper..... a decade cloppin alongside her only ever.... the only time ever i joined in with your mad dangerous snobby 'kill-the-plebs' hobby was to ride free in them REAL hills with her and.... i had to google this morning 'how to ride'   ...")

Lets put the whatnext as simple as... 

Even if i KNOW why to hate all YAnks .... no exceptions especially and even if they live off  Mister Muppet it seems.... 

And hate even more all machinery....

(and of course only Sarah Impalin' knows 'hate'  is just a lazy word for anyone who cant be bothered to be a real hater and go to Columbine as a very mixed up yoof... they all are, so you think they'll be nice with 'AI' you're as nuts as those whom think Don was original enough to beat Sarah the 'Impaler in a nasty online shooting match.. as she put hateful shoot-em symbols on her enemy's first in a way he wouldnt dare....) 

Now there is one thing worse than all that 'hate' in the whole world, which is a woman having been told  - in writing too! she has a vulnerable and really terrified co-rider that glorious morn... (even if only terrified of the fact that the most perfect woman in the whole of Horridshire had been manipulated and coerced into  a mornin' out on her nags ..... and terrified a little bit that having forgotten how to ride, she would think one a true retard and thus...  the ride may be less interesting than in ones dreams.... )

But twas there in black and white: " ehh  look we have bonded over who is deeper in their muckheap for our respective livings by wotsup....pictured up to the armpits.... please really this is serious now i wish to live  a little longer now you brought me back to it....  find your smallest and most docile really, im serious now....neighbour..." 

Now... there is something only a woman who knows what bein' a woman is for....

DO

Now thats in the chronicles which are already rather woven into the audios

And of course even so called reliable Substack are on drugs in that occasionally i look at THEM 'stats'  (how interesting 'muckheap' os a word according to the Oggle red squiggle, 'Substack' isn't.... i mean ...they have Sarah's evil twin 'Bannon' - being those two did have partial brains...  they have Zimmerman... but not the only ok place on the internet...i wonder why.... 

Anyway WHAT a tangent!

just to say that seemingly 'stats' was lying when it said maybe 4 or 5 listens per week for the last few years...

I don't think i pressed some overcomplicate other 'dashboard' item... pondering my future Mondayaft....  (only whist uploading biggies)  and the bugger actually says some days 100+ listens which is probably as good as Meghan in truth... yet another with NOTHING to say despite her LA times and NY Times creds...

ANyway ... what they wont say stats or philosophers or 'gurus' especially of anything is that knowing you have only 5 listens a week for your best material is SO life enhancing..i dont know how to put it but its a  kind of 'fuckem, despite em, thing and NOT caring at all about failure..."  

And its even less good for you discovering there were always many more... (as i discovered 15 years ago but thats a really funny story)

Right quickly before battery goes...

Of course it occured to me well not until now..(in the very last month of the decade quest thats been so much fun but even more truly philosophical old George of Down and Out would be very jealous if there is an 'afterlife' )

Of course: Queen of the gibbers  - in other words sick mad Borderline PD people pleasers...in the COUNTRYSIDE where one should be immune to such behaviours,  and where the ruined the countryside (As it requires RELIABLE allies helpers etc...and the eco 'movement' ditto... ) 

The Queen she is in the audio with 'case study' in the title....

Five  years ago she said to me " Simon i know i am going to die younger than mee allowance..."

I even had a rare sort of dreamy dozing off vision thing where i saw her looking older and even unhappier in some rich blokes open topped sports car...

And according to 'natural' justice she deserves to Dead Parrot....  except in one category that she reads SOME reasonably good books  - literature..or did 20ish years ago and remembers them fairly well....

Thing is.... the second section OF The Chronicles...

Apart from they sure aint gonna have that name... as all pretend bohemians  especially from patinated Hatesville Creek... hate any big word bigger than Rush or 'Clash' 

Thing is.... and it is NOT 'despite' or to-spite...

THE one person who would just perhaps benefit from the stories, but the daily REALities of the last 5 years especially....almost always fullest mojo and the odd bug enjoyed too..... ..is my worst 'enemy' 

So of course she must have them first and even have the second option to make 20% ....

I know theyre good and i struggled with every dull poptart word of 

"i just want to be appyy" she said

 well i shall show her what "happy" is  - two minus 5 morning, at minus five from 6 am always no matter what ...up and perky

and this one eight dull gigabytes

But lastereve THE real 'remedy' - to all of em...

soon meaning 100% for certain midday

so at last

 ...not that i was looking for any 'inspiration', an as usual non word as it doesn't work like that.

Despite your dreadful teachers and lanyarded mindfulness whole class if fakes as they merely perform a saccharine playbook ...

The only way it does work is Dith,

did the opposite:

Made me feel as a young man utterly pathetic.

Any decent human walked out of the Notting Hill Coronet,  silent.

speechless even as a very very quiet person who rarely COULD say owt..

No way ever could one be that human.

Brave. The wrong word for just doing the right thing....

And even Sydney the arrogant yank was made to feel small.

At last.... just one

 vanwoman 

who... licenses

the correct word for ....

destigmatising, normalising... what is so simple and good its daft

VENAL, yes that's his word...

 Well the two of them indeed...

chloe

THIS will be finished later

It's worth the battery aggro... as was she 

Even if she's rather lost it, too.... thing is is do read MY inbound messages occasionally.

(but this is never a story or ten of 'social' media or anything to do with any phone... and i am about to face to face do the real dirty dance.. so so hippotoo)

"efficiency"!! .... (But of course, ok that makes it easier...)

 Now I know! terrible;

I wish to be neither cryptic, nor obtuse..

But it's fun.

And alive.

Rather than dead;

If it were only, them.

But I know I shall outlive gin-soaked, her.

So efficiency, unfortunately THE word -  even if far too dull for the saccharine tv addicted 'girl next door'.

But it is a real word of meat and two veg.

When every day you need to hedge:

no bet, merely onward anti-christian soldiering on

despite them.

Whom are of not one thirsty camel desperate for a needle-eye to pop through, bit of interest to me.

But even HE !

Went godsquad 

(this is one of the great untold REAL stories of The MArches

ohh a  day like today is only a Suzi day...

even if merely aide memoire:

a find the many pictures of so called women on the beach, midsummer - errs...

the one of seaweed sarnies and  naked boobies

actually fully neck to ankle showin off their Victorian

gownies...

I really did think i had died and gone to an even deeper level of hell on earth

But as long as one manages the  two pmish nap

like sane Europeans who largely and sanely go to the beach virtually unclad

as beaches were grand designed for prior to what? takin' over?

ohh yes.... all that self obsession about the SMALL things when generation Z's parents went and forgot to educate them that you don't go 'inside' and get all neurotic about the big hole in the sky or all the Axolotls dyin' of prozac piss too

ahhaahh i see she's shy  - so childish!

i was wrong of course .. though i really thought a reader understood how to grow up.

...anyway young women fully gowned up as if it was the Victorian age....  quite astonishing. And they aren't the dinosaur headdress ones either.. this is Deb and her mates.

(this is not a joke nor skit nor anything but real Montaigne comes back from the dead)

ohh yes item 2 to remember to share the actual Hokum,  Suzi one  with the only one just possibly may learn from it

Efficiency is every singe second of a day must be used wisely and especially in winter times planned well ahead; for every footstep has a consequence. Each one wastes my time and energy and calories. As i need nothing nor to be anywhere.

Every smallest shuffle for years, on behalf of others...

Anyway that's one story soon to be told fully but far more interesting is how the endless quest for efficiency  - long required even in Barbie times, 'twas necessary whilst GATHERER-(occasionally)-huntin'... 

Especially in real rural fringe places, 

with no vile Southern lanyardist cash infecting  sloppily 'swabbed' wounds made by nurses on drugs..

necessary to: have allies, never mind clear communicatorexes..  even if naggin' " don't use more crockery of forks than EXPLICITLY necessary as its a waste of time and causes more washin' up than the BARE essentials for life [which is actually about zero washing actually required]...  and don't wear your glasses outdoors as your eyes are still growing and maybe they may auto-compensate for your foureyedness..AND its a fuck of a long way,  about five  million years indeed to go to the optician if they get broken so only use them if REALLY necessary...and as for that silly woman wearing sunglasses at dawn....and someone wrote a GREAT essay on sunshine  even if it was donated to an impostor....about how the latest science is that all sunglasses indeed have unhuman negative effects were only just beginning to understand are ALWAYS negative...and while we're at it communicate EFFICIENTLY to those redneck numskulls in the cave next door that NO matter what you feel or think...if we go out in a pack foraging WITH the pram at exactly 10.00  and share our tools and minimal resources...us country folk will indeed thrive better or just manage to not forget our workgloves if one of ems got a bit precious hands and needs to waste time losing them... unless there are real vipers around to addtoerr'  inability to plan for all events and waste more time looking for the sticking plaster box..."

The efficiency quotient here has reached new levels... ( necessary because of that one of course).. who couldnt take it in that in civilian life, without stolen wages based on ripping off the txpayer rather than ones rainbow lanyard and saying years ago " i will expose this inhumanity" , or lunch... us normal people have to make use of every second... thats how we always sleep well. 

(good! loony in ...just to remind me theres something far more fun to do than bother charging up...even if amortised:  and efficiently as good as for free) 

"The Great Reset" *

 now my MOST preciousss... possession

him, soon.... "ohh but they're a special brand i checked on ebay"

which NOW is so so so poignant!

As i didn't know.

I say here yesteraft and began the real memoir with the nasty bits included...

Especially on why RAynor Winn was the vulnerable victim of a nasty sexist journalist AND a far far worse example of non fiction 'con' which no clevercloggs Chloe would dare 'expose' 

Knowing FULL well he will sue - NArniacs even ones that many years were toughguy punk singers turned the worst ever BBC broadcasting liar dont know what 'free speech' means especially when i have several audios of his....the real man behind the blubber... being REALLY nasty...in the far far more real Narnia on a bad mushroom trip,  than this duff  chimera of a county...  .. ( great for publicity - all lawfayre... when you KNOW exactly how you wish to spend every second of the rest of life and never before really wishing money to do just that .... it's time... time...

and.... well some dead should be spoke of Zarathrustian like.... now what do i do! ? ! ) 

This will not even be ready the full sequence til a few days of time have kairos-passed..

so come back 

it starts in the main hunting ground oops nothing to hunt here  but Mutton...

Yes starts the day before - that was the name my nicker one... it came back i forgot it yesteraft - the 'magyyiicc' of just getting to the keyboard blank slate and letting the goddesses tease...  (that anyone may read anything even if only one reader was ever wanted as per last audio substack that's a point some others missing lets try and fix today maybe)

lots more to insert in this playful playlist sequence some from long ago  - all i care about is thrift, and WHY you need to be it

* seems that one didnt happen either probably it got it's wires crossed in their 'chem trails' 

Indeed what one had to tolerate in their absurd Kindom of Miss.....Information

 Actually raised in the place of all them Rhiannons.. their home patch .... (even if Nan's buddy-one, sidekick, so prim and ...  not quite her rosey-cheeked bestie  friend... but she knew she had the REAL power.... was a real one, too) 

So that summer...

(definitely THE END meeting one popped out then with that name, too....  thank god i didn't weaken though...as i nearly did.. anyway wrong day for free croissants)

All those pathetic homos with their New Roses and Clashing titans of so called new grumpy music..

Stevie was there all along  - being a REAL one...all the way.

But never had a hope of gettin' her cute little nose in where t'was required: "maybe i made a mistake....   all that PR for non existent old Welsh witchies.... [sadly as i would have liked to have known a REAL one only ever once meeting a parasite holding coven tea-parties....  and not signing up as too cowardly to go all the way...and be of the club she created merely...to use]   almost as evil as making up anything 'celtish' when any celt with a good mind fucked off to Brittany or some other so called celtic place and got MONGin' ...so as to outbreed all the inbred  bullneck bigotree... "

 that later on especially NOW they still attempt to..

turn into a money tree

their pathetic Telletubine insanity

merely for tourists, incomers with nothing REAL to note...

and as i put in to her the so called woman of the book, my note...

pinpointed why in fact even if she brought to us real expressive punks

maybe she's not so innocent after all...

As it did utterly destroy the environmental movement

the real genius at least tried to sum up in real art...

"Naturträne" translates to "natural tear" or "nature's tear" from German. The term is often used in the context of music, such as the song "Naturträne" by Nina Hagen, which describes feelings of sadness and being overwhelmed by the beauty of nature

still work to do i need to go back and get the real intellectual feel of their finest word...

there bein' no point communicatin' to modern day Krauts doubtless so polluted by their own back home version of "the division" which as a Kraut luvva i know doesnt exist there either...

Theyve no manners nor humanity...

But the key to humanity is nevertheless pass on the GOOD information....

In spite

Not 'in' spite....but despiteenhaffen their Source-ruined wonky bonce of only inconsistency

free really really deep and complex Substack audio but really this is out of sequence in that at least a week to find accompanying fun bits or he may sue

VIDEO also to start this one this week all made unplanned yesteaft 

come back in a few days (now i see the substack traffic returning my only wish is to be MORE boring than Brett Weinstein.. and provide a sleep aide..) 

Ralph why part 2 i think, i forget the sequence i have so much fun strippin' the onion skin layers right down to the heart if onions have them? shownotes: link below *

https://open.substack.com/pub/ralphschism/p/ralph-why-part-2-i-think-i-forget?r=2jdt8a&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true

subtitles: 

the sadness of "immorality" being too hard a word for Gweek. And a great example of where it's useful no fuckin "human" could deny... .

like this beautiful one  for example

How to write.

why nobody ever ever does ANYthing...cos you need a backstop.

OH YES ...why Christians  - every one i have ever known, even my one still best buddy, are so 'evil' it's daft.... even if 'evil' is just a  word for children to use in cartoons, who never grew up...

* = the sequence my my SO much to add in as evidence and all that none of which really matters as two birds know i dont lie...ever - even if it may well have snagged their parsons nose as they STILL must clamber up onto the barbed wire  to show off and chirp from afar, i set up  around the bullshit they are still addicted to.. but i tend to win battles of the heart - for the hearts they need to one day succor and maybe even educate, too.... but fuck it takes forever!

Anyway yes ehhh....

I have a superb memory but even awaking 0430 "drat not quite the ideal eight"...  within 5 mins as always " nope glad of this time on the rainy days lets try and get the  real deeper dive useful stuff down... " and its amazing it FEELS nice it feels so lovely .... and the flow is ready because you would have no idea the effort made to have a laptop ready with SOME battery left for the only time i function: morning...

(as per that audio if i recall,... ohh no wrong its the private audio also that i had to make... as for her own sake she needs to have the arrow stuck up where doubtless she may like it ...but the sharp end first...not the tickly bits...  and... drum roll, like BIG drum roll:  I have THE most superb example of perfect  modern enlightened woman,  to share with her....  who i KNEW would not even answer the thing the big one 3 weeks ago..... it's impossible....  especially when one j'accuses like a loving father she never had: " ehh luv... i have to change my mind i am not sure you are FIT to have that bun in the oven despite me spending over three years supplying you with every conceivable turkey baster tip.. every single 'get doggin' if he can't' actual daddy tip any lovin' father not lost to losing Islam, would have the clearsightedness to scream.... cheerleading  real life bit of becoming a real human as only us childBORNE can ever know.... ANYTHING luv... ['tick tock body clock' chanted daily... even more evil in tone that Mister Clockwork Orange....]... ...  " which could not POSSIBLY work.....  not now be repurposed to pass on to the next generation....  as i have been doin' since way before dawn....  so as usual a lost up-n-downer has used up my battery....  but then  when one is  truly happy true genius of the atches...which has water which signal which is the quietest which way to park for shelter blahh blahh plus which has free croissants nearby....  .. yes as stated somewhere what a perfect 'home' - i have never felt the slightest bit thrilled by any home region for 30 years...... even if i need to be somewhere else and that's a new thing too.... )

REFERENCES TO BE LISTED HERE  SOON and SOME hasthags put in if i remember  them ugly things

And i lied about ONE thing, only " no more content.."  another loadsa gigs to do...from all weekend

on how to reset

I wonder if she "hates" me..?

 Even if the only one not really caught with her knicks...down

Ahahh only Stevie will do today.

Thistermorn from way before your pathetic dawn

And the pathetic so called HIStorians of even the rather useful 'punk' movement never credited err where credit's due

As undoubtedly THE first..

(And i went to see the rather showoff flyboys Them New York Dolls when they came to YUK 1980ish...Eric's in evilcity..i mean Hatseville-on-Shitcreek think they are so original with their statement hats...

 this tawat Mister Johansen, wasted at least a quid or two on my hard earned cash back then  poseurin' on stage in one of his feyboy silly hats callin emselves punk... when all they were were worse Nancies than the so called men of said places..)

(we haven't even began on THEM...)

 

Anyway all that fey Joan B .. there was only ever ONE great teacher-educatrix...

And actually great performance artist..

I mean that fat Serbone what a conjob...

Invented nothing..

whereas Stevie invented being a real punk when them Dolls just bimbo impostors....

At least at The Source region...

 most 

hmmm.... i need to know what she meant by " they are divided" ...i know it hurt her i could see by the non-direct drill, furrow ploughed brow .... have they ganged up against her ? ..of course viperly snakey  as the great thing about The Source over Pastyshire is there they are so lost  and druggie and mean  they seek quite violent confrontation i mean even in quiet aside places i ONLY seek...nope anythin to be in your face

Here they are entirely cowardly...

mummy's L'Oreal shares  plus a childhood at Beadales or whichever deathcamp the Ruperts go to  so as to emulate THE worst vile man ever  their Welsh god Howard Marks  yet they havent got the guts to rip the insulation they cant live without  out of their 150 grand adventure- mobile and pack it full of drugs and pay their OWN way ..and the price ...

so yes i do feel sorry for the ashen faced Colour Supplement women of this region  and yes ok most actually did grow up unlike 99% of Former Sovs and evolve out of  the absurd objectifying habit of makeup... so is ok really

but its obvious the Ruperts as being so cowardly ( seen in body language,  only sauntering in cowboy hats n fancy pants under cctv ...) 

really have not made  any of them happy...

especially  in  any real bein a man-way....   

its so obvious! 

maybe they should use the false cheek reddener    real evolved people grew out if decades ago...

anyway where was i... 

2nd best atch.

here we come

region!

territory!

neither here or there

even if yestermorn out if boredom i applied to be a trustee ...there   

at the nest of them vipers...  really

i dont lie

The ascetic life ...

 .... i just still do hope she knew  that the MODERN  secular actually a-bit-'great'-britolin culture of the 70s into 80s  defined it as less is more, 'secularly' meanin' nowt to do with sky faeries or cauldrons

( in fact a little researching certain words and changes the last few months really does show up how the dumbing downers  of cheap  photocopied academe  that became 99% of ' hits' drowned everything else with such conformist centre ground  and thus always failed thinking  is all you have on your menu of nothing)

ascetic doesnt kean being neurotic Jap ( the wonderful Kaori of Japland revealed in 2021 in our many great chats  how utterly cruel her peeps especially neighbours  were if she even mentioned irradiated  fish fingers in public when twas entirely acceptable  neigh the height of their modernity to turn little schoolgirls into wanking material ... on every high st   for every sad drunk older wanker Jap   )

and 'minimalist', or so called jesus  not wasting his ' daddy's ' garden' resources and demanding a jolly good stoning rather than such a waste of good firewood could have warmed up the cockles of someone not lost to that deathcult and indeed cross seeing all those showoff profligate woodwasting attention grabbers moaning a long death when a short sharp stoning would have been far more efficient and less wood wasteful ...

ascetic has no self pity or attention grabbing martyrdom innit

ascetic is knowing 99% of human stuff is unnecessary  and wastes ones energy tending cleaning or  stealing to get your fair "share" by even  going to work for Monsanto in Youessay for thirty years at that

and not needing cauldrons or ' ceremony' you have time to look after  habitat, protect it    fight for it to remain

rather than live on the hamster wheel so as to afford the ever more fancier cauldron ...

it expensive van ...my my the compulsory 30 grand flash things round here.... ( thats just thr small ones)

bigjobs 100s of k

i wouldnt want one if you paid me...as what a dullest ever way to define yourself...

me i dont ' live'  ' in' mine i always am in the conservatory upfront .in the light

and...ascetic means just the occasional treat...but only if earned and the planets align with the  most hurtful and painful force of growing up:  i shall waste a cupful of guel treating myself to best upper atch..

to at last read her....

humble pie

baby food for her own quite soon.... 

as only humility nourishes them  fully... and a bit if self backwhipping     as long as you mean it

"sail on silver girl..." hahh hahhh.....

 Now there is art.

And even if only one really any good... rfound 'n about

There is Art with a human face....and actual FEELING...

and gratitude  a two way event and thing

who can look you in the eye...

worth every penny of his many millions

for real Art... 

that makes you weep the good weepin'

and even earned the right to do his  'air  same age as err...

as if he is still as alive and better than

he was at his  well known seminal first edition

 Feeling real stuff cant be painted on has to be painted IN

and i bet he would say,  rather than sailin' on by...as if shes still in her big shitty city

.... "thanks for the expert oldschool paint product  tip ...  very graceful of you to think and  care...."

My my what a funny place.

Even if that would be the height of scalin' the interface

Up n over their absurdest "divide" 

ever spied

...if....

And i shall. 

That's how top 'o Their  shufflin World i am 

(next in the sequence why The Corporations win...with their ALWAYS shoddy goods 

even Anker...

rhymes with what a one of "them"

grown ups leave the receipt behind...

no matter what the Right Charlie did  to their hot and cold bonkers

 mind

I don't ever blame them.

There was always one simple solution )

But really next in the sequence

Inspired by the truly dire Pak who should go back to Enlightenment school

Even does a Phoebe on wirelss 4

Thinks it's big to be all "fucking"

Well she has an actual Big Sister..

earned the right to be in the ministerial motor

As there is gibbin' and then there's really really life-turning 

on a dime

just one time

A two way Bridge agreed and 

Pilger bought them together.....

As they both found their way to him apart

Fifteen years looking for that Bridge..

Never even close.

And then....

Now, of course one isn't allowed to tell pregnant women they dont even deserve to be so as they haven't a single hope of not repeatin' .. dad 'n alcosick mum  

Nor young woman chucked down the mountain into their never ending swamp

and her rageful teenage car keyin' dirty little habit

(at least some stepdads got poetic justice, served by their actual victim - the best way) 

Even if in a ten minute graceful lecture.

That could not POSSIBLY work...

It was impossible....

And even if the bare essentials already impossible to notice, i have saved her full reply three weeks now ... until when i feel even mountaintop of all  than her Alpine sanctuary ..

And am ready to enjoy every single pause and word. Not Now... The future dawn.  Earned... 

But one needs a reserve....

 ...now.

I do not understand.

Even wasting another hour once again stating in writing " have at least half of her great real literature collection for free...." And the usual so bad manners -can't people read? i find makeup quite vile. Just the smell of it wandering her stupid Track of conbooks is quite horrible. And i am not the only one whom realised what an offense it is... a fine womantoo... realised how right i was. 

We smiled.

I do not understand - maybe it's the free springwater I am sure some Rupert steals to sell in fancy little Hidden Huts...?

But i doubt it.

I do know it's fait accompli - no so called Jordan Mate infact i am so positively news energy filled up withy abundance i will give him his é....while we're at it the Master of all the indigeonosity con  (god Just as Hope Booth was thirty years earlier  the queen of Red indian expensive books[first editions even at even more £ pow pow ] for S Ken richbabes ,... neither seller not customer clearly benefited from any campfire wisdom nor calming smoke of freshly foraged  juniper branches  wafting through the empty  pioneering plains .. sunset or dawn as their pallor really did say they didnt get out much, in the daytime at any rate... as my my the my my these fat conartist blokes  such as Martín  are so behind the curve...just reeling in poor little lost former sovs who discovered the West wasn't quite as good as their telly told em  - and that's the Serbian version which said t'was really a madhouse...

oops you see there you go you copy his stupid little acute 'i' out of wikki and he takes over the whole font until he gets stopped.. just as he did to her poor head

Anyway why do i feel so absurdly even better than ever for weeks... like 18 but only ever 18  except i know everything now i ever needed to know also...which is only conceivably possible well past 50...

And act as better than ever - i mean utra multi-tasking and even a full hermitcrab  "reset"  today...to even purer Oracle Girl pure...simplicity.

Film tomor.... 

And SO unhermitty i even went back and spoke with her...

God that's not really me. To be so absurdly calm in the face of the rudest woman ever met  - even ruder than The Hay English rug one who previously held the record... (gosh there are such twintown parallels its daft)

who's drugs i saw last visit there mnerely to photoshoot and meet Olivia the Pole even if i knew she couldn't exist, werent working... 

And tell her "i shall be putting in an order..".. and even more personally straight from the heart, even if lie, just for fun.. " and i hope my beloved child will be actually making the order for her beloved dad.." just to see her face... she did remember me... how curious. 

But i feel only sorry for her. So drawn and clearly sleepless.... quite ill.

Funny that how despite being in their simply perfect "community" of artisanal farties ... and bad art (except for one) yet every other word on their posters is abundant clarity and fullsome flourishment(of course i have pics but they take so much more time to sort and sometimes bleep) , so many of them are drawn and really very ashen faced

(z** wasn't - maybe as she told the truth )

Which reminds me....

MAKE A NOTE

The ultimate bad tripa decade back  to return to ones place of being raised by old man Ralph and  driving up that road once again, for years every inch of the 6km knew as every inch the 13  year old had cycled up steepish hills puffing back and forth the local shittiest comp in the world...... three years

And of course a memory comes by as driving past Zoe's... as the real puffing was to catch up with her and her sister one and two  years older than me as i saw them begin their 2km to my school or me to theirs in fact...   down their drive,  from my spying place from their perfect ye olde filmset of a Cider With Rosie farmstead... so i would happen to coincide with them as they joined the road in and....  always such a coincidence we would meet almost every day...

and simply life changed forever... 

And rural folks even when they know they have their little 'fan''  whether unwanted or not... just to have spent one hay harvest the oldstyle way lugging small bales from Mister Henderson's with... 

Zoe (extremely prim for a comp girl and farmgirl in fact as prim as they get on her situp and beg..) jeering from her big rick how puny i was...

In that one long hot summer that year or the one after i met them and had nothing to say of course shaking with paralysis as only 13 year olds in the presence of a pure countrygirl  goddess can ... when

You just had to be there. 

And not even thought of for many a year...  but passing ...there she is at the end of her drive....

So of course one gets invited to supper...

I mean... fourty years was it?!... ten years ago....  nope i'm not that old but 30 quite a few..

Single... no children...  even rich-  the old farm hers (and by then to my shock the gentrifiers had even got to  The Vale of Clwyd so worth a bomb)...and no Mister Farmer to be her Gabriel Oak ..i mean is this a dream...

...And we have to spend half the evening her arguing whether  fucking Monsanto, her employer - highup scientist, too....  had maybe not saved the world, nature, and all of humanity... as she could only preach

Life cannot be as perverse as that.  Nor sick. 

forget her even if i can't forget *** ...why do i feel so simply every second was worth it...  (especially seeing SO many shuffle around these towns like the weight of the whole ridiculous 7th day temple on their backs...and such pained expressions) 

maybe it is because...??

stupid me...

 ...maybe afterall in the second year of our Lord '21, did in fact meet her...

my my we spoke so much....  

and she alone said " the greatest guru i am addicted to is the Indian topdog who said fuck it all its all a load of bollocks i am hiding in my cave and gave nothing to say" ..

Maria ultimate conwoman..  i liked... daw through on day one of many of my first ever whatsappery just bored  and curious

Fluent in the uktra con bullshit and seven languages too....

and my favourite peeps of all...

A Romanian

with a fancy  coiture handbag crammed with false passports   ....

on splendid highrate Frog  disability benefits,  too 

.... so who blocked whom? i cant recall theyyre so predictable ...and there's always a way around  that little hurdle ...  someone schooled me in....

Maria.... 

what a wonderful weekend ahead.

never mind....

 the fact of 'creative' something or owt...

.... not being very nice

is the one true zennergy  and 'waking up' ( god their three tear bullshit line they cant stop  what with chemtrails 

femtrails of nowt.( its ALLways the girlie sorry sexist soundin' but true ..  ... )

.... it has  a QUIET unloved free... sockit

And anyway the sourest pixie  a month ago so quickly forgotten.. 

as ..  

the last laugh on me: 

at her public place door jamb

little Miss " maybe all a hologram"

hahh hahhhh...   a decade back on actual Green dutyfully attemptin learnings and networkin'

i thought 'twas random and  most organic

nope.. there she is number one monetisin' " witch" 

the first joshed with just a tad

" do do you have actual eco network learnin's to share      with the three up ear in the actual environment....  10 percent pop density ... ? "

ok gottadmit got a thing for that witchie look

gets me off, hook or crook... 

but seriously back then sincerely  on the job

... never mind hologram

their ultimate excuse for doin' nowt

bout the shit in their own  creek

i had no idea would never have guessed

indeed only tricked down here by naughty little 

algorhythm...

same old fake barren dance....

seen thirty dull years

of an exceedingly boring shabby trance

how...ever...

to becont

shahh hahh i near gorgot, same pic too, 

its amazing how just like the Yank  'users'

of their wankyweb

they dont age..  

one day...

in one whole decade

indeed i bet, two

So, territor..ies...

 so all i know is i had no idea how perfect it could be to be nowhere as certainly for 100% certain one wishes to be in none of their Sourcetowns...

(even if i would like to help her get un"divided"... attention) 

So what you do is,   as The Toppermost Ends of The Earth

 is in fact not a Sourcetown - its merely a watering stop for the endless lost shopaholics  

And my my just spending half an hour in the twilight hurts

Dumpsville really quite windy  and rude-bus strewn lanes to get there from anywhere

You see them parading at 5pmish nowhere to go but streetwalk in things designed for S Ken High st..

Truly is a 'grotesque'.

And Divinest Comedy..

BUt there you go, got the facelift, got the designer 'throw'

got the designer doggie...

generally you end up nobody to walk the catwalk with

But the Lower Sourcetown the real one...

Now, i report only fact. And most folk dont like that in theme parks.

And they especially dont like to hear "my my you settled in the most boring place i have ever had the Miss Fortune to inhabit on the planet. And ive inhabited a whole range of places many REAL rural too.. ...and even spent enough time in your Doppelganger S Ken.."

So generally one just smiles like a spastic reading De Botton and scratching your head wondering if he 'lives' all his very subtly bossy 'lived' philosophy ? 

And even more smiley sharing the latest bad book with some potential girlfriend who laps it up  as thats ALL they do.. this is their thing: anything but here. I had no idea really how the Towny simply only exists on this 'thing' thing especially when they colonise places with nothing..

All is only their 'thing' be it silly Buddhist hats or silly  sheepskin half jackets ..or ...all of it is 100% cliche the word i rarely write as its not worth the effort copying and pasting in an acute e from some webpage as this cute old thing wont speak other lingos...

and i care about literacy as its all i have..

apart from a fab arse from so much walking as has been confirmed in writing many a time the last year and even is  in the annals of film for posteriority...

but  back and forth copying  and pasting in an acute 'e' is too much

And anyway the definition of philosophy

pootime thistermorn came to me

as a younger middle age man i would think

copyright me

life..its about realising many of the official cliches actually are largely true

But then especially when you are the luckiest person alive to have survived the true fires of Herculese or whatever (all is in the last little substack on Ralph the next 10 years, the full, unbowdlerised version..oops one even more  final best fun ever stab in the back to come soon....)

 and also survived not that lonely very often an even duller ditchwater  decade especially dull around her

shitfilled ditch

i mean i had to laugh ..

almost the same colour

But a GREAT writer and even greater film director and proof we're all racist Jew haters as Yentil way better than Brucie's  rather dour Killin' ... 

even if equally as gorgeous noses.... even if variants

of ANYthing but stuck up lill' English ones

And even more genius for laughin' at her own Miss Interpretation of the law and..the line

The "Streisand legal fight" refers to Barbra Streisand's 2003 lawsuit against a photographer, Kenneth Adelman, for including an aerial photograph of her Malibu home on his website. The lawsuit is famous because her attempt to suppress the photo backfired, leading to the "Streisand effect," where attempts to hide information inadvertently draw more attention to it. The lawsuit was dismissed, Streisand had to pay legal fees, and the photo received hundreds of thousands of views that would have otherwise been missed. 

misses as AI is so thick its daft the best second act...  she realised she had been such a moody twat....was indeed wrong...]

 so opened up all her Fakebook photos of err backgarden for ALL to see....nicer pix... taken with her own hand

beware i know my Streisand effect too.... and exactly where the 'line' is

 Anyway ...  a silly lost one doesnt know THE job means even if caught being silly...  not here of course

And a workman blocks out maybe even a week for a job even at 'mates rates' - having figured some amortisation of mutual benefit as i dont fuck the benefit system OR rip off tourists..

But then...nope... i wished indeed to stay one hundred percent pure

so the last gibbin (as when 'booked' one doesnt look for other work of course ... none of em seem to ever know... the definition of their 'narcissism' every other word they accuse...)

Indeed i am more than happy for as what a wonderful week just figuring the truth of the territory ramblin meanderin and lopein...

And meetin one i like.. even if ...ed

They never come back.

That is called 'justice' but does need to be rit more Saint Exuppryish one day...soon

And as i can turn on VERY shortlived battery little lappiedog and no plan to write anything and just head down and splurge on autopilot cold fingers and remember loops unfinished,  missed bits and everything and even the faeries 'elp 'casionally...

i shall get there one day

But you silly Wattses or  even Exuperries... (overrated  - his flying the Andes book as i have been in that same lonely position knowing that funny noise coming from the engine means you will die alone nobody cares or will even find your body...  is in fact rather confected indeed it is the slow burn of lonely death thats far more subtly poetical ) 

But all that matters is " wanna know how awful this region is but i am so happy as i stumbled across the real source.... "

And in fact make IT - nowhere else, the centre of stealthy vanlife.. the Worst of ALL Places

The Uttermost Hell hole...

" so there i was...  looking for the laundrette i had been told of - just like the silly man 3 years ago came along in his van ohh my the yoof ' hey know any good little villages in Pastyland to just park around nice scenery quiet roads and just a few chilled peeps..?'

And THE information as rural person or reluctant vehicle owner is all that matters... they no longer know even the vanblokes  

" ehh there's this real cool little place dead quiet and  just a few chilled peeps nearby... Gweek" 

Jesus would have wept 

Six moonths on following his tri[padvisor..

how...ever

I had no idea where to find ..it

The orrid thing that sadly defines

as if cliche

oh yes cliches more important though i have forgotten my first version twill come back..

adult middle age: no you then see through the cliches as being UNtrue... but only a few trips to  hell-n-back tunes up your xray vision...

just simple

fact

And only one  did indeed add that lovely extra phase to my life...so 

My "gratitude" is indeed only "abundant" 

And real

(unlike their wording  by default, of something they have never learned to..LIVE as you dont ever 'learn' anything... you merely get stabbed in the heart.... thats life. And if the little drops of blood as you retreat seem to patternate any next step its mad of course until you know in fact it was the uncliched best of all possible many worlds...)

So... live, mainly now, in the very very worst REAL Source..

ohh yes i do tell tales sometimes:

I was wandering around that one and saw a sign.. above a PUBLIC space .. about shoes and workshops...

In a public place

And i wandered in bit of a loose end and was sim-pl so immediately complimentary

" god forty years i have had it on my todo list find a place that handmakes sandals being even then they were so badly made a REAL walker walking in only hers all Pathy summer will find they dont last... ...and me i find at LAST you...when its too late no point  me too old all the babes run a mile ....  or apparently to the other side of the planet... here you are.... wow.."

and a few minutes later in a PUBLIC place having nice chats with WORKSHOP attendees one even from my last safe stomping ground Knighton - a human connection of sorts..

As she heard...

" i am so in admiration of you... do you mind if i stand here quietly for five minutes and just quietly watch you....all...in the promulgated public space you wish us to watch you in... or buy things "

You really do know when you've found the real source ... of the rudest people ever to have been extant

" i would rather it's only two.." 

with such a pixie smile and pixie costume and the pixie look they all harvest  ..in public.... 

This REAL Source,  the worst of them all..(Uppermost being mere fake even as a rural getaway and silly ) ..will be main winter basecamp

Because NO HOPE whatsoever of ever meeting anyone just ok and a bit philosop0hical not only is the answer to loneliness...

But you also see something more interesting: 

Just how FAUX-lonely at the Uppermosts faux place pretend...

All the 'friend friend gossip gossip' just masks the total loneliness seen and lived there...

I have never seen such a sadly lonely place

BUt the other remedy to the true deep loneliness that has you at times walking along the cliff edges for months thinking: it's rational...to...

is to know that the hurt of real lonely lonely the deep deep void that you know can only be filled up by jumping into one is in fact authentic real...

Is SOMEthing..a real 'emotion' or state of being..

when those who flock to The Source or their slightly poorer cousin  down Pastyshire... despite their 3000 FAkebook friends or fancy Queen of the workshops... are just as lonely

BUT

All their busy beeing all the Farmers marketing or Fleemark  fleecing ... and PR... distracts from the REAL feeling of it... that deep ache  that you feel you will die of....

And as the saying goes; if you have nothing to die for [or of] then you are a real; zombie just like them.... and we all know zombieism cannot be .. cured

even by homeopathy

The fully lonely so that their guts ache are FAR better off than this lot.. they are alive even if every second hurts at least its a real human emotion or state......someone needs to tell them!

but i cannot SEO or waste time on which silly hashtag all she seemed to do all day... hashtags are sadly ( a beyond-cliche fact) only for those who dont actually believe in their own words, alone..are worth reading